


Picture Perfect

by FollowYourDreams



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Bottom!Dan, Connor Franta - Freeform, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan AU, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Smut, Tronnor, Tyler Oakley - Freeform, model!phil, photographer!dan, top!phil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-04-24 02:36:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 47,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4902274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollowYourDreams/pseuds/FollowYourDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is a professional photographer and Phil is his muse. Unfortunately, Dan is forbidden to have a relationship with his models. However, when tension builds and builds, rules are broken, lines are crossed, and careers are put on the line. Phan. Fluff, smut, angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note: This is not me claiming that phan is real. This is me being shipper trash. Enjoy!

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 1:

Lights. Camera. Action. Nothing thrilled Dan more than hearing the shutter of his camera. When his camera shuttered, it meant he had captured a perfect image to last forever. Models loved working with Dan. Dan was a visionary, and he knew it. He only worked with the best models, and he chose each of them personally. If you were a model that wanted your career to take off, you’d better hope you were approached by Daniel Howell, London’s most famous and successful professional photographer.

“Work it, Jessica!” said Dan as he snapped picture after picture of one of his favorite models. Jessica was a rare specimen of lightly tanned skin and emerald eyes. Dan loved working with the lighting and how it made her eyes shine like real gemstones. “Turn to your left. I want to see your hair flow with the dress.”

Jessica flashed a perfect smile, “Whatever you say, Daniel.” She tossed her hair just right, and when Dan heard the camera shutter, he knew he had done it again.

“Perfect!” exclaimed Dan as he took a moment to catch his breath. He let his camera rest around his neck and opened up his water bottle that was brought to him by one of his assistants. After taking a swig of water, he sighed, and he smiled at Jessica. “Great work today, babe. Get some beauty rest.”

Jessica walked over to Dan. Dan could spot her body language message a mile away. She was about to ask the famous question. Sure enough, she said, “Why don’t we both rest up at my place?”

Dan gently cupped Jessica’s face, “Sorry, sweetheart, but you know the rules.”

“I thought a man like you would be up for a little bit of rule breaking,” said Jessica in her most seductive voice as she brought Dan’s face close to hers.

“Well,” said Dan, his voice trailing. He then pulled away. “Unfortunately, I’m married to my work.”

Jessica huffed, “Worth a shot.”

“I always am.” Dan gave Jessica a wink and left the studio.

After stepping outside, Dan got inside his private car. “Starbucks, please, I’m parched for something that isn’t the taste of the inside of my mouth.” His driver chuckled and started towards Starbucks. Once they arrived, his driver opened his door for him. Dan stepped out of the car and walked inside the building, hoping his coat would cover his extremely professional attire. He often posed for his own photoshoots and was sometimes recognized, so he deeply hoped he wouldn’t have to deal with that today.

“A cinnamon chai latte please, hot,” said Dan not bothering to look at the barista. He was too busy getting his credit card out.

“That will be 3.49,” informed the barista. Dan looked up from his wallet, and his heart stopped. He felt like he had been hit straight in the head with a hammer. The man standing in front of him was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He had black hair styled in a fringe that was swept to the right. His eyes were the most stunning thing Dan had ever laid his own eyes upon. Blue, green, and even some light shades of yellow seemed to mix into the man’s eyes. However, it was the blue that stood out the most, and Dan felt as if it was hard to breathe. Dan stood still, completely unaware he was staring with his mouth hung open.

“Um, are you alright?” asked the man.

Dan blinked and licked his lips unconsciously. “Um, yes. Sorry.” He handed the man his credit card, having no idea that eyes were still filled with awe. The barista smiled awkwardly, and swiped Dan’s card. “What’s your name?”

The barista had to take a moment to process Dan’s question. Why did he want to know his name? “Phil…” he said with slight suspicion in his voice. He handed Dan back his credit card, and picked up a cup for Dan’s drink. “Name?” Dan’s eyebrows rose. “For the cup. It’s just…for the cup.”

“Daniel,” said Dan with a slight smirk to his lips.

Phil shyly nodded his head and then wrote “Daniel” on the cup. “That will be right out.”

Dan smiled at Phil, and then sat down in the lounge area of Starbucks. A few minutes later, Phil called out, “Daniel.” Dan got up from his seat and walked up to the counter to grab his drink.

“Thank you,” he said, making sure his voice smoothly made it to Phil’s ears.

Phil blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s kind of my job.” Dan gave Phil his signature wink and left the Starbucks. His driver opened his door for him, and he sat inside his car.

Dan sipped his drink and smiled to himself, “Everett, make a note of this location. I think I just found London’s next top model.”

***

It wasn’t long before Dan had locked down who Phil was. His full name was Philip Michael Lester. He was 28 years old, just two years older than Dan. Dan couldn’t help but to feel entranced as he looked through any photos he could find of Phil on the internet. There was something about Phil that was perfect to Dan. Dan just had to have him.

Dan made his way to the same Starbucks location Phil worked at and waited for Phil’s shift to end. Almost immediately after Phil left the Starbucks building, Dan approached him. “Phil, right?”

Phil stopped dead in his tracks. He recognized Dan as a customer and was instantly confused as to why a costumer would want to talk to him, none the less remember his name. “Can I help you?”

“Have you ever considered modeling before?” asked Dan trying to make the idea sound intriguing.

Phil just stared at Dan for a moment. “Wait, what? Modeling? You’re joking right? This is some sort of prank.”

“No, I’m serious. I saw you the other day, and you’re perfect.”

“I’m supposed to believe that? I’m a skinny nerd that works at Starbucks.” Phil chuckled at his own statement.

Dan couldn’t help but to smile with a hint of sinister flare. “You’re a hot nerd, and where you work is irrelevant.”

Phil’s cheeks burned. He couldn’t believe what was happening. “Even if that were true, I’m too thin. The men that do modeling have trainers for Christ’s sake.”

“You don’t necessarily have to do photoshoots for sports magazines. Gaming magazines, advertisements for college, those are where we need a nerd, but a sexy nerd. Those are the types of photoshoots I have in mind for you.”

Phil bit his lip nervously, “So what are you? Are you someone that looks for models, or do you know someone?”

Dan chuckled. “Something like that. Honestly, you’re perfect. Please, please come to a trial photoshoot.”

Phil shrugged, “I think I’ll pass. Thanks anyways,” he started to walk away.

“I’ll pay you one-thousand pounds!” exclaimed Dan before he could even fathom what he had stated.

“You’ll _what_?” asked Phil as he turned around. He was stunned. Was this guy serious?

Dan nodded his head yes, “One-thousand pounds. Just come to the studio, and please, please do a trial photoshoot.”

Phil had to think for a moment. One-thousand pounds seemed worthwhile, however, the idea of modeling? He felt like he’d make a fool of himself. Despite that fear he said, “Alright.”

“Now just hear me out—wait. What did you say?”

“I said alright,” stated Phil as he crossed his arms. “Give me your business card if you have one.” Dan immediately pulled out his wallet and handed Phil a card. Phil looked at the card. _Daniel Howell._ “Come to this address?” Dan smiled and nodded yes, since he was at a loss for words. “Alright. When?”

“Uh, tomorrow; how’s 2:00 p.m.?”

“I get off at one, so that should be fine.”

Dan grinned from ear to ear, “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

Phil chuckled, “Shouldn’t I be thanking you?”

Dan couldn’t help but to chuckle as well, “Oh. It’s like you’ve never looked in a mirror.”


	2. Chapter 2

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 2:

Phil was sat at home on his laptop. He reached for his wallet and shuffled through it until he found the business card that Dan had given him. He Googled the name “Daniel Howell.” To his surprise, hundreds of web search results appeared. He started by reading Dan’s Wikipedia page, and soon discovered that Dan was a very successful photographer. After a while, he found out that Dan handpicked his models, and he felt equally flattered as he felt confused. Why in god’s name would Dan want _him_? Phil felt so ordinary. Even if he modeled for nerdy things, he still felt he wasn’t the right material. Regardless, he needed money, and Dan had promised one-thousand pounds. Plus, he knew that Dan had the means to pay up.

The next day, 2:00 p.m. eventually came around, and Phil found himself taking a very deep breath outside of the studio. He stepped inside and walked up to the front desk. “I-I have an appointment with Daniel Howell.”

The receptionist looked up at Phil. Her eyes widened slightly. This type of person didn’t seem like the kind Dan would approach. Despite that, she asked Phil, “Name?”

“Philip Lester.”

The receptionist found Phil’s name on her appointment list. “Philip Lester, here you are. 2:00 p.m. Huh. Head back down this hall and go in the second door on your left.”

“Thank you.” Phil walked down the hall as instructed. Once he reached the second door, he felt extremely nervous. He turned the door knob and walked inside. Right away, he saw a huge set up for taking professional photos. There was the whole shoot and match of a white background, black umbrellas to direct light, a pretty model posing, and Dan stood in front of her taking pictures at a rapid pace.

Dan finished taking pictures, and then turned his attention to Phil. “Ah! Phil, I’m glad you made it. Come on over here.”

“So this is him,” said a man that was stood next to Dan.

“This is him. Phil, this is my manager, PJ. PJ, this is London’s next top model.”

Phil couldn’t help but to chuckle as he shook PJ’s hand. “Well, I don’t know about that, but I am here for a trial shoot.”

“Right,” said Dan as he set his camera down on a nearby table. “Okay, do me a favor and stand over in the light.” Phil walked over and stood where Dan’s other model had previously been. Dan walked back and forth, looking at Phil from various angles. “Good. Follow me.” Dan led Phil over to hair and makeup. “Keep his hair the way it is, but just add some product so he’s not too shiny.”

The stylists felt strange being instructed not to do much to a model. They added hair product so the natural sheen to Phil’s hair would stand out, and they powdered his face to keep the shine off; that was all.

“Phil, come here please,” instructed Dan. Phil approached Dan and stood in place, waiting to be rejected or something. “Perfect. Now, wardrobe.” Dan gestured for Phil to follow him again. They walked into a back room filled with outfits. It seemed to go on forever to Phil. “Tyler, I have a new project for you.”

A man with glasses and bright blue hair walked over to Dan and Phil. “Ooo what do you have for me, Dan?” he asked.

“Phil, this is Tyler, my fashionista that I don’t know what I would do without. Tyler, this is Phil,” Dan introduced Tyler and Phil to each other. Tyler and Phil shook hands.

“Aren’t you a tall drink of water,” said Tyler slightly flirtatious. “Gorgeous. Oh, I can’t wait to play around. What are you thinking for him, Dan?”

“I’m thinking we start with either graphic tee-shirts or plaid.”

“Ooo are you thinking what I’m thinking? For the new X-box advert?”

“This is why I love you, Tyler.”

Phil stood completely lost and confused as Dan and Tyler babbled about how to dress him. Eventually, Tyler unwrapped the measuring tape that was around his neck, and started measuring every inch of Phil.

“Alright,” said Tyler to himself as finished measuring Phil. “I’ve got it.”

“Wow me, baby,” said Dan as slapped Tyler’s ass. Tyler put on a faux show of fainting and made his way into a room stocked with different clothes. Phil stood awkwardly, not sure if he should feel uncomfortable or scared.

Tyler came back a few minutes later with the clothes. He put the clothes in Phil’s arms. “Alright, big boy, go get changed and then let’s see. Just leave your clothes in the dressing room.”

“O-Okay,” stuttered Phil. “Um.” Tyler pointed to the changing rooms. “Thank you…” Phil went into the dressing room and changed as quickly as he could. He walked out and was greeted by Dan and Tyler both gasping.

Tyler sighed, “I’ve done it again.”

“You’re brilliant, Tyler,” said Dan.

 _I’m wearing a shirt with a Gengar on it, a black leather jacket, and skinny jeans,_ thought Phil. _How hard was this to put together?_

Dan and Phil walked out into the room and Phil took his place to be photographed. Dan looked at Phil through the lens, and his breath was already being taken. Phil wasn’t entirely sure what to do, so he simply smiled.

“Alright, now put one hand in your jeans pocket leaving your thumb out,” instructed Dan. Phil did as told with his right hand. “Perfect, perfect, and I need you to turn to your right just ever so slightly.” Once again, Phil followed Dan’s commands. “I love it. Smile for me.” Phil smiled, and Dan took the first picture. Dan could already see the perfectly captured image now. “I need a smirk.”

“Show me annoyed.”

“Pissed off at a game but not wanting anyone to know.”

“Give me a look that says ‘you know you want this’.”

Surprisingly, Phil was able to deliver each pose and expression with ease. Dan was pleased. He had chosen another natural. He took picture after picture. Each time the camera flashed, Phil worried that the picture had come out poorly, but Dan _knew_ it was going to be absolutely flawless.

After taking several photos, Dan allowed Phil to take a break. Phil wasn’t entirely sure why he needed a break, but regardless he walked over to a set of chairs and tables and sat down. Dan joined him at the table soon after, holding his camera. He was doing his best to conceal his child-like excitement.

“You should take a look at these,” he said as he was sifting through the pictures, deleting the very rare ones that didn’t come out as well as the others. “You look sexy in that jacket.”

Phil felt blood rush to his cheeks and he cursed his painfully pale complexion. “O-Oh, I don’t know.”

“Trust me; look.” Dan handed Phil his camera and showed him how to scroll through the photos. Phil began to slowly glide through the pictures, wondering what was so special. Sure, he looked a bit better than usual, but he still just felt like a geek, just with better clothes. “You look so hot in these pictures.”

“Uh,” Phil chuckled, his face burning even more. “Thank you.”

“That’s all the time I have today for this shoot, but just fill out this form,” Dan handed Phil a form that he had prepared. “I’ll send you a check for the money, and I’ll let you know what happens.”

“What happens?”

Dan smirked just ever so slightly, “If we decide we want to work with you, I’ll let you know. Trust me, if you work for me, you won’t be mixing drinks for white bitches anymore.” Phil was speechless. He couldn’t think of what to say, nor did he think he would be able to say anything. He simply nodded his head yes. Dan winked.

“Mhm,” was all that came out of Phil’s mouth. Dan got up and walked back into the back room. Phil quickly filled out the form and left it in its place on the table. He then followed Dan into the back room and stepped into the changing room with his old clothes. He felt slightly awkward changing back into a plain blue shirt and jeans. Looking in the mirror, he felt boring now.

Phil left the room, clothes in hand. He searched the room until he spotted Tyler. Walking over, he extended his arms. “Um, these belong to you…guys.”

“Thank you,” sang Tyler taking the clothes from Phil. “I hope we see more of you around here.”

“So do I,” Dan chimed in with a devilish grin. “We’ll see you later.”

“B-bye,” Phil wanted to smack himself for stuttering _again._ He quickly fled, leaving the building and heading home.

Tyler turned to Dan, “Do you think we’ll get to work with him more?” he asked excitedly.

Dan bit his bottom lip. “Oh I hope so.” He pulled up more pictures on his camera, gazing down at the images. “As of right now, I’m envious of my fucking camera.  After all, it has him inside of it.”


	3. Chapter 3

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 3:

Phil was sat on his couch watching his evening programs of anime. His cat was curled up on his lap, purring in its sleep, so he kept Kleenex nearby for his constant sneezing. Despite his allergies, he could never get rid of his precious kitty.

He was running the day’s events through his mind. The flash of the camera, the awkward poses, and Dan’s…well, everything. Phil had to admit that he definitely got choked up around Dan. The man was absolutely gorgeous. Even he had to accept that Dan’s confidence was a huge turn on, and it definitely helped that Dan made it known that he was incredibly gay.

After turning off the TV and getting ready for bed, Phil couldn’t resist the urge to see if Dan had contacted him in any way yet. He felt ridiculous as he sat down and opened up is laptop. Sheesh, he was an idiot. There was no way Dan had—oh. Phil spotted a new email from “Daniel Howell”. He hesitated, wondering if it was worth it to check right away or just leave it for the morning. His curiosity got the better of him and he opened the email.

**Dan:**

**I sent the pictures to the big bosses, and they loved them. If you’re interested in modeling for the company full time, let me know and we’ll meet to discuss your contract.**

**-Daniel**

Phil’s heart raced. There was no way that they actually wanted him. Why would they? He was just a slim dork that was trying to pay back the student debt that he had accumulated getting an English degree that he never used. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair, wondering what he should do. His fingers gently brushed the keys on his laptop as he thought of what he could say. He couldn’t do modeling…he wasn’t a model…it was a mistake…

**Phil:**

**I’m definitely interested in working full time with your company. Please let me know when would be a convenient time to meet.**

**Thank you very much.**

**-Philip**

Phil wanted to slap himself the second he heard the familiar “whoosh” sound come from his computer. What had he just done? Was he mad? He had to be insane! He couldn’t possibly—shit. His thoughts were interrupted by his computer making a sound that alerted him that there was a new email in his inbox. He quickly opened it, wondering what his consequences were going to be.

**Dan:**

**If you’re free tomorrow, I’m available after 5:00 p.m. What time is good for you?**

**-Daniel**

Phil quickly emailed Dan back, his heart slamming against his chest.

**Phil:**

**How’s 6:00 p.m.?**

**-Philip**

Dan’s response was almost instant, making Phil start to feel sick.

**Dan:**

**6:00 p.m. is perfect. Shall we discuss things over dinner? My treat.**

**-Daniel**

**Phil:**

**That sounds very nice. Thank you so much.**

**-Philip**

**Dan:**

**Wonderful. Meet me at Hutong at 6:00 p.m.**

**-Daniel**

Phil waited a moment before responding. He quickly Googled “Hutong restaurant”, as he had never heard of the place. His eyes widened when he was greeted by a very expensive Chinese restaurant. He looked at the pictures on Google Images and his stomach flipped completely over. The restaurant was candle lit and had a view of London that he couldn’t believe.

As he read the reviews, he quickly learned that you needed a reservation at _least_ three months in advance, leading to a lot of confusion.

**Phil:**

**I just looked at the restaurant online. How are we going to get in? It says you need a reservation.**

**-Philip**

Phil secretly hoped that Dan had simply forgotten that detail and would choose another restaurant. It seemed to him that discussing his modeling career might be a little awkward in a candle lit restaurant that according to reviews was “ideal for dates”.

**Dan:**

**You don’t need to worry about that. All you need to do is arrive on time. See you then.**

**-Daniel**

Closing his laptop, Phil decided to leave any further responses until morning. His brain was in a fuzz, trying to process what had just happened. Had he honestly agreed to discuss a modeling career? Had he honestly agreed to discuss it in a four star candle lit restaurant? He shook his head. There was something about Dan’s attitude that seemed to hypnotize him. The way Dan had stated in his email “see you soon” like he was expecting Phil to just take his word for it and show up. Phil couldn’t help but to feel slightly aroused.

He smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. He needed to take a cold shower and knock some sense into himself. Getting up, he did exactly that, except it seemed that nothing made sense. It was perfectly fine to find Dan attractive, who wouldn’t? However, he knew better. Dan wasn’t the dating type. That bit was rather obvious.

After his shower, Phil changed into comfortable sleepwear and got into bed. He hoped that he could just drift, but his mind was racing. He wasn’t sure how long it took to fall asleep, but he knew that he was going to be very tired the next day.

***

Phil was working his shift at Starbucks the next day. He was running around frantically, trying to get the last few drinks of the afternoon rush out of the way. Thankfully the rush went away as fast as it came, yet it always seemed to last forever. He and his coworkers had made a game of counting how many basic white girls would come in at the same time in hoards. Sometimes the baristas wished they could have alcohol on the job. Someone had made the joke, “Every time they pronounce ‘chia’ wrong, we take a shot.”

Phil took a moment to catch his breath now that there were no drinks being ordered. As if the universe sensed that he had a moment, his phone sounded in his pocket. The managers weren’t around, so it was safe to check. He pulled out his phone and saw there was a new email from Dan. His eyes widened and shifted around the room. The overwhelming sensation of someone looking over his shoulder was making him unnecessarily cautious.

**Dan:**

**I almost forgot. You’re going to need wear something formal for the venue I’ve selected.**

**-Daniel**

Phil’s expression dropped. The closest thing he had to “formal” was his white button up shirt. He didn’t even own a basic tie; he had no use for it.

**Phil:**

**This is awkward. I don’t have anything formal. I apologize.**

**-Philip**

Looking around the room, Phil realized that no one was paying attention to what he was doing, so he let his shoulders drop. He exhaled deeply, trying to chill out. Then his phone sounded, and his efforts were proven to be in vain.

**Dan:**

**Stop by the studio at 5:45 p.m. See you then.**

**-Daniel**

_He did it again…_ thought Phil. Dan had just inferred that he would simply agree. He sighed as he stuffed his phone in his pocket, not bothering to respond. Looking up at the clock, he saw it was already 4:13 p.m. He didn’t have much time before judgement day would arrive.

Phil’s shift ended at 5:30 p.m., so he swiftly made his way to the underground, praying he’d make it to the studio in time. He took off his apron and hat on the way there, not really wanting to walk around in his work uniform like an absolute dork.

He arrived at the studio at 5:43 p.m. Running, he jolted into the building, fear of being late. He approached the front desk.

“Excuse me,” he took a breath, “I—!”

“Phil,” Dan’s voice cut him off. Phil looked up to meet Dan’s eyes and instantly regretted it. His breath caught, as if it had been punched right out of him. Dan was wearing a _very_ nice tuxedo. It had silver trimming along the inside flap of the jacket, and judging from the way it clung to his body perfectly, Phil was sure it was safe to assume that Dan had it custom made. “You’re right on time,” Dan’s voice snapped Phil back into reality. “Tyler’s got your attire in the back.”

Phil nodded and walked past Dan as fast as he could, hoping if he did he’d be able to start breathing right again. He walked into the back room and greeted by Tyler, who was holding up a tuxedo.

“This is yours,” informed Tyler handing off the clothes to Phil. “If this goes well,” he patted the tux, “this is just a taste of what you’ll get.”

Phil chuckled, “I assumed I’d get to borrow more clothes, as I would need them.”

“No, no,” Tyler smirked. “You get to keep it.”

“What?” Phil’s mouth dropped open. “B-But this is—!”

Tyler giggled, “You didn’t hear it from me. Hurry! Go get changed.” He pushed Phil into a changing room and closed the door. “Leave your clothes in there; I’ll take care of it.”

Phil was trying to process what was happening as he changed into the tuxedo. Eventually he gave up on trying to understand. It would only be an issue if he agreed to model full time anyway. He stepped out of the changing room and was met with Tyler right in front of him.

“Stand still,” said Tyler holding up a spray bottle. Phil froze, more afraid than obedient. Tyler sprayed him twice with cologne and then switched bottles. “Mouth, open,” he instructed. Phil looked at him like he was insane, keeping his mouth firmly closed. “It’s a mint spray; calm down and do it.” Phil hesitantly opened his mouth and almost gagged with Tyler sprayed in the substance. “Oh man up. It’s not that bad. Alright, you’re good to go!”

“You sure?” asked Phil in a slightly condescending tone.

Tyler gave him a playful look, “Watch it, big boy. I’m the sassy one here.”

“Well, if I decide to work here, you may have some competition.” Phil winked and then walked away.

Tyler bit his lower lip watching Phil walk away. “Yes, _please_.” Phil shut his eyes tightly and stifled a laugh as he continued to make his way out. He arrived by the front desk and approached Dan.

“Ready?” asked Dan. Phil nodded his head, still a little nervous to speak. It turns out that emailing was a _lot_ easier. “Perfect.”

“Are we taking the underground?”

Dan chuckled, “No. We’re taking my car. Come on.” He led Phil outside to his limousine, which had Phil staring at in awe. “She’s pretty isn’t she?” A chauffer opened up the door for them and Dan stepped into the vehicle. Phil followed after him, still in a daze. “Warren, set up your GPS for Hutong, please.”

“Yes, sir,” replied Warren.

Phil sat in his seat looking around like a lost child. It was official. He had no idea what kind of ride he had gotten on, and he loved it.


	4. Chapter 4

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 4:

Dan and Phil arrived at Hutong after a short ride. They walked inside, and Phil felt a little awkward. It seemed the place was a homing beacon for couples. Also, he wondered how Dan was going to manage to get them in.

Dan walked up to the maître d', “Daniel Howell; I called last night.” He smiled at her.

“Right this way,” she replied. Dan turned to Phil and smirked. He walked ahead, following the maître d'. Phil started after Dan. He had to admit, he was impressed.

After Dan and Phil were situated at their table, they were served wine that Dan had chosen ahead of time. Phil picked up his glass and observed the drink, hoping he’d like it so he wouldn’t seem rude.

“Thank you for this,” said Phil. He took a sip of wine was delighted to discover it was sweet. He instantly felt warm. “This is incredibly kind.”

Dan held up his glass of wine and smiled. “It’s my pleasure.” He sipped his wine. Setting his glass down, he dipped his finger in the wine. “What do you say we start discussing your career?” He ran his wet finger along the rim of the glass, creating a humming sound.

“I’d say so. Though, I do wonder what exactly what there is to discuss that would require such a formal meeting.” Phil was thankful for the wine. He was able to relax, so his confidence was finally surfacing. It was a surprise to Dan, but he liked it.

“Well, as you may know my company allows me to approach my work very differently than most photographers. For example, I pick my models. No one else does. And I have some very…fastidious requirements for my models.”

Phil raised his eyebrow in curiosity. “Fastidious requirements? Such as?”

“My contracts are very meticulous. I make sure that my models are in perfect condition.”

“And how do you manage that?”

“I manage it by making sure they follow certain diets, exercise routines, things like that. Normally the rule is just to maintain a certain weight and physique, but I’m more meticulous than that.” Phil laughed in response to Dan’s statement. Now it was Dan’s turn to raise his eyebrow. “Is something funny?”

Phil stopped his laughter and took another sip of wine. “It just sounds rather Fifty Shades of Grey.” He chuckled again.

Dan rolled his eyes. “That god awful movie is a poor example of any type of business agreement. My contract doesn’t ask of you to spread yourself on a bed for my enjoyment.” He smirked and sank his teeth into his lower lip. “Of course any,” he paused, allowing his eyes to graze over Phil agonizingly slowly while his lips were slightly parted, “recreational activities as such are open for discussion outside your modeling contract.” He nearly had to catch his breath. Phil was already _gorgeous,_ but in that suit, fuck.

Phil now felt extremely grateful that the candles were the only light at their table. He was certain that his entire face was shining bright red. “The movie wasn’t _that_ bad,” he attempted to change the subject before his face could burn anymore.

“I can’t believe you saw it,” remarked Dan in a playful but snarky tone.

“To be fair, I was drug to it by my ex.”

Dan made an “hm” sound. “Ex-girlfriend? Boyfriend?” he inquired.

“Girlfriend.” Dan almost looked disappointed. Phil allowed a smirk to form on his lips. “Although, I blame that relationship ending on my ex-boyfriend. He didn’t like her one bit.”

Dan’s lips curled into a mischievous smile. “I see. Well, back to the previous conversation. Are you interested?”

Phil took another swig of wine before responding. “Let’s say I was. What would happen?”

“You would need to be prepared to quit your current job. Not yet, of course, but it’s highly possible. You’d start with some basic shoots, adverts most likely. However, I travel a lot. Whichever model is doing the best, bringing in the most money, and getting my company the most attention, is who I will take to travel with me. If that happens to be you, that’s when you’d need to quit your job.”

“Ty-Someone mentioned keeping the clothes I model in. Now, that doesn’t matter to me, but it does make me wonder if there’s a reason behind it.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “Tyler just can’t keep his mouth shut can he? I allow my models to keep clothes from shoots because, obviously, we won’t be using those clothes _again._ It’s simply a token of my gratitude. I wouldn’t be where I am without my models, now would I?”

“I suppose not. Though, I feel as if someone like you has a dirty secret to your success that doesn’t simply come from picking beautiful people.”

“I have my ways, but my methods aren’t for sale.”

Phil was starting to regret drinking most of the wine so quickly. He tended to be a little less careful with his words once he was tipsy. “I bet I could get you talk someday.”

“Try me,” Dan replied in a whisper, his eyes slightly hooded and the tip of his tongue resting on his bottom row of teeth. He stared at Phil, and Phil stared back. Neither of them batted an eye. However, both of them noticed the small gestures and body language. Phil curled his fingers on the table, and Dan quickly ran his tongue over his lips.

“What can I get for you gentlemen this evening?” asked a waitress as she approached. She stood awkwardly, knowing she had probably interrupted something.

“I’ll have the special,” said Dan not taking his eyes off of Phil.

Phil’s gaze remained on Dan as well. “I’ll have what he’s having.”

The waitress made a “mhm” sound and quickly left, somehow managing to feel like a third wheel despite just being a sever.

“So,” Dan ran his finger along the rim of the wine glass again, “what do you say?”

The humming sound from the glass made it to Phil’s ears, and he almost felt hypnotized as he watched Dan’s every move. He held up his glass, “I need to look it over, but I can almost promise I’ll sign.” Dan tapped his glass against Phil’s and they both took a small sip. He smirked seeing Phil’s cheeks looking so warm. Something told him it wasn’t just the wine.

Casual conversation bounced back and forth between Dan and Phil as they enjoyed their meal. Both of them were tipsy, so neither of them were thinking very clearly. Phil could feel his judgement slipping, so he didn’t want to drink anymore. However, once more was poured in his glass, he found it hard to resist. Dan also started on his second glass.

Dinner came to a close, and both men had finished their second glass of wine, and little bit of a third. Dan paid the bill, and he and Phil walked out to the limousine. They arrived at the studio so Phil could get his contract and get things moving as fast as possible.

Dan led Phil into his office that was towards the back of the studio. He pulled out the contract and handed it to Phil. “Look it over, and then let me know.”

“I will,” stated Phil. He then made the mistake of looking up at Dan. The room was only lit by the small lamp on Dan’s desk. Phil couldn’t help but to notice that dim light seemed to highlight all of the perfect rounded edges to Dan’s face. Dan’s face wasn’t a baby face by any means, but it was so soft. “I u-uh,” Phil stuttered. I should go home. May I phone a cab? My phone battery is dead.”

“Sure,” said Dan smoothly as he took out his phone. He entered the passcode and handed it to Phil.

Phil quickly called for a cab. Once he was done, he handed Dan back his cell phone. “It’ll be about ten minutes at most.”

“Well,” Dan smirked as he leaned on his desk, placing his hands on either side of his body and onto the wooden surface, “I’ll keep you company.”

“I’d like that,” replied Phil. He leaned his back against a wall, hooking his thumbs into his pants pockets. That’s when Dan couldn’t take it anymore.

Dan got up from his desk and approached Phil. He placed one hand above Phil’s head, pressing it to the wall. Phil responded by straightening his stance, bringing himself to his real height, which was still just a pinch shorter than Dan. Phil eyes had to just barely flick up, as he and Dan were mere inches apart. They said nothing for a moment, and then Dan’s hands flew to Phil’s neck as he pulled him in for a kiss. Phil responded by grabbing Dan’s waist, pulling the younger man closer.

He hooked his fingers onto the belt loops of Dan’s pants, keeping a firm grip. Dan swiped his tongue along Phil’s bottom lip, begging for an entrance. Phil reacted by granting Dan access, but he pushed Dan’s tongue aside with his own and began to explore. Dan let a quiet moan escape his throat as he pushed his hips against Phil’s, pressing him against the wall tightly. He reached around and started tugging at Phil’s hair with his right hand. With his left hand, he yanked up the hem of Phil’s shirt and snaked his hand up the older man’s back, letting his fingers dance across Phil’s skin.

He roughly pushed Phil’s tongue aside with his own and took control of the kiss. Grabbing at Phil’s back, he pulled him as close as they could be. It was Phil’s turn to let a small moan out from his throat. Dan thought he was going to go crazy. Phil’s sounds were so deep and rough, he just wanted to strip him down right now. Phil kept his grip on Dan’s pants and rubbed their growing erections together, giving them both the friction they desperately needed. Dan let go of Phil’s back and brought his hand to the button of Phil’s pants. He started to work, but then a car horn snapped them both out of their trances.

“That’s the um, that’s the cab,” stated Phil as he awkwardly fixed the button and re-tucked his shirt.

Dan turned away from Phil, “Right,” he said as he grabbed the contract from the desk. “You can keep the suit, and I’ll have your clothes sent to you. And the check for the thousand pounds.” He took a deep, quiet breath. _Shit._ No. No, it was okay. Phil wasn’t technically his model yet. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He handed the contract to Phil and smiled. “I hope you sign.”

Phil let out a breath, failing at trying to catch it. “I’m sure I will. I’ll see you soon.” He left the building and got into the cab, leaving Dan to sit at his desk and run his fingers through his hair. Dan placed his face into his hands and let out a sound of pure frustration. He wanted to slap himself across the face. How could he have been so careless? He knows the rules. However, breaking the rules was just the bad part. The worst part was that for the first time, he had kissed someone, and he felt something.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you guys start this, I just want to say that I've been DYING to post this one! I had so much fun writing this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 5:

Phil awoke midday, feeling like absolute hell. He lifted his head and realized that he had passed out on his couch. Rolling over to lay on his back, he groaned and cursed himself for having too much to drink. He then found himself struggling to remember what had happened the previous night. His state of grogginess made the events fuzzy. Tracing back to the afternoon, he tried to play everything back. He went to the studio, got a tux, went to dinner, had too much to drink, went to Dan’s office to get the contract, and then he… _Oh. Shit._

He then remembered exactly what had happened. Drunken and horny, he had reciprocated Dan’s kiss, allowing himself to be pushed against a wall and felt up. He wasn’t sure what he was more upset about, the fact that he reciprocated in his intoxicated state, or the fact that he remembered enjoying it. By no means could he be mad at Dan. Neither of them had been thinking clearly. Besides, it’s not like he said no; he…shoved his tongue in Dan’s mouth.

Slowly sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, pressing the bottom of his hands to his cheeks. “I’m such an idiot…” he mumbled. His cat meowed in response rather angrily. “Oh shut up, Zander, you have no place to judge.” Zander scurried into the kitchen and started pawing at his food bowl, making an awful sound from claws scratching metal. Phil huffed. “Yup, I’m definitely an idiot. Yes, Phil, your cat is judging you. God…”

He got up from the couch and poured food into Zander’s dish. After washing his hands, his sifted through his medicine cabinet, looking for the Advil. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and swallowed three pills. He silently prayed that the medicine would kick in soon.

After having a small breakfast, he remembered the contract. Luckily, he had managed to place it on the coffee table before crashing. He started to read it over, looking for anything that he might not want to do. As time passed, he found that there was literally nothing that he wasn’t okay with. He wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

***

_RING. RING. RING._

Dan’s cell phone rudely woke him up. He sat up in bed and grabbed it from his bedside table. “Hello?” he questioned groggily.

“Well you sound like hell,” said Tyler through a laugh. “Hangover?”

“I’m surprised there isn’t a pile of vomit somewhere in my bedroom,” mumbled Dan glancing at his alarm clock. 1:23 p.m. Thank the Lord it was Saturday.

“That’s quite a visual.” Tyler smirked. “Is there anything or any _one_ else in your bedroom?”

Dan rolled his eyes, “I didn’t take him home Tyler. We just—.” He stopped. Shit. It was too late. He could already hear Tyler gasp on the other end.

“You what?”

“Nothing.”

“Bitch, tell me!”

“Only if you bring me food and that concoction of a drink that you make that somehow cures hangovers.”

“Be there in twenty,” Tyler hung up.

Dan huffed and lay back down in bed staring at the ceiling. Despite having been drunk, he remembered everything clearly, maybe a little too clearly. At least, he remembered the kiss clearly. The conversation he had with Phil at dinner was a bit cloudy, but dear Lord that _kiss._ He remembered every movement, every touch, every feeling, both physical and emotional. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such uncontrollable desire. However, that was the problem. It wasn’t _just_ that.

A lot what happened was driven by pure, gut wrenching lust. Every moment at the restaurant was torture, having to hold back everything that was burning him inside. So when they got to his office, he couldn’t control himself anymore, but when their bodies collided and intertwined, something happened. He wasn’t entirely sure what happened. His heart had raced, which was inevitable, but there was a warm feeling in his stomach as well. He had felt something coming to life, and he wanted that feeling again more than anything.

He shook his head. Whatever it was, he couldn’t have it. Phil was probably going to sign the contract, and once he did, any and all involvement between them could never be. Dan’s heart sank at the thought, but he did his best to shake it off. He had been drunk, so if there was a feeling in stomach, it was probably just him trying not to throw up.

There was a knock at his door, and he was relieved until he realized that Tyler wasn’t going to let him go without explaining. He opened the door. “Hi,” he grabbed the McDonald’s bag and drink, and he went to close the door, “bye.”

Tyler stopped the door with his foot and hand, “Ohhhh no, no, no, no. I don’t think so.” He walked into Dan’s house and snagged the McDonald’s bag. “First, this isn’t all for you, bitch. Second, I want every detail if you want to see even a single chicken nugget.”

Dan threw his head back in frustration, “Tyler, I just want to sleep and forget everything.”

“Was it that good? No, start from the beginning.” Tyler sat down on Dan’s couch and started unloading the food onto the coffee table. “Start talking,” he mumbled through a mouthful of chicken.

Dan rolled his eyes as he sat down. He chugged several sips of the drink, making a disgusted face afterwards. The drink was gross, but it practically murdered hangovers. ”Okay, so I took him to Hutong to discuss his modeling contract.”

“Isn’t that place candle lit?” Tyler smirked.

“Shut up. We talked, which was nice. I don’t remember much of the conversation though. We both got way too drunk.”

“Sheesh, how much did you have?”

Dan had to think for a moment, but eventually he recalled how much wine he had drank. “We each had two and half glasses of wine. I guess he drinks about as often as I do, which is hardly ever, because he was just as bad off as I was.”

“You both are fucking _lightweights_!” Tyler laughed. Dan shot him a look, so he moved on before he got slapped. “Okay, so what happened after dinner?” he started drinking his soda, eying Dan suspiciously.

“I had Warren take us back to the studio. We went into my office so I could give him the contract so he could look it over. He called a cab and then we, we, we…we…”

Tyler nearly spit out his soda. “Holy shit! Who topped?”

Now it was Dan’s turn to choke on his drink. The strange mixture dribbled down his chin, which he attempted and failed to catch with his hand. “We didn’t have sex, you idiot!” He grabbed a handful of napkins and wiped his face and sweat pants. He was suddenly impressed that he had remembered to change into sleepwear. “We just kissed.”

“Okay, but here’s the thing,” Tyler set his drink down. Dan knew he was in trouble. Once Tyler set his drink down, nothing was going to slip by him. “Was it a kiss like a peck, or was it like a kiss where maybe you cupped his face, _or_ was it a _kiss_? And I mean a _kiss_. I’m talking an ass grabbing, hair pulling, wall pressing kiss.”

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose, “I didn’t need those visuals from _you._ But…” he looked up at Tyler, “the last one…”

Tyler jumped in his seat. “I KNEW IT!” he screamed out for the whole neighborhood to hear. He burst into a very happy laughter. “I knew it! Mother fucker! Oh…” He then had a terrible realization. “But if he signs the contract and starts working for the company—.”

“Then nothing can ever happen between us. Do you now see why I just want to forget it happened? If I’m lucky he was drunk enough that he won’t remember it.”

“Well,” Tyler began. “I mean you could always—.”

Dan shook his head, “Tyler, no. I can’t break that rule. It’s bad for the company if people ever found out. It looks unprofessional and it could ruin my career.”

“Just hear me out. You’re really only breaking a rule if you get caught. Just don’t get caught. Don’t be affectionate in public, and don’t hook up in the coat closet. I don’t see what’s so hard about that.” Tyler opened another container of chicken and tore open a pack of sauce. “If you ask me you’re just being difficult.”

Dan sighed. “Tyler, I don’t want a relationship that I’d have to hide so deeply.”

Tyler turned and looked at Dan with wide eyes. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up, slow down grab the wall. I’m sorry; I thought you just said the word ‘relationship’. The last time I checked, Daniel Howell didn’t have time for relationships.”

“I mean…um…” Dan suddenly realized what he had said, and he knew he couldn’t take it back. “Shut up. It’s something that would be too messy and difficult. It was just a kiss, albeit…a really, _really_ hot kiss.”

“Alright, I’m just reminding you that it’s an option. Besides, you’d be doing everyone in the studio a public service by fucking each other in secret. I thought I was going to choke on the tension from his trial shoot.”

Dan lightly shoved Tyler, “Oh shut it. It wasn’t that bad.”

Tyler just shot Dan a look. “It wasn’t that bad? Bitch, if you eye fucked him any harder _I_ was going to end up pregnant.” Dan threw a chicken nugget at Tyler, which bounced off of Tyler’s glasses. Tyler glared at Dan and took off his glasses. “Don’t hate the player, hate the sexy nerd that you just _had_ to have.”

“If you wake up tomorrow in hell, just know that I was the one that killed you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tyler started rubbing the smudged lens on his shirt, “and I’ll make sure to haunt you while you’re banging Phil at his apartment, because you wouldn’t be stupid enough to come here.”

Dan brought his hands up as if he was going to choke Tyler. “I am _literally_ going to stab you.”

Tyler put on his glasses and blinked a few times, as if making sure he could actually see. “I’m not the one you need to be poking something at.”

“You know, I can find another fashionista to dress my models.”

Tyler’s jaw dropped. “Hashtag rude. And mother fucker, you could never find another person with my sense of style. Please.” He rolled his eyes.

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, boo.”

Dan lay back on his couch, finishing off the drink and praying his headache would end soon. “In all seriousness, the reason I’m so frustrated is because…”

“Because?” Tyler inquired.

“Because…I think I felt something…when I kissed him. I don’t know. It was like…it was like I wanted more than just to kiss him. It felt like something more than just being horny and drunk.”

Tyler sighed and shook his head. “Oh boy, you’re in trouble.”

“How much trouble?”

“Do you remember when Rachel thought she was over Ross, but then he started dating Emilie?”

“Yeah.”

“Rachel probably had her shit together better than you do right now.” Tyler laughed.

“Oh, gee, thanks for that.”

Tyler patted Dan on the shoulder. “It’s alright, hun. I will be there when you need someone to burn the sheets.”

“I’m going to murder you while you sleep.”

“My point is, no matter what happens you know I have your back, right? Whether it’s to listen, keep the press off your back, or recommend a sex shop, I’m your guy.”

“I’m never certain if I want to thank you or punch you.”

Tyler laughed, which due to its contagious nature, ultimately earned a laugh from Dan. Their laughter was cut short when Dan’s phone sounded. Dan picked up his phone and instantly looked afraid.

“What’s wrong?” asked Tyler nervously.

Dan set his phone down, not quite ready to deal with what was in front of him. “It’s an email from Phil, subject ‘Contract’.”

Tyler leaned back in seat and sighed. “Oh shit.”


	6. Chapter 6

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 6:

Dan shoved his phone into Tyler’s hands. “You check it.” Tyler rolled his eyes and gave Dan a look as if telling him he was being ridiculous. “Please? I don’t even really want to know what it says right now.” Tyler huffed and grabbed Dan’s phone, unlocking it with ease. “Wait how do you know my passcode?”

“Hush,” said Tyler as he opened the email.

**Phil:**

**I read over the contract, and there’s nothing I can find that I wouldn’t agree to. When can we meet up so I can sign it and get things moving?**

**-Philip**

“Dammit!” shouted Dan as he snagged his phone. “Dammit! Shit, god damn shit! Fuck!”

Tyler raised his hands and leaned away from Dan. “Okay, you need to calm the hell down. Just tell him something went wrong and you can’t hire him.”

“I’m not going to do that! Fuck!” Dan angrily typed on his phone, responding to Phil’s message.

**Dan:**

**Anytime tomorrow is good for me. How about we meet at Regency?**

**-Daniel**

Dan set his phone down and huffed. He ran his hands over his face and into his hair, mentally threatening to pull his hair out. Tyler snatched his phone and read the email.

“A café? Really? Why don’t you just meet at the studio?” he asked with a suspicious eyebrow raised.

Dan groaned in response. “Because the last time I took him to the studio to discuss business I tried taking his pants off.”

Tyler burst out laughing. “I mean, that’s true. It’s probably a good idea to meet in public.”

Dan’s phone sounded, and he grabbed it, wishing he could just throw it out a window.

**Phil:**

**That sounds good. How’s 11:00 a.m.?**

**-Philip**

**Dan:**

**11:00 a.m. is perfect. See you then.**

**-Daniel**

Dan tossed his phone onto the other couch grabbed a pillow, pressing it to his face. “Do me a favor and suffocate me.”

Tyler shook his head. “Oh this is great. And I have the honor of watching it play out every time he’s at the studio.”

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry ‘bout it!” sassed Tyler.

“I wonder if I can kill myself and make it look like an accident by tomorrow.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Man up. You’re going to go to that café, you’re going to let him sign his contract, and then you’re going to handle it like a fucking man.”

Dan allowed himself to fall over so that he was laying on the couch with his legs dangling over the edge. “Shut up.”

“Just deal already.” Tyler began eating the leftover sauce out of the container with his finger. “I don’t see the problem. You’ll get to be around him all the time.”

Dan sat up, “Tyler. Do you remember when Connor was around all the time?”

Tyler let out a sexually frustrated groan. “Fuck, do I? I hope he renews his contract. I need that baby boy back in the studio.”

“Ah!” Dan snapped his fingers. “But! You couldn’t have him because of his boyfriend, yet everyone knew he wanted you too.”

Tyler stared at Dan with a sauce covered finger hanging out of his mouth. “Uh huh…your point?”

“My point is, wasn’t it the worst thing not being able to have him?”

“Well,” Tyler thought back to Connor. He sighed, “I mean it was rough, but seeing that boy all the time, worth it.”

Dan allowed his eyelids to droop in annoyance. “You know, if you could be helpful once in a while that would be great.”

“Headache?”

“What head—I hate you.” Dan got up from the couch and sauntered into the kitchen to look for something to drink. “Well, I have less than 24 hours to get it together.”

“Goooood luck, my friend,” Tyler licked off the last of sauce off of his finger as he laughed. “Good fucking luck.”

***

Dan looked in the mirror and began to fix his fringe. He sighed heavily, dreading the hours that were to come. Phil was going to be meeting him to sign his contract, and he prayed that the kiss wasn’t mentioned for even a moment. He just wanted to forget it. As long as the kiss wasn’t brought up, everything was going to be fine. He glanced at the clock. 10:36 a.m. He needed to get going.

Once he arrived at the café, he checked his phone. 10:57 a.m. Okay, that was strange. He was on time. Actually, he was a few minutes early. Normally he was at least five minutes late unless it was an extremely important business meeting. He shook it off; it didn’t matter. Walking into the café, he made his way over to a table and sat down. At almost 11:00 a.m. on the dot, Phil walked into the building.

Phil walked over to Dan and smiled. “Hey,” he greeted.

Dan had no idea about the giant grin that appeared on his face. “Hey,” he greeted back. “Have a seat.” Phil sat down and set his bag off to the side. “So you’re ready to sign? I have to say I’m surprised. I wasn’t sure if I was able to convince you.”

“Well, you did. It seems like a good opportunity,” replied Phil with a shrug. _You were pretty convincing in a lot of ways._

“So, go ahead and bring it out if you have it,” Dan gestured to Phil’s bag.

“Oh! Right,” Phil rummaged in his bag until he found it. He set it on the table, trying not to show his anxiousness.

Dan explained a few details as he directed Phil where to sign and initial. It wasn’t long before everything was set. Dan smiled, despite part of him being extremely disappointed. “Perfect. I’ll call you as soon as we have a shoot set up for you. It should be by next week, possibly even sooner.”

“That sounds good.” Phil brought his hands to his lap. He could tell he was starting to get fidgety, and he didn’t want Dan to see. “So, how was yesterday for you? I don’t know about you, but I, um, I had a pretty bad hangover.” He hoped to god that he wouldn’t trip over his words too much like before.

Dan felt his heart rate pick up. Was Phil asking because he wondered if Dan remembered the kiss? Was he having trouble remembering what happened and hoping Dan would say something? Dan unconsciously licked his lips and tightened his fists, which he then placed on his lap. “I had a pretty bad hangover as well, but Tyler has this bizarre concoction of a drink that somehow makes them go away.”

Phil chuckled, “You’re lucky. I had to tough it out while popping Advil like candy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dan’s expression turned sympathetic. He suddenly felt bad that he didn’t do anything to help considering he had a cure for hangovers.

Phil shrugged, “Eh, that’s what I get for drinking too much. I’m a bit of a lightweight. I hardly ever drink. It’s honestly only when it’s offered or a special occasion. Other than that, not so much.”

“I’m the same way. Business, special occasions, dates,” Dan listed off reasons to drink, and then he realized that he had tacked on “dates” and instantly regretted it. Fuck. What if Phil took that the wrong way? It was killing him not knowing if Phil remembered the kiss or not. “U-Um, Phil?”

“Hm?” Phil thought he was going to vomit. Oh no. Dan was about to ask.

Dan swallowed back the bile that he felt building. “Do you by chance remember anything…happening…in my office the other night?”

Phil had no idea what to say. What if Dan didn’t fully remember and was looking for confirmation? What if he remembered everything and was hoping he did too? Or…what if he was hoping that he _didn’t_ remember anything…? “I remember getting the contract, but that’s it,” he lied, and he felt painfully guilty. It hit him hard when Dan’s expression dropped, looking almost defeated.

“Oh okay. I was just having trouble remembering some things, so I wanted to check. I hope I didn’t say anything stupid.” Dan felt incredibly stupid and hurt, and he had no idea why. Things like the other night weren’t supposed to affect him, ever. He shouldn’t be feeling upset. He should feel glad. Phil didn’t remember, thus there was nothing to address. Phil could just be another model without any complications.

Phil forced a smile, “Oh okay. I’m glad it’s nothing. And you didn’t say anything stupid.”

“Right, it was nothing,” Dan smiled as well, despite his emotions swimming in the opposite direction.

Dan and Phil ended up eating lunch at the café and staying for about two hours. They discussed various topics, both avoiding the other night’s events like the plague. Dan gave Phil a bit more information about how shoots work, that way Phil could follow through with ease, not worrying about leaving stuff around and knowing which makeup station to go to.

After a while, they both decided it was time to leave. They said a casual goodbye and went in opposite directions to head home.

***

Dan was lying in bed scrolling through his Instagram. He just wanted to sleep, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Despite constantly yawning and barely being able to keep his eyes open, he couldn’t seem to drift. He mindlessly scrolled, occasionally glancing at the time. 1:13 a.m. He sighed. Fuck. He had a lot of work the next day, including some important shoots.

He rested his phone against his chest, bored with his Instagram feed. Then, his phone sounded, letting him know that he had a new email. He sighed, knowing it was probably just spam. Turning his phone back on, he pulled up Gmail, and he thought he was going to be sick. It was from Phil, no subject. Despite not wanting to know, especially since he was trying to sleep, he reluctantly opened the email.

**Phil:**

**I honestly have no idea why I’m sending this to you, but I had to tell you the truth. I do remember what happened in your office. More specifically, I remember that kiss. I don’t know if it meant anything to you, but if it didn’t, don’t worry about it. We were both drunk.**

**-Philip**

Dan would have chucked his phone into a door in pure frustration had it not been his life source. He tossed it to his feet and ran his hands over his face, wanting to peel his skin off more than deal with the situation. More than anything, he wanted to know why he was having such a hard time dealing. He huffed. Okay, breathe. He reminded himself of the rules, and he reminded himself that it was a drunken, horny kiss. It didn’t mean anything. It was fine. Everything was fine. He grabbed his phone and began typing back a response.

**Dan:**

**Okay, I can understand why you didn’t want to talk about it. We were both smashed, which didn’t help anything. I don’t know what it meant to you either, and if you don’t want to address it, that’s fine.**

**-Daniel**

Dan hoped and prayed that Phil wouldn’t take it the wrong way. Then again, how did he want Phil to take it? Dammit.

**Phil:**

**Okay.**

**-Philip**

For a moment, Dan contemplated hitting his head against a wall. “Okay.”? “ _Okay_.”? OKAY?! What did okay mean? _Fuck it. It doesn’t matter. Either way you can’t have anything with him, so get over it. Go to sleep._ He mentally scolded himself before turning his phone onto do not disturb. Setting his phone off to the side, he and rolled over and attempted to calm down to sleep. However, he knew better. He wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep that night, not while he didn’t have answers. Not while he still had that stupid swirl in his stomach.


	7. Chapter 7

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 7:

The camera shuttered, and Dan felt at home. He was working on a bikini shoot for a magazine, so women were scattered amongst a beach style back drop, all of them holding different props. Some were posing to look as if they were about to lick or suck on an ice lolli, whilst others were holding beach balls and giggling. Dan was perfectly succeeding at taking pictures whilst the beach balls were flying through the air, making the pictures look even more realistic. Everything was going perfectly. Then, the door to the studio opened.

Dan turned his head to see who was coming into the room. His eyes landed on Phil, and he could already feel his entire being firing up. Phil was wearing black skinny jeans and a grey sweater that clung to his skin. Dan’s eyes raked all over Phil but ended up landing on Phil’s lips. God, he wanted to bite that lip.

“Mr. Howell?” chirped one of the models. Dan turned his attention back to the girls, realizing that he probably had been off in lala land a little too long. “Are we done, or?”

Dan shook his head, “No, no. We’ve got a little longer to go.” He slapped his confidence back on with ease as soon as he was looking through the lens again. “Okay, Jessica give me some suggestive possibly girl on girl in the back, Ashley toss the beach ball…now.” The girls did as told, and he started snapping pictures.

Phil walked past Dan awkwardly, glad that Dan was busy with work. He made it to the back room and bumped into Tyler. “Hey,” he said.

Tyler looked up from the rack of dresses in front of him. As soon as he saw Phil a smirk formed on his lips. “Oh, hey. I see you’re here for a shoot. So you signed the contract?” He was being sure to play innocent. Dan had told him about the emails, and he thought it best that Phil didn’t know that Dan had been talking about him. Nonstop at that.

“Yeah, I did,” responded Phil. “I have a gaming shoot today, apparently.”

“You’re doing _that_ one? Lucky you,” Tyler stuck his tongue out slightly, letting it rest in between his teeth.

Phil looked at Tyler suspiciously. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re working with this real cutie. His name is Connor, Connor Franta. He renewed his contract recently, but he’s worked here before. He’ll be able to help you if you need it.” Tyler sighed.

Phil chuckled, “I guess that’s good then.”

Tyler made his way over to the clothes that Phil would need and started sifting through. “It is. Personally, I’ve been waiting for this baby boy to come back for a while.”

“He must be extremely attractive if _you’re_ interested. You seem like you have very intricate taste.”

“I do, and he fits everything _perfectly_.” Tyler handed Phil his clothes. “Leave what you’re wearing in the changing room, and then head out to Dan in about ten after you go to makeup.” He quickly went back to work.

Phil stepped into the changing room and switched out his clothes. He was now wearing dark blue skinny jeans, a black Assassin’s Creed shirt that had the logo in the middle in white, and a dark jacket. He left his clothes as instructed and went to makeup. Just like before, the makeup artists didn’t do much except add some foundation and powder to keep him from appearing shiny. They touched up his hair, but left it in the same style.

A few minutes later, he walked out to the main room. He was surprised to see that the beach backdrop and props were gone and had been replaced by a TV, Xbox One, and couch, with a backdrop that made it appear to look like a gaming lounge. He noticed there was another guy standing off to the side. He walked over. “Hey, are you the other model?” he asked.

“Yeah! Nice to meet you; I’m Connor,” Connor stuck out his hand to shake. Phil shook his hand and smiled.

“Nice to meet you too. I’m Phil,” he said. He had to admit, Tyler was right. Connor was extremely cute. Connor wasn’t his type, but he was cute.

Connor placed his hands in his pockets and sighed. “So you’re the new guy right?”

Phil nodded his head yes awkwardly. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“It’s not that hard, especially gaming adverts. Most companies have you pretend, but they actually set up a game system here.”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “Really? Why?”

“Because,” interrupted Dan as he approached Phil and Connor, “I like to capture genuine reactions. So I have Call of Duty Advanced Warfare in the system. It’s all set up. Just pull up Team Death Match and start playing.”

Phil and Connor sat on the couch and started up the game. Once the match started, they were both shouting at the TV and laughing. Dan was snapping picture after picture, capturing their reactions flawlessly. Phil was shouting “no!” and looking worried, but still somewhat smiling. Dan found himself smiling widely as he watched Phil through his camera lens. Every time he took a picture, he wondered just how well he had captured Phil’s smile or surprised expression. He wondered how many moments of pure beauty he had saved on his camera.

Phil was playing close attention to the game, but since the setup was almost fully facing Dan, his eyes kept flickering over to Dan. While the menu was loading, he and Connor were still anxious and waiting for the match to start; however, his eyes slowly trailed over to Dan. He didn’t realize just what kind of looks he was giving Dan. Dan was stood with his feet spread apart, knees slightly bent, and bent over just a bit as he took pictures from different angles. Seeing Dan in that position was making his jeans just a tad too tight. Casually, he grabbed the middle of his shirt and moved it back and forth, as if airing himself, and then he allowed the material to fall and conceal his crotch.

Dan realized what Phil did, and it almost drove him out of his mind right there. He knew that move, and he knew what caused it. He wasn’t stupid nor insecure enough to think it was something else. Despite the situation and environment, he could easily see Phil’s eyes flicker over to him and scan over him. He watched Phil “casually” adjust his shirt and place the controller over his crotch. Watching Phil trying to conceal an erection had him unconsciously sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, which now that he was taking a moment to stop taking pictures, Phil caught full sight of.

Phil was concealing so many different things in that moment. Watching Dan bite his lip like that made him want to bite it himself. He remembered trying to bite Dan’s lips during their kiss, but Dan wouldn’t let him. Dan had wanted control of the kiss, and Phil couldn’t help but to want to kiss him again just to be in control next time. Phil’s controller vibrated unexpectedly, and since it was pressed to his jeans, his eyes shot open and he almost yelped. He quickly brought up the controller to his chest and took a quick breath.

“Are you okay?” asked Connor not taking his eyes off of the game. “Shit!”

Phil made a “mhm” sound. “Yeah, I just almost died,” he lied.

Dan smirked to himself as he continued to take pictures. He felt relieved to feel like his old self, confident, and somewhat snarky. Now he just needed that pesky knot in his stomach to fade away.

After a while the shoot came to a close. Connor shut down the game and got up to stretch. Phil stood up as well and was relieved that he was no longer needing to conceal anything.

“Fantastic, both of you,” said Dan. He addressed both of them, but his eyes made their way over to Phil, making it a little too obvious what his real focus was on. Phil noticed Dan looking him up and down shamelessly, and he wondered what the hell he was up to. Over email, Dan seemed disinterested in how he felt about the kiss, but maybe he was playing a game. He wasn’t sure what Dan was doing, but if Dan kept looking at him like that, he wasn’t going to be able to keep himself from doing something as well.

“It’s good to be working here again,” said Connor with a smile. “Sorry about the hiccup. I just had a lot going on.”

“Oh? What happened?” asked Dan curiously. He instantly wondered if it had anything to do with Connor’s relationship.

Connor shrugged, “Eh, Troye and I broke up, so I just needed a break.”

Dan did his best to look sympathetic, but in his mind he was screaming “YES!” He couldn’t wait to tell Tyler. “Well, that stuff is hard, so I’m glad you’re okay now.”

“Thank you.”

Dan sighed, “That’s it for today. You know the drill. Keep the clothes, and be here tomorrow for the college advert shoot.”

“Right,” replied Phil. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He waited for Connor to walk by first, and then he walked by Dan and lightly pinched his ass. _That’s for giving me the elevator for the past hour._ Dan slapped his hand over his mouth to conceal the gasp that escaped. He couldn’t believe that Phil had just done that.

Dan turned and watched Phil walk away and disappear into the dressing room. He licked his lips and shook his head. _You wanna play like that? Fine._

***

The next day, Phil showed up for his next shoot. He noticed that Dan wasn’t present, so he just went to the change room and got his clothes from Tyler. He couldn’t help but to note that Tyler seemed very happy. “Well you’re chipper,” he said as took the clothes from Tyler.

“Oh, you have no idea. Connor broke up with his boyfriend, which means that I can ask the boy toy out _finally_.” Tyler grinned.

Phil chuckled. “Just curious, are there any straight men here?”

It was Tyler’s turn to laugh. “Straight men aren’t in modeling.”

“Fair point.” Phil shrugged and went into the changing room. The clothes that Tyler had picked for him were a red UCL t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and a black jacket. Phil honestly didn’t see what was so hard about putting these outfits together, but oh well. He left the changing room, and across the room and out into the studio he could see Dan. Dan was wearing his usual black clothes, but something struck him as different. He just wasn’t sure what it was.

He walked out and was met with a few other male models and a few female models. He assumed that everyone was about to take the car to the college campus. Sure enough, everyone quickly loaded into the limo, including Dan. Dan made sure to get a seat next Phil, and Phil knew that Dan did it on purpose.

Dan took every opportunity to bring his and Phil’s bodies into contact. Their legs were touching at the thigh, which was driving Phil mad. He wasn’t sure how to play the game. Should he play hard to get, or should he shamelessly flirt and touch Dan just like Dan was doing?

Dan honestly didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Well, he knew _what_ he was doing, but he didn’t know _why_ he was doing it. No matter how much he flirted or played around, he couldn’t have Phil. But for some reason, keeping up the flirtatious attitude and acting like he did when he first met Phil was helping keep him level headed. However, he missed when Phil was intimidated and shy. Phil was starting to warm up, gain more confidence, and play the game back. Dan found Phil’s confidence incredibly sexy, and that was the problem. He wanted to be the chaser, not the chasee. When he was the chasee, he found himself weak at the knees, and he couldn’t have that.

The limousine arrived at the campus, and everyone headed to where the shoot was set up. Dan took some pictures outdoors and indoors, just depending on what page of the advert the pictures were for. He did his best to pay equal attention to all the models as he took the pictures, but Phil’s allure was pulling him in and drowning him.

Later into the day the shoot ended and everyone returned to the studio. Phil stood around waiting for his clothes when he noticed that almost every female model was all over Dan. Even a few male models were eyeing Dan was from across the room. Phil casually walked a bit closer so he could overhear the conversation.

“My roommate’s out for the weekend,” said one of the female models. She twirled her blonde curls and bit her lower lip. Phil rolled his eyes as he watched her. “So if you want to, you know,” she winked. Dan smiled and brushed a curl behind her ear. He whispered something in her ear that left her looking disappointed. “Alright, it was worth a shot.” She walked away.

The other models filtered out rather quickly, but Phil stuck around a few extra minutes. He approached Dan and gave him a shake of his head. “If you don’t want to sleep with them, why don’t you just tell them you’re Kinsey 6 gay?”

Dan let out a condescending chuckle and then sighed. “It’s just, it feels like a crime to completely destroy their hope.”

“Riiiight,” Phil rolled his eyes. “What’s the excuse you gave them anyway? It must have had to be pretty convincing.”

“Well,” Dan stopped. He should have taken that opportunity to tell Phil about the rules, but instead he just said, “I just tell them that I’m seeing someone, and that I can’t possibly be such a prick that I’d cheat on them.”

“Ah, I see,” Phil eyed Dan suspiciously. “But it’s not true?” Dan shook his head. Phil made a “hm” sound. “Well at least it works.”

Dan nodded his head, “Yes, it does. I have the system down.”

Phil nodded in agreement. He wanted to ask Dan a _very_ risky question, but his nerves were getting the best of him. Normally he could be pretty bold, but Dan seemed to shut that down. He was surprised that he was able to even slightly flirt without choking up. Every part of him wanted to try asking, but he wasn’t sure if he could find it in himself to take the shot.

“Phil,” shouted Tyler from the back. Phil reluctantly turned around. Dan wasn’t paying attention, so Tyler mouthed “sorry” to Phil. “I’ve got all your clothes.”

Phil smiled, “Thank you, Tyler.” He walked into the back and got his clothes. Walking back, he stood next to Dan and set the bag down. Tyler caught sight of the situation and quickly closed the door. Phil took a quiet, deep breath. They were the only two in the room. “Dan?”

Dan looked up from his camera, “Hm?” He then noticed the emptiness of the room aside from himself and Phil. His heart beat picked up a bit. Shit. He should have said something.

Phil took a step forward, lessening the space between him and Dan. He swallowed and lessened the space even more, leaning in just ever so slightly. ”What would you have said if I had been the one inviting you back to my place?” He felt as if his heart was caught in his throat. Gathering the nerve to say that had taken a lot out of him, and he had no idea if he was going to be able to speak anymore.

Dan felt his body being drawn in. Their faces were mere inches apart. He leaned in, just barely touching the tip of his nose to Phil’s. “I probably,” he paused. His eyes glided down to Phil’s lips, and he found himself chewing the inside of cheek, trying to stop himself. “I probably would have said yes.”

“What if I asked now?” Phil moved his nose just a tad, bringing them just a little closer together.

Dan didn’t respond. He brought his hand up and gently cupped Phil’s face. He wanted to kiss Phil so bad it almost hurt. Then he felt Phil start to move, “Wait.” Phil stopped, not sure what was wrong. Dan cursed under his breath. He shut his eyes closed tightly, equally frustrated as he was disappointed. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean?” asked Phil as he pulled away to get a better look at Dan.

Dan opened his eyes and regretted it. Phil looked so confused. Dan sighed, “I can’t have anything with my models, and I mean anything. It looks unprofessional and if the press ever found out, it would look like I only hired you because of that reason.”

“What?” Phil took a step away from Dan. “Then why were you coming onto me?”

“Because…Because I want you, but I can’t have you. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’m sorry.”

Phil wasn’t sure how to feel. Part of him wanted to be mad, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be mad. However, he wasn’t exactly happy in that moment either. “It’s fine. I’ll see you at the next shoot.” He grabbed his bag and left the building. He flagged down a cab and headed home. More than anything he wanted to just let what happened blow over, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Unfortunately, his new job wasn’t going to be a new form of torment, but was he going to quit? Absolutely not.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So those of you that follow this fic, you know I update weekly. However, I have my chapters ready, so I thought I'd give you guys a midweek update. So you're getting two chapters this week!
> 
> I'd like to give a shout-out to the users apieformydean, cynx__17__kh, and guest Reyna. They're really consistent readers that comment a lot and talk to me, and they are part of the reason I decided to update twice this week. I really hope you guys like this chapter :)

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 8:

The following weeks were absolute torment. Phil had gone in for photoshoots fairly often. The company liked him a lot, so Dan was contacting him every few days. Every time he went in it was as if he and Dan were hiding their secret relationship, even though that didn’t exist. Phil’s time in the studio was full of stolen glances, subtle flirtations, and over time they became accustom to flirting heavily when alone. Even though they both knew nothing could happen between them, they couldn’t get enough of each other.

Another day of shooting had come to a close. The female models took their shot with Dan, struck out, and left. Phil lingered as usual, which Tyler assisted him with. Tyler always “couldn’t find” where he put Phil’s clothes; therefore, Phil had to stay. The room was empty aside from Dan and Phil. The air was silent, but eventually Phil decided to speak up.

“I’m assuming you got some good shots as usual,” commented Phil.

“As usual,” replied Dan as he made his way to Phil. They stood mere inches apart from each other. “Don’t worry. I always succeed in capturing your pretty face.”

Phil shifted his gaze away from Dan. Dan’s pupils had dilated so much that Phil thought he might jump the younger man. “Do you?”

“Yes,” Dan gently guided Phil to look at him with his thumb and index finger, “I do.” He noticed Phil’s Adam’s apple bob and he almost shoved Phil into a wall right there. His eyes were hooded, and he caught himself slowly bringing Phil’s face closer to his.

Phil stopped moving along with Dan’s guidance, despite wanting to more than anything. “I seem to recall you saying that this isn’t professional.” Phil could feel Dan’s breath hot on his lips they were so close. “We wouldn’t want to break any rules.”

“A wise man once told me that you’re only breaking rules if you get caught.” Dan ran his tongue along his bottom lip quickly, as if showing Phil what could be happening to him. It seemed to be working, as Phil’s expression changed. His body language was screaming that he wanted to touch Dan, but he resisted.

“I don’t think Tyler is as wise as he is risky. And I don’t think either of us should be taking risks right now. Not with Paris coming up. After all, I could use a vacation.”

Dan smirked, “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to work serving cheap white girls anymore?”

Phil shrugged, “I miss the free coffee, but now I can afford my own much easier.”

“And,” Dan cocked his head to the side, as if preparing to kiss Phil, “who do you have to thank for that?”

Phil cocked his head to the side as well, but he matched Dan rather than going the opposite way. “Well, Chris did ask me to cover his shift that day. I should send him a card.”

Dan shook his head lightly. God, Phil playing hard to get was such a turn on. Before he wanted to kiss Phil, but at this rate he wanted him pressed down against a mattress.

“I’ll see you soon, Dan,” said Phil in a slightly quieter tone. He then moved past Dan, making sure to brush against him as he did so. He sauntered up to the dressing room to see Tyler standing by the doorframe. “How long have you been standing there?”

Tyler shook his head, “Long enough to get impregnated from you two.” Phil rolled his eyes and took his clothes from Tyler. “Here’s an idea,” mumbled Tyler in a whisper. “Fuck him already.”

“Goodnight, Tyler,” Phil turned around and walked away.

“Just an idea!”

***

Phil took a cab home. Once he arrived, he plopped down on his couch and started channel surfing. He had no idea that modeling could actually be _tiring_. Though, he had to admit that most of his energy went into not jumping Dan. Dan was torturing him, and he honestly wasn’t sure why. Dan was the one that was so adamant about not breaking the rules, yet he came onto Phil even more since then. Granted, Phil didn’t help by constantly reciprocating. He couldn’t help it. After all, he had to admit that he _loved_ the chase. Plus, playing hard to get with a gorgeous man that clearly wanted him was the most fun he’d had in a long time.

He began to wonder if he was going to be picked to travel with Dan in Europe soon. The company chose which model went with Dan. Dan had a little bit of a say in the matter, but at the end of the day it was the company that picked the model. Phil had already been able to quit his job at Starbucks, but traveling would be something that would provide better pay, a good experience, and of course it meant a lot of time with Dan, which he didn’t mind whatsoever.

It wouldn’t be long before he would find out, and the wait was starting to be just as bad as the tension between him and Dan. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out for both things.

His cell phone sounded across the couch, and he almost landed on his cat in an attempt to dive for it. Just as he suspected, it was an email from Dan.

**Dan:**

**The company picked you to come with me. Pack your bags and update your passport. Let’s meet tomorrow in my office to discuss what’s going to be happening. 5:30 p.m.**

**-Daniel**

**Phil:**

**Will do.**

**-Philip**

Phil wasn’t sure if he should be excited, nervous, happy, scared, or what. So instead, he let every different emotion go through him at different times as he started up dinner. He had to admit, being Dan’s model was probably the best thing that had ever happened to his health. After dinner he’d be going for a run around his neighborhood. He was in better shape and he felt more energized from eating better. Dan definitely knew what he was doing, and not just as a photographer. Come to think of it, Dan knew what he was doing in a lot of situations.

The run after dinner was exactly what Phil needed. It was a good way to clear his head. He and Dan were going to be attending events, where they would be surrounded by paparazzi and a lot of famous people. They were going to have to be careful. More than that, they were going to have to stop toying with each other. If Dan wasn’t going to be careful, then Phil knew he had to be the distant one. He just wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to do that.

Once he was back from his run, he downed a whole bottle of water as he checked his phone. He had another email from Dan.

**Dan:**

**Wear something pretty.**

**-Daniel**

Phil rolled his eyes. Dan and himself had taken to flirting over email. Sure it was harmless, but it always made him wish that he could actually show up as if something was going to happen.

**Phil:**

**I’ll make sure it comes off easily.**

**-Philip**

For a moment, Phil felt a little nervous about sending the email. It was by far the boldest email he had ever sent. However, when Dan didn’t respond, he knew it was taken well. If Dan didn’t have the last word, he did something right. Then he wondered if that was a bad thing or not. Fuck it. He was going to go to bed.

***

The next day Phil arrived at the studio at 5:30 sharp. He walked into Dan’s office to find Dan sitting in his office chair with his feet on the desk, a book in his lap. Dan’s eyes flickered up from his book, and he shut it and tossed it onto his desk.

“Glad you made it,” he said.

“Naturally,” replied Phil as he closed the door. Dan gestured to the chair by his desk. Phil sat down and rested his arms on the armrests. “So what’s this about? I figured any information I would need you could just send to me over email.”

Dan removed his feet from his desk and sat upright, leaning across the desk slightly. “I was too lazy to type it all out over email. I figured talking would be easier.”

“You could have called,” Phil smirked.

“I don’t have your number.”

Phil’s expression remained unchanged. “I guess we should fix that then.” Dan’s lips formed a smirk to match Phil’s. He tossed Phil his cellphone.

“Put your name and number in, and I’ll hit you up.”

“Bossy, bossy,” commented Phil as he typed his number into Dan’s phone.

“Trust me, I am,” said Dan, his tone more seductive than before. Phil felt his breath catch. Damn him. He handed Dan back his phone, trying to keep his face neutral, but it was hard with Dan’s eyes staring into him. “So we’re going to be traveling around Europe for about two months. We’ll be staying in a hotel in Paris, because every destination is a train ride away. Now, there will be one trip to Italy, but that’s only a two hour plane ride. Now these events are just meeting with other photographers and models. We’re trying to branch out and get more people involved with the company. We’re the representatives. There will be a few shoots, but nothing that will consume too much time. Other than that, we’ll have time to do whatever we want, and all expenses are covered.”

Phil chuckled, “It really does sound more like a vacation than it does business. I like it.”

“It’s my favorite time of the year. Plus Paris in autumn is magnificent.”

“I bet it is. I can’t wait to see for myself.”

“I look forward to showing you.”

“I’m assuming there’s a lot to show.”

Dan’s response was a wink. Damn him, damn him. Phil truly wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Hell even his pants were threatening to snap.

“Well if that’s all,” Phil got to his feet. Dan stood up as well and walked around his desk. He stared at Phil, the lust in his eyes clear as a bell. _That’s it!_ Phil shoved Dan against the wall and crashed their lips together. Dan didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. He wrapped his arms around Phil, snaking his hands up Phil’s shirt so he could get in as many skin to skin touches as possible. Phil grinded his hips against Dan’s, pinning the younger man against the wall with his entire body.

Dan dug his nails into Phil’s back, attempting to pull him even closer. He licked at Phil’s lips before pushing his tongue into Phil’s mouth. He wasn’t about to ask permission. Despite being pushed against the wall, he was in charge. At least that’s what he thought. Phil broke their kiss and latched his lips onto Dan’s neck. Dan moaned without meaning to. He immediately shut his mouth and tried to internalize the pleasure that was coursing through him. Phil smirked against Dan’s skin. Who would have thought that Mr. Howell would be weak at the knees from something so simple?

Phil worked on Dan’s skin, nipping, biting, sucking, and licking the area over and over. He reached down and palmed at Dan through his jeans, and he could have sworn he felt the man damn near shaking. It suddenly made sense why Dan put on the dominant act that he did. It didn’t take much to have him trembling. Dan’s grip on Phil tightened. It was clear that he was struggling to stay quiet. Quiet moans and whines were escaping his throat, along with audible exhales that shook lightly. There weren’t many people in the studio, but if the wrong person heard, things would take a turn for the worst. Dan wiggled around against Phil’s body, giving Phil the friction he needed. If the studio had been empty, Phil was certain they’d already be doing it on the desk.

Then the door opened.

“Dan—” Tyler looked up from his papers and his eyes widened. He clasped his hand over his mouth in an attempt not to laugh. His face turned bright red from concealing so much laughter. “S-Sorry!” he quickly closed the door and looked around to see if anyone else was around. Thankfully, the answer was no.

Dan and Phil both stood frozen for a moment. Dan could have sworn that his heart stopped when the door opened. Thank god it was just Tyler. He could only imagine the shit he was going to get from Tyler later. He knew that his complexion probably stuck out immensely amongst all the black that he was wearing. Even his earrings were black, so he could picture how flushed he looked. That idea brought his attention to Phil’s face. Sure enough, Phil was flushed as well, which stood out like a beacon amongst his pale skin and light colored clothes.

“Um, I’ll get our tickets. We leave next week, Friday. Be here by 7:00 a.m.,” said Dan. He wanted to back away, somehow initiate that what had happened needed to end, but he had nowhere to go. He looked up into Phil’s eyes, and part of him hoped that Phil would start kissing him again.

Phil nodded his head, “Right. I’ll make sure I’m here.” He took a step back, but then everything gravitated him towards Dan again. He quickly brushed his lips against Dan’s and gave the younger man’s lips a quick swipe with his tongue. He then swiftly turned around and left the room. Just when he was about to leave the studio Tyler practically appeared out of nowhere and seized his arm. Next thing he knew he was pulled into a supplies closet. “What the hell?”

“Shhh!” shushed Tyler. “Three quick things. One, if you’re going to fuck, learn to lock the doors.”

“We weren’t going to have sex!” hissed Phil quietly.

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Sure. Whatever. Two, the press is going to be everywhere, so make sure the shades are closed in hotels and just lock the door. No ‘do not disturb’ signs.” Phil rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “Third, last thing, I want every detail when you get back. Okay bye.” Tyler left the closet and closed the door in Phil’s face so he could make his run for it to the dressing rooms.

Phil carefully opened the door to make sure no one saw him leaving a fucking supply closet. When he saw that no one was around, he left the studio.

As soon as he was home, he started thinking of what he needed to pack. He couldn’t believe he’d be going to Paris with Dan in just a week. Sighing, he realized it was going to be the longest week of his life, and then things were only going to get even tenser. Lord, have mercy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I know that Paris is a location in this chapter, so I apologize if that triggers anything. I posted this chapter before I heard about the tragedies. My prayers go out to Paris and everyone affected.

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 9:

Friday morning at 7:00 a.m. Phil arrived at the studio. Dan stepped outside and stood by his limousine. Phil approached Dan and set down his luggage. Before he could ask where to put it, Everett was already putting his belongings into the back of the limo.

“Good morning,” greeted Dan.

“Good morning,” replied Phil. He let out a yawn and shifted around, trying to shake off the sleepiness.

Dan chuckled. “Don’t worry. It’s a short flight, only a little over an hour. Then we can just crash out at the hotel. You’ll need to be rested for tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“It’s the first of many events. You’ll be meeting other photographers, models, company leaders, all of those people. It’s basically our job to make our company look good.”

Phil nodded his head, “I think we can do that.”

Dan smirked, “As long as you’re there, trust me, we can.”

The plane ride to Paris went by quickly. Dan and Phil chatted throughout the flight. Dan gave Phil a little more information about the events, and then they settled on other topics to make the time go by. Once they landed, they got their bags and took a cab to the hotel.

Phil was in awe of their hotel room. They each had king size beds separated by glass doors that seemed fogged, giving them their privacy. They had a small lounge with a flat screen TV, and a large bathroom with a hot tub and shower. There was also a balcony that looked over the city. Phil practically dropped his bags and stepped out onto the stone balcony. The city was beautiful. He could see the Eiffel Tower in the distance. Dan approached him and stood by his side, looking out upon the city he’d been to a hundred times. However, he couldn’t place why, but there was something different this time.

“Isn’t it magnificent?” inquired Dan, curious what Phil would have to say.

Phil was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I can’t describe it. It’s nothing like I thought. I mean, I’ve seen pictures on the internet, but actually being here is totally different. I’m sleepy and I want to sleep, but I’d rather go exploring.”

 “Well then,” Dan snaked his arm around Phil’s waist, pulling the older man closer, “let’s go.”

Phil stepped away from Dan and shook his head, “Out on the balcony. You’re really getting careless.” He winked and then stepped back into the room.

Dan followed after him, “Believe me,” his voice fell to where only he could hear his words, “I can’t remember the last time I was this careless.”

***

Dan flagged down a cab and took Phil to a café that he was familiar with. He had been there a few times over the years; he knew it was quaint, calming. Once the cab arrived, they stepped out and Phil turned around in a circle, taking in all of the scenery. Dan couldn’t help but to smile watching Phil look at the city with such wonderment. Normally, Dan always ended up traveling with models that were used to changes in culture and had been in the city many times themselves. It was refreshing to travel with someone that still had a child-like innocence and inquisitiveness.

“I’m sorry; I must look like such a dork. It’s just that this place is so beautiful,” mused Phil.

Dan gestured for Phil to follow him, “Oh I know. I remember my first time in this city. No matter how often you come, it never loses its charm, which is something that’s really unique about this place.” He opened the door to the café and let Phil walk inside ahead of him. He followed and showed Phil to a table. “Most cities, once you’ve been there too much, it gets tiring. But here, it never stops being beautiful.”

“So I’m guessing you’ve been to this café a lot then?”

“Yes, it’s become my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, most places are wonderful, but there’s something about this one in particular.”

Phil looked around the café, taking in all the sights and sounds. It was decorated to look like a classic café, old fashioned, but slightly modernized. There were paintings along some of the walls, giving it a calming aura. The center of the ceiling held a bright chandelier that seemingly was made of crystals. The floors were a light colored wood that was shiny, polished regularly. The sounds of calm chit-chatter and coffee being brewed flowed in the air.

“I can see what you like about it,” commented Phil as he turned back to look at Dan.

A waitress approached their table. She smiled and asked them a question, but it was spoken in French, so Phil looked at Dan slightly panicked.

“Um, do you use an app or something?” he asked.

Dan smirked before turning to the waitress. He began responding to her in her own language. It flowed fluently from him, as it if it was his first language. “What would you like to drink?” he questioned, turning to Phil.

“Uh,” Phil fumbled with the menu, trying to reassess himself. There was something about the language of love coming from Dan’s mouth that nearly knocked him out of his chair. “Uh I can’t read it.” His cheeks burned.

Dan chuckled, “It’s okay.” He began translating the menu for Phil, leaning over rather closely to do so. Phil merely had to look up to be met with Dan’s eyes, so he kept his gaze down in an attempt to control himself. “I’ll just have a mango iced tea.”

Dan adjusted back in his seat and ordered his and Phil’s drinks. Phil felt like a teenage girl with how Dan’s use of language was making him blush, and the embarrassment from that fact was only making matters worse for his complexion.

“So,” Dan turned his attention back to Phil, “shall I translate the rest of the menu for you real quick? Though I will admit your dumbfounded and panicked expression is cute.”

Phil narrowed his eyes at Dan playfully. “As much I would _loooove_ to keep looking cute, I’d rather know what to order.” He stopped for a moment, wondering if he should continue flirting back. He couldn’t help but to feel cautious because they were in public, but it was clear that Dan didn’t fear being seen in that moment. “Now, we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself bending over to help, so why don’t you just move over here?” he smirked.

Dan got up and moved his chair along with him to sit next to Phil. He flipped to breakfast section of the menu and began translating for Phil. They sat close together, their shoulders brushing on occasion. Dan moved his leg ever so slightly so that his and Phil’s thighs would just barely touch. He noticed Phil seeming nervous, similar to how he was when they first met, and that’s what he liked. Phil’s confidence was one hell of a turn on, but there was nothing like having Phil stuttering and at a loss for words. Watching Phil’s confidence waver and go up and down was peaking his curiosity. It was interesting.

“Okay, I think I’d like this one,” said Phil gesturing to the meal that sounded the most appealing.

“Perfect,” replied Dan. He moved his chair back to its original spot and sat back down. Right away he noticed that Phil seemed to relax. It was intriguing. Surely Phil had _some_ control, but then again, the man did nearly jump him not too long ago.

The waitress came back over, and Dan ordered for himself and Phil. It was quiet for a minute, and then Dan decided to break the silence. “So, Phil, tell me about yourself.”

“Oh,” Phil leaned forward, closer to Dan so that he could whisper, “so now you’re suddenly interested in something besides my dick?”

Dan laughed, his dimples showing. He had to cover his mouth, so that he wouldn’t look obnoxious. Phil silently wished Dan wouldn’t hide his smile. He looked cute. Dan sighed, “Well, I do try to get to know my models personally, at least the ones that travel with me. So, tell me about yourself.”

Phil leaned back in his seat and pondered what to say. “Well, I grew up in Manchester, I went to uni where I got a Master’s degree, and I moved to London in hopes of finding _something_.” He chuckled. “I’m not even certain what I was looking for.”

“So you never had a dream career or anything?” asked Dan seeming much more interested than Phil had initially expected.

“For some reason, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a weather man. But, have you ever looked into meteorology? Just, no.” He laughed. “I think that’s why I chose to move to London. I figured I’d eventually find something.”

“And did you?”

Phil looked up at Dan, a barely visible smile appearing on his lips, “I think I did.” Dan smiled back, but remained quiet in case he had more to say. “What about you? How did you get into photography?”

“It’s a bit of a cliché story,” muttered Dan. He sighed, “I got my first camera when I was siiiix,” he drawled. Phil laughed in response, making him giggle a little as well. “I’m not kidding, that’s what happened. I got my first camera at age six. I used to go into my backyard and I’d take pictures of the trees, any wildlife I could find, anything really. I used to make my friends pose so I could take pictures of them.”

“That sounds adorable.”

“I doubt any of them found it adorable, but a lot of them did enjoy it. All the girls _loved_ posing for pictures. As I got older, I worked on the yearbook each year for high school as the photographer, obviously. Some students would even pay me to take their senior photos. When I was a sophomore, my parents bought me a _really_ nice camera, so I got a reputation pretty quickly because of all the pictures I would post to Facebook and Instagram. I loved taking pictures of nature, but I enjoyed capturing images of people more. There was something about people, humans, that was beautiful.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like that. Now you know, don’t get me talking about photography.”

Phil slowly shook his head, “No. I like listening to you talk about it.” Dan looked at him curiously. “It’s nice to see this,” he searched for the right word, “warm side to you. Usually, you’re, not cold, but strict. Set in the day to day routines of your job, which is understandable. You have a lot weighing on you.”

“Well, thank you. That’s not usually people’s responses.”

“I am curious though, how did you end up getting to where you are today?”

Dan scoffed, “Now if you want to hear something boring, that’s it. Honestly it was just a matter of getting hired as a photographer at a company and working my way up to the top.”

Phil shrugged, “I suppose, but you’re pretty young. It normally takes years.”

“What can I say,” he smirked, “I’m good at what I do.”

“I can attest to that.” He winked.

Dan rolled his eyes jokingly. “Shut up, will you? We’re in public.”

A few minutes later their food arrived. They talked a bit more about their college years. Phil interrupted the conversation every now and then to praise the food, which made Dan laugh every time.

“I have to ask,” started Phil, “how do you know French so well?”

Dan finished eating a bite of food before responding, “I took it as a second language in high school, and I just continued learning it. And as you can see, it turns out that it came in handy.”

“Being here, I understand why the language has the reputation that it does. No matter what’s said it sounds so _nice_.”

“It can make even the most terrible things sound nice.”

Phil raised an eyebrow curiously, “Oh? Like what?”

Dan gnawed his lower lip, trying to think of something. He then acquired a rather cheeky grin before speaking. “Tu es trop mingon quand tu es nue.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” he sighed. “I have no idea what you just said, but it sounds so beautiful.”

“I just said ‘you’re too cute when you’re naked.’”

Phil almost spit out his drink, causing the tea to dribble down his chin. He coughed as he set the glass down and grabbed a napkin to wipe away the mess. “Oh my god!”

Dan burst out laughing, unable to control how hard the laughter was coming out. Phil’s reaction was the most priceless he’d ever received. “Then there’s this one. Bisez-mon cou.”

“Do I even want to know what that one means?”

“It just means ‘kiss my ass.’”

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “Oh my god.”

“Suivez-moi a la lit.” Phil looked up at him, waiting. “Follow me to bed.”

“Stop it!” he exclaimed, his complexion showing clear embarrassment.

“Okay, okay, I’m done I swear.”

They both laughed, smiles wide on their faces. Dan couldn’t remember the last time he felt so carefree and happy during a conversation, especially with one of his models. It was so refreshing. After breakfast, he showed Phil all over the city. Phil was astonished with each new sight, occasionally taking pictures with his phone. The day went by fast, like a flash of a light.

It was just after 6:00 p.m. The sun had set, making the streets dark aside from the lights that hung from above. They were stood beside the Eiffel Tower, leaning against a railing that separated them from the water beneath. In the distance, fountains sprayed water in the air, giving the area an even more serene feel. The moon was reflected in the water, casting bright illuminations.

“This place is so beautiful,” whispered Phil as he gazed upon the lights shining on the water’s surface.

“Yeah,” Dan was looking directly at Phil, watching him admire the scenery, “it is beautiful.” He carefully slid to the side, maneuvering closer to Phil. Phil noticed this, but he didn’t move away. There was almost no one around where they were. After all, it was pretty dark out, so there wasn’t much reason to still be out. He turned to look at Dan, causing their eyes to meet. There were several moments of silence. Nothing needed to be said.

Dan reached for Phil, slowly and carefully, making sure Phil could stop him if he wanted to. He brought his hand to Phil’s face, brushing his thumb along the older man’s cheek, guiding him closer. Phil thought Dan must be crazy, but in that moment he didn’t care. He gently grabbed at Dan’s waist, pulling him in. Their lips met, but for the first time, it wasn’t crazy and harsh. It wasn’t fast or hot; it wasn’t anything like they’d had before. Instead, it was slow, gentle. It was meaningful.

It wasn’t long before Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he did. He did everything he could to pull Phil closer. This new feeling inside was strange. He didn’t want to pull Phil closer for any sexual reason. Hell, he didn’t even feel the need to grind their bodies together like before. He only wanted to bring Phil closer because he wanted Phil to _be_ closer. Tilting his head, he gently parted his lips and licked Phil’s bottom lip. Luckily, Phil knew what he wanted. He found himself holding back sounds when he felt Phil’s tongue begin to explore his mouth. It was so sensual this time, not so coarse.

Phil had no idea what to think. He couldn’t think. All he could do was react and feel. The other times he’d kissed Dan, their exchanges were hot and heavy, extremely sexual and needy. What was happening in that moment didn’t feel like that at all. He wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist tighter, until he could grab his own wrists with his hands. He pulled Dan’s body as close to his own as possible, but not for the reasons like before. All he wanted was to be close. There was no other way to explain it. He started gingerly biting at Dan’s bottom lip, making sure it was much softer than the times before. In the past, he was surprised their lips didn’t bleed with how rough they were. This time it was just enough to where he could capture Dan’s lip between his teeth and pull, as if saying “come here.”

It didn’t make any sense. Dan tried to think of a time when he felt this way, but to no avail. It seemed that any time he was with someone, it was purely driven by lust. In the beginning, that’s how it felt with Phil too, but now he felt completely different. When he felt Phil gently run his tongue over the sweet spot on his own, he could have sworn he felt his heart do a summersault in his chest. That annoying twist in his stomach was back stronger than ever, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He just wanted to keep kissing Phil. With how Phil was gripping his waist, he felt like he was being held. Not once did he think he’d like that, but it was the best feeling he could imagine. Using his left hand, he reached up to run his fingers through Phil’s hair. He didn’t pull it or yank, trying to assert anything; he just wanted to touch Phil.

Eventually, they parted, but only enough to look at one another. They rested their noses together, both of them taking a moment to relax their breathing. Dan wondered if there was a word for what he was feeling. Was it bliss? He couldn’t tell. He felt like he should say something, but he didn’t want anything in that moment to change. Sadly, he knew better.

“We should head back to the hotel to get ready for tonight,” he whispered. Phil didn’t respond with more than a nod. They completely parted and began walking back to the street to flag down a cab.

The ride back to the hotel was silent, but it was a comfortable silence. There was no need to talk, so they didn’t. Once they arrived, they went straight up to the room.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” informed Phil.

“Alright,” replied Dan.

Phil grabbed a few bottles out of his suitcase and then disappeared into the bathroom. As soon as the water turned on, Dan dived for his cell phone. It rang and rang and rang, making him fill with dread that Tyler wouldn’t answer.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up!” he muttered.

“Hello?” answered Tyler.

Dan’s eyes flew open, and he sighed with relief, “Tyler! Thank god.”

“Dan, what’s wrong?” Tyler could already hear the distraught in Dan’s voice.

“Tyler,” he lowered his voice, “I’m in trouble.”

Tyler had feared that this would happen. He hoped he was wrong, but he already knew. “What kind of trouble, Dan?”

Dan was unable to answer for a moment. He felt warmth gather in his eyes that he tried to push back, but it was no use. The memories rolled down his cheeks despite his protest. “The kind of trouble I swore against after Nathan died…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....  >:3 Didn't see that one coming did ya?


	10. Chapter 10

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 10:

Tyler was speechless on the other line. Normally he knew exactly what to say, but in this case, he knew there was nothing he could say to make things better. “Dan…”

Dan didn’t even blink, but more tears fell from his eyes. He wiped away the sadness from his face with his free hand, but it seemed fruitless. More kept pouring out. “I feel like an idiot,” he said in a quiet tone, his voice wavering from the pain. “It wasn’t until tonight that I realized what I did…”

“I was going to say something, but everything seemed to be okay,” replied Tyler. “I didn’t want to bring anything to light that wasn’t there.”

“Wait, you knew?”

Tyler sighed, “Dan, come on. He looks just like him. You can’t tell me you didn’t notice that.”

Dan was silent. …Phil…looked just like Nathan… Dan took out his wallet and began shuffling through it until he found what he was looking for. He gently brought out an old picture. It was a picture he took several years ago with a classic Polaroid camera, the kind that printed out the picture right after you took it, just like the old days. The person in the picture looked like a man at first glance, but when you looked closer, you could see he was a boy, no older than 18. He had very dark hair, almost black. It was short, lightly shaggy, needing to be brushed away from his eyes. He had eyes that stood out more than any other feature in the picture; they were a brilliant color of hazel, but the blue stood out the most. His complexion was pale, but his smile brought life to the photo.

“How could I not see it?” asked Dan in a whisper.

“You didn’t want to see it, babe,” sighed Tyler. “Look, just tell me what happened.”

Dan recalled the day’s events and repeated them for Tyler. Once he reached explaining the kiss, that’s when he really started breaking down. “At first, I couldn’t even think of when I last felt like that, and then I did.” For a moment, he could have sworn he heard the sound of the gun shot all over again. He couldn’t hold back the sob that was building in his throat.

“Okay, that’s it.” Tyler opened up his laptop and pulled up an airlines website. “If anybody asks, you had a wardrobe malfunction and you needed me immediately.”

Dan sniffled and wiped away more tears. Then he realized what Tyler had said. “W-wait, what are you doing?”

“Boo, you’re a mess, and you have every right to be. I’ll be there by morning.”

“N-No, Tyler,” he sniffed again, “you don’t have to do that.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, “Do you hear yourself. You better get a Kleenex or something, because I swear to god if you get any snot on any of those Paris clothes I chose for you, you will be receiving my wrath as soon as you’re feeling better.”

Dan laughed despite the tears that were still falling from his eyes. “S-shut up. You can wash this stupid shirt.”

“Bitch, don’t you be calling my wardrobe choices stupid.” He glanced at the time. “Shit! Okay, hun, clean yourself up and suit up. You’ve got an event in less than an hour and it’s a twenty minute drive.”

“Fuck!” Dan darted up from his seat. He quickly went into his side of the room and opened his suitcase. “Shit, shit, shit! Where is it?”

Tyler heard his panic over the phone, and he narrowed his eyes despite Dan not being able to see him. “Wait, have you even unpacked yet?” he shouted.

“Uh, no! We were out all day.” Dan finally found the tux for that evening and took it out. He clicked on the speaker button on his phone and set the phone on the bed. Now he could hear Tyler yelling at him loud and clear.

“You dumbass! You have to be in a cab in twenty minutes! And you and I both know there’s no such thing as fashionably late at _these_ events!”

Dan stuck out his tongue childishly, even though it was just at his phone, “Yeah, yeah! I fucking know! Okay? Shut up!” He was hopping around on one foot trying to get his shoes one while searching for where he set down his tie.

Tyler sighed, “Just take deep breathes, babe, it’ll be fine. But you have _got_ to get a move on.”

“Yeah, I know!” Dan hollered so the phone would catch his voice. He was standing by a mirror so he could fix his tie. That’s when he heard the shower water turn off. “Shit! Tyler hang up!”

Tyler didn’t hesitate. Normally he would have stayed on the line to make sure Dan was going to be okay for the night, but due to the urgency in Dan’s voice, he knew better. Dan’s phone shut off right when Phil knocked on Dan’s door.

“You’re good,” said Dan nonchalantly, expertly slapping on the old act, the act of being okay.

Phil stepped into the room wearing one of the bath robes that was available from the hotel. ”Thanks to you not unpacking, I look an idiot in this thing.” He laughed.

Dan chuckled as he sifted through the clothes looking for Phil’s tux. “I can’t complain. After all, you pull one string and bam.” He handed Phil the tuxedo and winked.

Phil rolled his eyes and left the room, but Dan heard him laugh. Dan waited for the door to close. Once it did, he felt like he could breathe again. He walked over to the mirror to double check on how he looked. Everything seemed to be fine. _Smile. Make jokes. You’ll be fine._ He always told himself that he was going to be completely fine, but that was the first night in a long time that he wasn’t sure if that was true.

***

The limousine drove up to the event, and Phil could have sworn that his heart stopped. The building was _huge_. It was elegant, definitely someone’s mansion. He could already see guests arriving. Everyone looked so proper and regal. For a moment, he felt terrified. He saw Dan reaching for the door handle, and he stopped the younger man by grabbing his wrist.

“What?” asked Dan. “What’s wrong?” his voice grew more concerned when he felt Phil start shaking.

Phil stuttered over and over before finding real words, “I-I-I can’t do this!”

“Of course you can,” Dan tried to sound calm, but he knew how Phil felt.

“No, I can’t! Look at these people,” he gestured out the window. “I don’t belong here!”

“Yes,” Dan rotated his body to completely face Phil, “you do. If you think anyone here truly has it together 100% then you’re fooled by the same illusion as anyone else. Nobody really has it completely together. Hell, there’s so many people here, that we forget each other’s names and then have to pretend not to notice. This event is just about representation, nothing more.” He took Phil’s hand into his own and gave it a squeeze. “You’re one of us.”

“I’m just so scared I’m going to make a fool of myself. Lord knows I’ve been good at that my entire life. That’s why I was hesitant to try modeling. I didn’t want to look stupid again…”

Dan was quiet for a moment. He unconscious ran his tongue over his lips and then gnawed his bottom lip, searching for the right words. “Trust me, Phil; we all have things from our past that haunt us that we cover up.” There were a million reasons not to say that, and only reason to say it, but he said it. As if it wasn’t enough. He decided to put the cherry on top. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Phil’s. Phil was taken by surprise for a quick second, but then he fell into it. The kiss was brief. Dan pulled away after only a few seconds, though he felt he could have stayed like that forever. “Let’s go.”

Phil managed a smile, “Alright.”

Dan and Phil stepped out of the limo and stood side by side. Dan gave Phil a moment to take everything in. Then, they went inside.

“Holy,” Phil had no other words. The place was beyond crowded with people, despite how large it was. There was white glove service, music, food, and more. If Phil didn’t know any better, he’d say that it was just an excuse to throw parties, but who was he to judge?

“Daniel,” said a voice.

Dan turned and smiled, “Ah, Mr. Jones,” he shook hands with the man. Mr. Jones was a larger man, and a little shorter than Dan and Phil. “How are you?”

“I’m well. I see you brought the new sensation,” Mr. Jones offered to shake Phil’s hand, and Phil accepted. “Nice to meet you, Philip.”

“Nice to meet you too,” replied Phil.

Mr. Jones shook his head in awe, “It’s amazing.”

“What is?”

“What? No one’s told you? Well you look just like him.”

In that instant, Dan felt his heart dropped into his stomach.

Phil looked at Mr. Jones with utter confusion. “Who do I look like?”

Yup, Dan was certain he was going to vomit.

“Nathan. Nathan Wilson?”

Phil shook his head, “I’ve never heard of him.”

Mr. Jones looked at Dan curiously, which caused Phil to become even more puzzled. Phil looked at Dan with a similar expression, waiting for an explanation.

“Excuse me,” said Dan, and he took off. Phil wanted to shoot Dan in that moment for leaving him alone, but Dan was already lost in the crowd.

Dan found the nearest toilet and closed and locked the door. He held onto the sink, trying to keep his food down. He felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead. When he looked up in the mirror, he could see that he was sickly pale. Slowly, he tried taking deep breaths. It had been so long since he felt this way. Normally, Nathan wasn’t brought up for obvious reasons. It was a combination of time’s eraser, and simply out of respect. However, Dan felt he should have known better. Bringing a doppelganger was bound to bring the subject to light. He wasn’t sure what was making him feel worse, the idea of having to relive the past, or the idea that Phil was _going_ to find out, no matter what.

Dan stayed in the toilet long enough to calm down. Once color came back to his face, he went back out there. When he approached Phil, Phil looked extremely worried.

“Are you okay?” asked Phil in a tone meant only for Dan’s ears. Dan’s only response was to nod. “Hey, who the hell is Nathan? People keep saying I look like him, and then when I say I don’t know who he is they look like they just read out of someone’s diary.”

“It’s not important, believe me,” insisted Dan. Phil knew he wasn’t going to get an answer while they were at the event, so for the time being, he gave up.

The rest of the night carried out a lot easier. Dan introduced Phil to people, everyone discussed what was happening in the companies, etc. Nothing bad happened, and nothing new was brought up. Dan couldn’t have been more relieved, but it wasn’t the end.

After the night’s end, Dan and Phil arrived back at the hotel. They were both exhausted, so mere minutes after getting back they were both in bed.

It was roughly 2:00 a.m. and Phil was dead asleep. He was, until he heard Dan scream. Bolting out of bed, he ran into Dan’s room, nearly throwing the door open. “Dan?” he shouted, panicked and scared. He saw Dan looking around frantically, breathing loud and heavily, clearly having just awoken. Phil sighed in relief; Dan was fine. It was just a dream. “Are you okay?”  Dan hadn’t stopped panicking. Phil went over to him, getting more worried. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dan.” He gently placed his hands on Dan’s shoulders. “Calm down, it was just a dream.” He then noticed that Dan’s face was stained with tears. “Oh my god! Dan what happened?”

Dan caught his breath, and then was able to reply, “Nothing. It was just a dream. I’m fine.” His voice wavered and cracked from sobs that were caught in his throat.

Phil looked at Dan as if he was crazy. “No, you’re not. You’re a mess.”

“Phil, just go back to bed. I said I’m fine.” Dan wished more than anything that Phil would just go back to his room. He knew that at any given moment he could burst into tears.

Phil didn’t know what to do. He really didn’t want to leave Dan like this. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, I understand. But, do you want me to stay?” He had no idea why he asked that question, but it felt right. Sure enough, Dan nodded yes. He climbed into bed, allowing Dan to lay with him. He put his arm around the younger man, pulling him closer. Dan rested his head on Phil’s chest and almost immediately fell back asleep.

Phil wanted to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t. It was bothering him. He wanted to know what had Dan so upset. Though, he was just glad that Dan was resting. He could feel that Dan’s breathing was slow and steady. For a moment, his thoughts drifted back to what everyone was saying, something about a guy named Nathan. That’s when he realized that the secret to his success was definitely _not_ the only secret Dan Howell kept locked tightly behind closed doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way DON'T KILL ME :)


	11. Chapter 11

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 11:

When the morning arrived, Phil was the first to wake up. His eyes slowly opened. For a moment, he had forgotten that he had fallen asleep in Dan’s bed. More than that, he had definitely forgotten that he had fallen asleep _holding_ Dan. It was strange. Dan felt so small. Phil didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so he just stayed put. It gave him time to think.

Nathan… Whoever it was, he must have meant a great deal to Dan. When Mr. Jones brought up Nathan, Dan immediately looked upset. Hell, Dan took off after the subject was brought to light. Phil wondered why that was.

It was hard, remembering last night. Not the act itself, but seeing Dan looking so upset and broken was painful for Phil. Phil never once imagined that Dan could lose it like that, and over what? Dan hadn’t wanted to tell him, but he didn’t want to be alone either. That told Phil that it was something really bad, painful even. He wondered, was Nathan someone Dan lost? An ex-boyfriend, maybe, but he had no idea.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened. “Hey, Dan,” said Tyler, not bothering to look up from his phone. “They gave me a key so I let myself in. How are you—” he looked up and saw Dan and Phil. He shrieked and turned around. “Shit! My bad.”

“Dammit,” groaned Dan as he sat up. “Tyler haven’t you learned to knock by now?”

Tyler glanced at them, and that’s when he realized they were wearing shirts. It was safe…maybe. “Sorry. I called you and you didn’t answer. After everything it didn’t occur to me that you’d be in the mood—”

“Tyler,” warned Dan.

“Sorry. But, Phil, not to be that guy, but I really need to talk to Dan.”

“Oh,” muttered Phil, now even more worried about Dan than before. “Okay.”

Tyler gestured behind him, “Do I need to step out? Are you guys, like, wearing any pants?”

“TYLER!” snapped Dan.

Tyler placed his hands up in surrender and backed out of the room. Dan pinched the bridge of his nose and allowed himself to fall backwards, his head colliding with the pillow. Phil didn’t say anything, but he was sick with concern. He got out of bed and walked into the other room.

“What’s going on?” he asked in a whisper. Tyler responded by zipping his lips. Phil sighed, “Tyler…I’m so worried. He woke up from a dream screaming and crying last night.” As soon as Tyler looked worried, that’s when he knew that his distress was justified.

Tyler held up his hand, “Just, don’t. Leave it to me for now.” He lowered his voice, “I’ll fill you in on details later, promise.” He walked past Phil and into Dan’s room, closing the door behind him. “Alright, talk to me.”

Dan was lying on his side, staring at seemingly nothing. “I took Nathan’s doppelganger to the first event.”

“So let me guess,” Tyler sat on the bed by Dan’s feet, “everyone mentioned that Phil looks like him.”

“What do you think?”

“I’m sorry,” was all Tyler had to say. He looked at Dan, trying to figure out what to do. No matter where they went for the next two months, people that knew Dan and knew Nathan were only going to bring it up more. Tyler didn’t blame Dan for not being able to handle it straight away; hell, if Dan _could_ handle it, that’s what would have him worried. “Phil told me about last night. What happened?”

Dan sighed. He wished Phil hadn’t said anything. “I saw it again. Like it was yesterday.” Tyler said nothing. His face showed clear concern, which only worsened when he saw tears gathering in Dan’s eyes. Dan swallowed, trying to push back the pain. “It was so clear. And when…” he stopped, bringing his hand to his mouth to stifle a sob. “When Phil came in here, I was so disoriented that for just a _moment_ I thought maybe I was finally waking from the nightmare, and that Nathan was alive. Then I realized the nightmare was real, and he’s still gone…”

“Dan…I’m sorry…” Tyler knew that no other words would make a difference. There was nothing he could do or say to make this better. All he could do was be supportive.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do… When I met Phil, I never expected to feel this way…” He sat up, but still stared ahead. Despite his unblinking eyes, tears rolled down his cheeks. “I’m terrified of losing someone I…someone all over again.”

Tyler sighed, “Someone you love.”

“I don’t want to say it. That would mean confirming it, and if I can avoid that right now then I’m going to. It’ll make things easier.”

“You can’t avoid it forever, because I can tell you that he feels the same way.”

Dan tore his gaze away from the empty space to look at Tyler. “What?”

“Just from how worried he seemed a minute ago, I can tell. Dan you have to tell him what’s going on. You have to tell him the truth.”

“No! I am not telling him. There’s no way!”

“Bitch, I had to postpone a date with Connor to come out here, and if I’m here just to watch you continue to push Phil away, I’m going to hurt you.” Dan eyes trailed away from Tyler. He looked ahead, his shoulders dropping as he sighed. Tyler stood up, knowing there wasn’t much more he could do. “I’m only here for today. All I can recommend is that you spend the day with him. See what happens. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Dan stood up as well. He walked over and embraced Tyler, which was slightly funny to both of them due to the height difference. “Thank you, Tyler.”

“You’re welcome, boo.” Tyler pulled away. He smacked Dan’s ass and then pushed him. “Now go have a good day with him.”

Dan laughed as he stepped out of the room. When he looked up, he saw Phil smiling.

“You seem to be doing better,” observed Phil. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” replied Dan. He managed a small smile. “Today’s a free day. We don’t have anything to do, so why don’t we go out for the day?”

Phil nodded, “Okay; that sounds nice.”

***

It was mid-afternoon. Dan and Phil were walking absentmindedly through the streets of Paris. There was no specific place they wanted to go; there was no destination. They walked together, talking quietly and taking in all the sights. Phil often stopped them in order to take pictures or look at something. Dan brought his camera with them so that he could take pictures for Phil. Granted, an IPhone took good pictures, but Dan’s camera was obviously much better. Dan’s personal favorite picture at the moment was the one he took of Phil posing with a street mime.

Dan was relieved. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stay happy throughout the day, considering that he now realized how much Phil looked like Nathan. However, there was something about Phil that made the pain go away. Dan found himself smiling, laughing even. It seemed that despite how much he was hurting earlier that morning, it had faded enough to feel nonexistent. He hoped deeply that it would stay that way.

The day continued on. Dan and Phil stopped at a café to eat, took a short tour through an art gallery, and were currently trying to flag down a cab. The sun had set, seemingly bringing another day to a close, but it was only just after 7:30 p.m.

“Where are we headed now?” asked Phil.

Dan nearly cheered when he finally succeeded in getting them a cab. He turned to Phil after they got into the car. “We’re headed back to the hotel, and then we can go out to eat.”

“Alright.”

Once they arrived at the hotel, they went up to their room. Tyler was on the couch watching “Say Yes to the Dress” when they walked in. He turned around, pausing the show in the process. “Hey,” he greeted. “How was the day out?”

“The city is _so_ beautiful,” answered Phil. “Dan showed me an amazing art gallery too.”

“I hate that you can’t take pictures of the art. Like, what am I going to do? Sell a _photo_ of a painting?”  Dan laughed.

Tyler chuckled as well, “Well I’m glad it was a good day. However, I have to get a move on. I have to catch a plane soon.”

Phil looked at Tyler with a confused expression. “You’re leaving already?”

“Well, I touched up the suit for next week, so there’s not much reason for me to stay. Plus, I have a date with Connor that I need to get to.” He winked.

“That didn’t take long,” Phil laughed.

“Damn right.”

Everyone laughed. There were a few moments of silence, which Dan broke. “I’m going to take a shower. Then we can head out.”

“Okay,” agreed Phil.

As soon as Dan locked the bathroom door and started up the shower, Tyler went over to Phil. Phil looked at him expectantly. Tyler gestured to the couch, and they both sat down.

“Tyler, what’s going on?” asked Phil. “He seemed really happy today, but I can tell that there’s something underneath.”

Tyler sighed, “If I tell you, you can’t address it. He’d kill me if he knew I told you, but you deserve to know.”

“Tyler just tell me. I won’t say anything, but you’re freaking me out.”

Tyler reached into his pocket and took out a photo. It was the photo from Dan’s wallet. “Nathan was Dan’s fiancé,” he began. He handed Phil the picture from Dan’s wallet. Phil stared at it his eyes wide.

“Oh my god,” he whispered.

Tyler nodded, “I know. I don’t think he realized it at first. Not until…” he trailed off.

“Not until yesterday. That’s when he started acting different. Last night...” He continued to look at the picture, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Nathan looked _so_ much like him. It was almost scary. He was definitely Phil’s doppelganger and vice versa. Phil handed the picture back to Tyler. “So he was Dan’s fiancé. Was, being the key word. What happened?”

“He’ll kill me if he knows I told you,” muttered Tyler as he put the picture away so he could put it back before Dan noticed it was missing.

“Like I said, I won’t say anything.”

Tyler sighed, and he started telling the story. “Dan was 21 when he first started working as a photographer at the company. He and Nathan were already together of course. They met when they were 18.”

“It was towards the end of their senior year. Nathan hired Dan to take his senior pictures.”

 _Dan was stood outside in a woodland area that people often went to in order to walk the paths in the fall time. The trees would change colors, making the trails beautiful. It was also a very popular spot for senior pictures. Nathan stood out in the field, following Dan’s direction. Dan was trying to find the best spot to complement Nathan’s appearance. His complexion was still_ slightly _tanned from the summer, so it was perfect to go alongside the orange, yellow, and red leafs that were soaring through the sky. Nathan had wonderful features. They were sharp, but his eyes were soft._

_“Okay, what pose do you want to do?” asked Dan._

_“Whatever you think would suit me,” replied Nathan, a small smile on his face._

_“Oh, don’t get me started,” mumbled Dan for only himself to hear. He adjusted his camera and looked through the lens. Go ahead and sit in the grass. Look out into the distance.” Nathan did as directed, and Dan began snapping picture after picture._

 “After that, the rest should have been history, but sadly that wasn’t the case.”

“When Dan got the job at the company, he persuaded them to hire Nathan as a model. After all, as you saw, Nathan was a beautiful boy, so they agreed. Dan wasn’t famous or even well-known at this point, so dating one of his models wasn’t a problem. The two of them took the company by storm. It wasn’t long before everyone knew who they were. By age 23, Dan was top dog at the company, and everyone knew who Nathan was. Everyone knew they were together too, and that just seemed to make things even better in the media.”

_Dan and Nathan were stood side by side in Paris at one of the many events. They talked with people easily. Everyone knew who they were. They were respected not only as members of the company but as people. Dan walked with Nathan, his hand around the man’s waist._

“Dan proposed to Nathan that same year, and Nathan said yes. I’d never seen Dan so happy.”

_It wasn’t a special location, but it was special to them. Dan took Nathan out to where they had taken Nathan’s senior pictures. He got down on knee and asked Nathan to marry him. Nathan’s hands flew to his mouth, trying to conceal the overwhelming emotion. With tears in his eyes, he nodded yes and jumped into Dan’s arms. They held each other, unexplainable amounts of happiness washing over them._

 “It was only a few months later when it happened. Dan was finishing up a shoot, and he was going to pick up Nathan afterwards. It was late, snowy, dark outside. As he driving, he heard the gun shot. Of course, it’s London. It was another crime. He stayed in his car for a few minutes, just to be safe. When he pulled up to where he was supposed to pick up Nathan, that’s when he found him.”

_Dan was driving. He had the wipers on in the car in order to push away the snow. The headlights from his car and streetlamps were the only light guiding his path. Suddenly, he heard a gunshot. His heart raced. Sometimes he hated living in London. He pulled over and stayed in his car, trying to stay calm. After a few minutes, he resumed heading to pick up Nathan._

_When Dan arrived, he could see someone lying on the ground. He darted out of his car and ran to them. Rolling the person over, he saw that it was Nathan, and Nathan had been shot. The wound was in his chest, right where his heart was. There was nothing Dan could do. Nathan was already gone, dead from the second the shot hit him. Dan held Nathan’s body close to him, and he wept._

“It wasn’t anyone that had a grudge, it wasn’t anything. It was just another crime. Nathan was a victim of circumstance, but Dan, Dan lost everything that night. He was never really the same after that.”

Phil had no idea what to say. He felt his heart breaking for Dan. That had to have been one of the saddest things he’d heard. Now it all made sense. Dan acted the way he did because it was a mask. Phil now wasn’t sure if it was really against the rules for Dan to date one of the models, but now he sure as hell understood why Dan didn’t want to. However, that raised a question.

“Does Dan have real feelings for me?” asked Phil. Tyler looked at him, as if expecting context to the question. Phil gestured to himself, “I’m not exactly a prize. I mean, I know I look like Nathan, but if he just now noticed that clearly didn’t have an effect. At least, I don’t think so. But until yesterday, I thought what Dan and I had going on wasn’t that serious. It was more of just this really frustrating tension. But…yesterday, it felt different, and now with this new information I don’t know what to think.”

“The real question is,” started Tyler, “do you have real feelings for him?” Phil was completely silent. “I’m asking because I’ve already watched that boy’s heart get destroyed. I don’t want to see that happened again.”

Tyler and Phil heard the shower water turn off, and both of them instantly panicked. Tyler cursed under his breath and darted for Dan’s wallet, putting the picture back and placing the wallet back in place. Phil didn’t feel he had a reason to be panicking, but he was. More than anything, it was Tyler’s question that was stressing him out. Yes, he had feelings for Dan. He couldn’t deny that at all. However, he was now afraid that Dan didn’t have feelings for _him_. He’d pointed out to Tyler that surely Dan did like _him_ because Dan hadn’t noticed the similarities in the past, but that observation had been more for his sake.

Tyler walked back out into the main area, his belongings in hand. “I have to go, but now you know the truth. Take care of him.” He left the room without another word.

Phil turned when he heard Dan stepping out of the bathroom. Dan was already dressed and drying his hair with a towel. “Almost ready?”

The emotions hitting Phil were powerful and confusing. He didn’t understand how he was feeling one bit, and sure as hell didn’t want to go anywhere in that moment. Despite that, Dan smiled at him, and he smiled back. “Yeah. Whenever you are,” he lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, don't kill me!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I decided to do another mid-week update! This means that the next chapter will be coming out Saturday. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is the much anticipated chapter of utter SIN that I know a lot of you have been waiting for. ;) Enjoy!

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 12:

Phil felt his stomach churning. What was happening? As he watched Dan walk back and forth through the rooms getting ready, he found himself feeling nearly heart broken. There was an undeniable fear coursing through him. What if Dan hadn’t fallen for _him_? He’d changed his entire life unconsciously, and for what? Deep down inside he knew, but he didn’t want to admit it.

“Are you ready?” asked Dan as he approached Phil.

Phil looked up at Dan from the couch. Dan was wearing a shiny, intricate, button-up shirt, and black skinny jeans. Dammit. He looked so _beautiful_ , and that was all the damn time. Phil got to his feet. He tried to think of the right thing to say. He should have just said something like, “sure” or “yes”, and moved along. However, all that came out was, “Why didn’t you tell me about Nathan?”

The horror that crossed Dan’s face made Phil regret his words immediately. Dan looked a mix of terrified, hurt, and overall just a mess. He stuttered wordless sounds, as if struggling deeply to form a sentence. After taking a deep breath, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I swear to god if _Tyler_ fucking—!”

“Dan!” snapped Phil. Dan looked up at him, his face showing a mix of worry and expectancy. “For god’s sake! I _googled_ his name! There’s an entire tribute page to him on the company website!” He was thankful that he technically wasn’t lying. As soon as Tyler left, he had searched up Nathan’s name on the company website out of sheer curiosity.

Dan said nothing, but his eyes were swimming with pain. Phil’s look immediately turned sympathetic. “And I am so sorry.” Dan still remained silent, his eyes unchanging. Phil sighed, “It’s just…was it ever me?”

“What?”

“Me, Dan. Did you ever have any feelings for _me_?”

Dan threw his arms up in frustration, “Jesus, Phil! Of _course_ I did! I _do_!”

“You can’t be mad at me for wondering! When you’re the twin to someone’s past lover you tend to wonder if the person you’re looking at is looking back at _you._ ”

Dan stepped closer to Phil, clearly getting angrier, “Phil why do you think I am the way that I am? If I’m a cocky asshole, people like you usually stay away from me!”

“People like me?” Phil looked at him with confusion and mild anger.

“Good people. People that can get hurt. Putting on a confident act is easy. I had one of the most amazing people as my fiancé,” he heard the gunshot again, and he felt his heart ache even more, “but the world took him from me.”

“Then why did you choose me?”

“As if I noticed? Hell if I had noticed I wouldn’t have even stuck around to get my order! I _hate_ being reminded of him!”

Phil stepped closer, lessening the space between them even more. “Then why don’t you just fire me?”

“I’m not going to do that! That isn’t fair to you and your career!”

“My _career_?” he shouted. “The only reason I started up this bloody career was because of _you_! I did this, all of this, because I wanted to see _you_!” Dan was taken aback. He had no idea. He knew that Phil was attracted to him, that was clear, but the idea that Phil made all of his choices to be around him? Phil stared at Dan, his fear of telling the truth slipping away, “I wanted to be around you. It was like you cast a spell. I couldn’t stay away from you. And then…” He paused.

Dan lightly shook his head, “No.”

“No?” Phil asked seeming almost offended.

“No! You can’t, we can’t, this can’t…!”

Phil rolled his eyes extremely frustrated. “Can’t what, Dan? If you don’t want to be around me anymore, fire me!” he raised his voice.

“No!” retorted Dan.

“Then I’ll quit!”

“You’re not going to quit!” Dan’s voice began to rise as well.

“Make up your fucking mind!” Due to confusion and anger, Phil didn’t think, and he reached out, harshly pushing Dan away from him.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Dan pushed him back, equally as hard. They glared at each other angrily, both of them stepping closer. The pure anger was seething out of them. They said nothing, both of them knowing anything that would slip out now would cause regret later. Then, Phil seized Dan’s shirt collar, roughly pulling the younger man to him and crashing their lips together. They kissed each other roughly, biting each other without ease, almost hurting each other.

Despite Phil shoving his tongue into Dan’s mouth, Dan was clearly still mad. Dan pinned Phil to the door by his shoulders and kissed him harshly, biting at his lips and forcing his tongue into the older man’s mouth. Phil was taken by surprise at first; but then again, angry sex did tend to get rough. Though, he was still surprised for it to come from Dan, considering the last time they kissed. That was always the rule of thumb wasn't it? The cocky bastards were submissive in bed? That's when Phil decided to test the waters.

Phil brought his arms up and shoved Dan off of him. Dan had only a moment to register what happened before Phil shoved him into the wall and took control of the kiss, pinning Dan with one hand. Phil firmly pressed his palm to Dan’s chest, and using his other hand, he grabbed at the back of Dan’s head, gripping his hair and holding him in place. Dan was shocked. The last thing he expected was for Phil to fight for control. Phil pinned him firmly to the wall with his entire body, much like he had done before. He explored Dan’s mouth, taking in everything. He continuously ran his tongue over Dan’s, right at the sweet spot, not bothering to be gentle one bit. Dan wasn’t sure how to react, other than to give in, which he didn’t want to do yet. He was still frustrated with Phil and wanted control, so he decided he'd give Phil the fight he wanted.

Dan twisted around, making Phil lose his grip. He grabbed Phil's wrists and yanked him close, imprisoning Phil close to his body. As he began to kiss Phil again, he started maneuvering them to the center of his room. Once they were in the room, he kicked the door closed. Previously, he had turned off the lights, so the room was almost pitch black aside from the moonlight seeping in through the window. He felt Phil fighting to get control of his arms back, so he quickly moved Phil towards the bed.

He pushed Phil onto the bed, and then swiftly climbed on top of him. In one swift movement, he seized Phil's wrists again and put all of his body weight on the model, pressing him down onto the mattress. He kissed the older man again, allowing himself to have the pleasure of tasting every inch of Phil’s mouth. Phil had to admit, not being in control was a bit of a turn on, but not as much as being _in_ control was. Twisting his wrists free, he grabbed Dan and rolled him, throwing him down onto the bed. He lowered himself on Dan, wrapping his legs on either side of him and holding him down. The second Dan raised his arms, Phil slammed them back down and held them in place. Phil noticed Dan’s Adam’s apple bob slightly, despite the angry look, and a smirk formed on his lips.

“Nervous from not being in control?” he asked in a snarky tone.

“No,” Dan replied, trying to sound nonchalant, despite the fact he was frustrated that Phil was fighting back. His tone was level, but his heart was slamming against his chest. Phil did his best not to laugh, but a small chuckle escaped, earning a glare from Dan. “I can get out of his position whenever I want to.”

“Oh? Then why haven't you?”

Dan had no response. He was thankful for the darkened room, as he was certain that his cheeks were burning. The wheels in his mind were turning, trying to figure out how to get out of Phil’s grasp without it resulting in a pathetic, futile attempt.

Phil didn't bother with any more words. He went back to kissing Dan, enjoying having the younger man in this position. Dan kissed back, despite feeling nervous about it for the first time in years. He’d had a few sexual partners, but not once had he been the one whose elbows were leaving imprints in his bed. Part of him wanted to continue to fight for control, but there was something about having Phil’s entire weight on him, pushing him down and keeping him locked in his current position.

Dan couldn't help himself, he tried to take control of the kiss, and it was quickly made known to him that he was in no position to do so. Phil sank his teeth into Dan’s lower lip and pulled as he broke the kiss. Dan was about to speak, but Phil latched his lips onto Dan’s neck, knowing that it would silence him from words. All that came out of Dan’s mouth was a moan, which he tried to suppress. Phil continued to kiss around Dan’s neck, looking for the exact area that would drive Dan crazy. Eventually, he kissed Dan towards the back of his neck, near where his neck was about to meet his shoulder. Dan took a sharp intake of breath and quickly pressed his lips together, trying to silence his sounds. His body writhed underneath Phil without his control.

Phil pulled away from Dan’s neck and simply gave Dan a look, “You're trying to stay quiet. That's cute.”

“Bite me,” retorted Dan, his eyes narrowing.

“Gladly,” Phil lowered back down and gently nipped at the exact spot on Dan’s neck. Dan involuntarily let out a quiet moan whilst squirming underneath Phil.

Phil nearly moaned himself, the friction from Dan’s movement sending pleasure throughout his body. In response, he started licking and sucking at the spot, making Dan move around even more. Dan couldn't hold it back anymore. He moaned much louder and bucked his hips up without even realizing his actions. Phil moaned into Dan’s skin, thankful for the perfect position they were in. Dan continued his actions, letting the sounds escape without hesitation now. He thrust his hips over and over, desperate for contact to his growing erection. Phil responded by grinding his hips down against Dan’s.

“F-fuck…Phil…” Dan groaned out as he moved with Phil. He breathed out, unable to control the moans that were involuntarily pouring out. Phil kept working on the spot, licking stripes along the area and grazing his teeth over it. He wondered if he could get Dan to come this way alone. Considering how Dan was reacting, he suspected that he might be able to pull it off. Dan clearly had an extremely sensitive neck, and that could be considered an understatement. The sensations he felt there were connected to everything else, making it incredibly easy to give him pleasure. It made sense; everyone had their second, personal g-spot, and this was definitely his.

Phil picked up the pace, grinding his erection against Dan’s much faster while still paying close attention to Dan’s neck. Dan was twisting around even more now, letting out loud moans and breathing heavily. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Phil could tell he was close. Suddenly, Phil felt Dan fighting to get control of his arms.

“Ph-fuck! Phil, l-let me—uh!” Dan couldn’t finish his sentence, but Phil knew what he wanted. Phil let go of Dan’s wrists and repositioned, now in an even better position to grind their members together. Dan’s hands flew to Phil’s shoulders. He grabbed at Phil tightly, keeping his right hand on Phil’s shoulder, and using his left hand to dig his nails into Phil’s back. His legs were wrapped around Phil’s waist as they moved together. Without warning, he moaned out very loudly, and his grip on Phil tightened to the point where it almost hurt Phil. Phil smirked, knowing Dan had just jizzed in his pants.

Dan fell back against the mattress, out of breath and exhausted. However, Phil didn’t give him much time to breathe. Before Dan could process the pleasure that had gone through him, Phil was stripping him down. He swiftly removed Dan’s shirt along with his own. Reaching down, he worked off Dan’s jeans with ease, revealing Dan’s soaked boxers. Dan felt his cheeks warm, and he avoided Phil’s gaze. Phil didn’t let him get away with it. He grabbed Dan’s face, forcing Dan to look him in the eye.

“Something told me I could get you off from just sucking your neck and grinding our bodies together,” he teased with a deep tone. Dan felt his erection twitching again from the sound of Phil’s deep voice whispering in his ear. “Now we’ll see what else I can do to you.” He swiftly pulled off Dan’s boxers and began stroking him. Dan threw his head back. He had already come, but Phil’s touch was something else.

Phil let go of Dan and wet his fingers. Dan looked at him confused, wondering why he stopped. Phil then began rimming Dan at the same time that he took Dan into his mouth. Dan gripped tightly at the sheets, unable to contain the ecstasy coursing through his body. Phil carefully inserted one finger into Dan. Dan was no virgin, but he clearly didn’t bottom very much, if at all. He was tight and he squirmed at Phil’s touch. Phil couldn’t help but to think about how good Dan was going to feel.

“I’m c-close!” warned Dan since Phil’s mouth was still wrapped around him.  Phil inserted a second finger and felt around carefully. His fingers brushed Dan’s g-spot ever so slightly, and he knew it instantly due to Dan’s loud reaction. “Oh fuck!” Phil smirked around Dan’s length, and he roughly pushed his fingers against the spot again, easily sending Dan over the edge a second time. He swallowed Dan’s load with ease, working him through his orgasm.

Dan lay back, breathing heavily. Coming twice back to back was exhausting. He had a few moments of relief while Phil was ridding himself of his pants and boxers, but soon enough Phil was back to fingering Dan, getting him ready.

“P-Phil,” Dan lazily breathed out. “God…”

Phil worked Dan until he decided that Dan was ready. He reached over and opened Dan’s suitcase expecting to find what he wanted in there. Sure enough, his fingers grazed over lube and condoms. Dan had been planning this night, and he knew it. He grabbed a condom and a bottle of lube. After slipping the condom onto his length, he coated Dan’s entrance with the cherry lube.

Dan was trying to catch his breath. He had hit twice already, but he knew it wasn’t over. Phil pushed into him a little, making sure to take it slow and easy since Dan wasn’t used to being stretched out. Dan winced and tightened his grip on the sheets. He took a few deep breaths and then gave Phil the green light to continue. Phil slowly pushed in until he bottomed out. Dan had to take a moment to adjust; it still hurt a lot. Phil leaned down to kiss Dan. He moved slowly, letting Dan get used to being full.

After a minute, Dan allowed Phil to start moving. Phil started with slow, long thrusts, causing Dan to moan even louder than before. Now, all Dan felt was pleasure. Phil angled his hips, searching for Dan’s sweet spot. Eventually he found an angle that caused Dan to nearly scream in ecstasy. He brought his head down and kissed Dan again, silencing him for a moment before even kissing wasn’t enough to keep him from being loud. Dan released the bedsheets and brought his hands up to grab at Phil’s back. He held on tight, trying to bring Phil as close as humanly possible.

Phil quickened his pace, unable to hold himself back anymore. The bed’s headboard was beginning to bang against the wall do to how roughly he was slamming into Dan. Dan was kissing Phil with hot, open-mouthed kisses that were often interrupted by either of them moaning and trying to catch their breath.

“Fuck! Phil!” shouted Dan as he dug his nails into Phil’s back, gripping as tightly as possible. Phil moved his mouth to Dan’s neck again, biting and sucking at the tender area. Dan thought he might fall completely apart from the unbearable amounts of pleasure that flowed throughout him. “Fuck! Fuck! Uh! I—!” The words melded into loud moans as he thrusted his hips to meet Phil’s, trying to fuck himself on Phil as hard as possible.

Phil quickened his pace, though he tried to keep it from getting too fast. He wanted to last as long as possible and continue to fuck Dan until the younger man was trembling beneath him. He settled into a steady pace, keeping his rhythm, but making sure it was enough to continue to give Dan pleasure. Judging by the sounds Dan was making, he knew he was in the right position, hitting Dan’s prostate with each thrust.

Dan had no idea how to process and contain all of the ecstasy he was receiving. Not once in his life had he bottomed before, and now he wished he had sooner, because he was completely falling apart underneath Phil. His legs felt like jelly and were beginning to lightly shake. He felt Phil smirk into their kiss. He couldn’t help but to feel incredibly embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do about it. Phil returned to sucking on his neck, and he swore he was going to lose it. A sound that was nearly a whine came from him. He clamped his mouth shut, mortified that Phil was making him come unglued.

“If I…didn’t know any better…I’d say…you’ve never bottomed before,” breathed out Phil in between moments of catching his breath. Dan said nothing, more like he was unable to say anything. Phil smirked. “You haven’t.” He realized he had two options. He could either have mercy and ease up a bit, or he could give Dan all he had and watch the cocky bastard fall to pieces.

That’s when Dan let his pride get the better of him. “I…haven’t. Is this…all you’ve got?” he managed despite barely being able to breathe. Phil’s decision was made for him in that moment.

Phil quickened his pace, and he was relentless. Dan threw his head back, nearly screaming as he did so. Phil knew he was going to come soon, but he’d be damned if he let go _too_ soon. He kept his harsh pace, thrusting harder. Dan couldn’t control anything anymore. He screamed out loudly, unable to do any other action to express what he was feeling, and he couldn’t contain it either. He trembled underneath Phil. Once Phil felt that, he came, no longer able to hold back. He didn’t hesitate to collapse on Dan, completely exhausted. Both of them were coated in sweat, their fringes sticking to their foreheads. They both heaved heavy breaths loudly, unable to catch their breath.

Phil pulled out of Dan and then fell back on him, not having the strength to move off of the younger man. “Are you okay?” he asked, actually a little worried he was too rough. He could feel Dan still shaking beneath him.

Dan nodded, “I shouldn’t have…opened my mouth…” His body trembled. He tried to still himself, but it was useless. He had no control over his body. All he could do was try to catch his breath. Phil rolled off of him, lying next to him and breathing heavily. Slowly, he rolled over so that he could lie on Phil, resting his head on Phil’s chest. “I’m sorry…”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you… I can’t imagine going through what you went through.” Phil maneuvered and kissed Dan’s forehead. It was something light and tender, something that was comforting.

“Where do we go from here?” asked Dan in a quiet voice.

“Let’s get through this trip, and then we’ll figure something out. I don’t care what the rules are. I want to be with you.”

Dan shifted, moving so he could bring their lips together. They lay together, exchanging gentle kisses. Dan felt his heart breaking. He didn’t know what they were going to do. If they were ever found out, it would be an absolute nightmare. However, as he felt Phil’s lips move with his, he made himself a promise that he wouldn’t let the world take away the person he loved, not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! Let me say, that took forever. Repetition tends to be a problem when both people have the same genitalia XXD But anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed that, and I will see you for Saturday's update. I'm just going to say now, that it's a game changer for the story. See you then ;)  
> P.S. I'm probably going to hell for this, so I'll see you beautiful sick fucks there as well XD


	13. Chapter 13

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 13:

No alarms. No obligations. No reason to awaken early. Dan and Phil slept in that morning, until just after 10:00 a.m. When they awoke, neither of them said anything at first. They lay in each other’s arms, letting the morning pass by. Phil found himself gingerly running his fingers through Dan’s hair, which had curled when it dried through the night. He played with the ringlets, intertwining them in his fingers and then combing them out. Dan curled up closer to Phil, wrapping his left arm around Phil’s stomach. He was getting slowly lulled back to sleep by Phil’s gentle touches.

“Mmm…Phil, you’re going to make me fall back asleep,” he groaned despite the smile on his face.

Phil chuckled lightly and continued his actions. “Then go back to sleep. It’s a free day until this evening. Get some rest.”

Dan maneuvered away from Phil and repositioned so that their noses were touching. “But if I sleep that means I’m not spending time with you.”

Phil tilted his head and moved forward ever so slightly, bringing their lips together. He captured Dan’s bottom lip between his teeth and pulled. “Well, then what do you want to do today?”

“I don’t know,” Dan pecked at Phil’s lips. “Maybe we can,” he kissed the older man’s cheek, “visit another museum,” then jaw, “or share something in a café,” then neck. He nipped at Phil’s neck, careful not to leave a mark despite wanting to.

“I think you’re, uh,” Phil lost his train of thought as Dan trailed kisses down his chest. “I was saying something,” he commented, trying to remember, but Dan continued trailing down all the way to his stomach. Phil moaned quietly, moving with Dan’s touches. “Dan…” Dan ignored Phil’s words, only focusing on his body. He began lightly stroking Phil. “Dan…”

Phil’s protests were cut short when Dan took the older man’s length into his mouth. Phil couldn’t suppress his sounds when Dan began to effortlessly deep throat him. Dan brought his head up to tease the slit with his tongue and then went back down. It didn’t take him long to push Phil over the edge, causing the older man to spray down his throat. He pulled away and then lay next to Phil, putting on an innocent look. Phil stared back at him completely flabbergasted.

“That was unexpected, but really nice,” he said breathlessly. He rolled onto his side to kiss Dan again, his cheeks turning slightly red when he tasted himself.

Phil moved way from Dan’s lips to the younger man’s neck. He bit and sucked where he knew Dan loved it the most. Dan smiled, almost giggling from the mix of erotic yet tender touches that Phil was giving to him. Phil lay on top of Dan, still kissing the same area, though now his kisses were much softer. He was adding just enough pressure for it to feel good. Dan curled his fingers in the bed sheets, taking it all in. Last night had been hard, rough, and fast. In that moment, everything was ginger and delicate.

Dan ran his hands up and down Phil’s arms admiringly, baring his neck for more kisses. Phil continued as he reached down to stroke Dan. He didn’t move fast whatsoever. Everything was slow. Dan felt tingles of pleasure going up his spine, causing him to wiggle around a little from the sensations. Quiet moans and gasps escaped him as Phil managed to touch him in all the right places. They moved together with ease, already becoming familiar with each other’s bodies. Dan moved his head to hint to Phil that he wanted to kiss him again. Phil caught on and kissed Dan gingerly, still carefully stroking him.

That kiss was by far the most slow and calm, and they loved it. They kissed each other slightly open-mouthed, taking turns running their tongues over each other’s. Dan brought his hands up, cupping Phil’s face with his right hand and holding the back of the model’s neck with his left hand. Every movement was incredibly sensual, and neither of them could have possibly felt more blissful.

It was late-afternoon by the time Dan and Phil were ready to go out for the day. They had taken a shower—together—and were debating where to go for the day. Eventually, they decided to go to the restaurant they skipped the night before for an early dinner. There was going to be food at that night’s event anyway, so it worked out well.

Dan and Phil stepped out of the hotel room together, pausing for a moment so Dan could lock the door. Phil turned his head quickly; he could have sworn he saw something, a flash of light.

“What is it?” asked Dan.

Phil shook his head, “Nothing. Let’s just head out.”

“Alright,” Dan quickly pecked Phil on the lips and then led the way.

***

The restaurant was absolutely beautiful. Dan managed to get himself and Phil a very nice table. It was amongst others in the back, all of which were considered more “private” tables. They were decently spread apart and far away from the busier parts of the restaurant. The room was lit by lights that were strung across the ceiling, which were also intertwining through the openings on a tall, white arch. You had to walk under the arch to get to the tables in the back, giving it a garden-like atmosphere.

Dan and Phil were seated towards the back by a window that gave them a wonderful view of the Eiffel Tower. Phil couldn’t help but to smile looking out at the structure.

Dan ordered their drinks, and soon they were each poured a glass of wine. “Let’s not get carried away this time.”

Phil laughed, “You can say that again. One glass. Done. End of story.”

“I’ll keep you in check,” he winked.

Time passed. They both ate dinner, having various conversations throughout the meal. They had both almost finished their glasses of wine. The conversation had died down, and they were now just simply looking at each other. Dan looked into Phil’s eyes. God, as cliché as it sounded, it felt like being lost at sea. Phil was just so _beautiful_. So many emotions were overcoming him. He didn’t know what to say; he felt he shouldn’t say anything.

“I love you…” he whispered.

The expression on Phil’s face was a mix of shock and incredibly gleeful. “What?” he asked, his voice also dropping to a lower volume.

Dan felt mortified that he had slipped up like that, but there was no going back. He let his heart do the rest of the talking. “I love you. I could attempt to think of a million other phrases to express how I feel about you, but none of them do it justice. Hell, I don’t know if saying that I love you does how I feel justice. And I want you to know that I do love _you._ I understand your concern, what you said last night.”

“Dan, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, it was completely justified. But, it’s far from the truth. When I first saw you, I wanted you so badly to work for me. At least, that’s what I thought. I had no idea that, it was simply that I wanted _you_ so badly. I looked at you, and you were so beautiful. Everything about you pulled me in. It was like gravity. Then, I enjoyed flirting with you, acting the way I usually do. But you did something to me; I’m not sure what, but something. Next thing I knew I was calling Tyler like a teenage girl, just freaking out.” He chuckled. “It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. Then we came here. I kissed you by the Eiffel Tower, and I realized that there was only one other time in my life that I had felt that way. That’s when I realized that I had fallen.”

“Dan…” whispered Phil. Light tears were gathering in his eyes.

Dan smiled softly, tears also making an appearance on his face. “You stole my heart. You took all the pain that I have felt the past two years, and you somehow made it seem almost nonexistent. You did what nobody else could do. What no amount of consoling, grief counseling, what none of that shit could do.” Stray tears rolled down his cheeks, but he kept going. “You took me, broken and in pieces, and you put me back together with your constant smiles and laughs. You saw past my mask, and you chose me even though you knew what was really there, and I can’t thank you enough for that.” He wiped away the tears quickly, and he smiled again. “I love you so much.”

Phil was busy wiping away his own tears before he could reply. “I love you too. I never could have imagined this life, or these feelings happening. I never thought something like this could happen to me, but it did. And I feel so lucky. Because what most people don’t know, including you, is that behind the mask you wear, is one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met, and I have no idea how I got him to fall in love with me. I’m so grateful.”

Both men took a moment to just smile at each other, slowly wiping away the tears of joy. Soon after, the waitress came by to give them the check. Dan used the company card, and then they got up to leave. As they walked through the restaurant, Dan spotted a crowd of people outside. His heart raced. Was that paparazzi?

Dan opened the door the restaurant, and it was a zoo. Camera’s flashed, and phone’s that were recording were being shoved in their faces. It wasn’t just _some_ paparazzi, it was an entire hoard.

“Mr. Howell what do you have to say about the pictures?” asked a man.

Dan’s heart slammed in chest. What was happening? “What pictures?” He regretted asking immediately. Suddenly phone’s all around were showing pictures of him and Phil leaving their room, and worse, there were pictures of them kissing right after Dan locked the door.

“Doesn’t he work for your company?”

“What do you have to say about this?”

“Do you have any comments regarding noise complaints about your hotel room?”

The last question made Dan’s entire face light up so _red_ that there was no doubt in his mind that the cameras were capturing it. Phil’s cheeks were also dusted crimson, but he stayed completely silent. Dan felt sick to his stomach; there was nothing he could do. The proof was in those damn pictures.

“I have nothing to say,” he stated calmly. That only made things worse. The comments buzzed louder and louder. _FUCK IT._ “Come on, Phil,” he grabbed Phil’s hand, and began weaving them through the crowd of buzzards. He didn’t care if there were now pictures of them holding hands, it was too late. Dan quickly flagged down and cab and let Phil get in first. More than anything he wanted to flip off every person with a camera, but instead he repeated, “I have nothing to say.” He stepped into the car and closed the door.

After telling the driver to take them back to the hotel, he curled up in his seat, overwhelmed with anxiety and frustration. It was over, his career and everything regarding it was completely over. Phil sat next to him in silence, having no idea what to say. What could Phil possibly say? It was equally as much his fault as it was Dan’s. Neither of them thought that someone would be lurking right outside their room, and that was where they were both severely wrong. Dan sighed quietly, trying to internalize all of his emotions. He wanted to yell and scream, but obviously that wouldn’t do any good. All he could do was wait for them to get back to the hotel. Then, as if things couldn’t get any worse, his cell phone began to ring. It was his boss.

End of Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that's right. End of part ONE! There is much more to come. However, I am going to be going on a hiatus. For the month of December I'll be gone, but I'll be working on part two. Winter break is finally here, so I'll be using this free time to make you guys get an awesome story. 
> 
> Also, I'd like to say thank you to everyone that has commented to far. I wasn't sure if this fic would get even ten comments, so I sure as hell wasn't expecting over 100. I'd like to give a shout out to everyone that was kind enough to say something, so here's the list.
> 
> apieformydean  
> howltergasm  
> kingphilqueendan  
> MEOW_I_am_a_cat  
> Reyna  
> pink_fluffy_unicorn  
> World_of_anime_webcomics  
> Basl415  
> cynx_17_kh  
> Bethie  
> Emily  
> Ryn H.  
> Jane  
> OnlyFoolsFall  
> elizabeth_isnotonfire  
> jorjor  
> Phangirl  
> Julielife  
> blaksy  
> lalagirl108  
> UR MUM LOL  
> George89  
> ThatNormalCrazyGirl  
> Littleworldofobsessions  
> Daaishi  
> pondify  
> floweryiero  
> Lynive  
> Cumberbabe_fangirl  
> Rylee  
> that guy  
> and of course any "guests" on here that left comments :)
> 
> Thank you to all of you. If any of you want to say hi or anything in the mean time, you can find me on other social media.  
> Tumblr: Phangirl-landphil  
> Twitter: followurdream97
> 
> I will see you guys in the new year! Thank you again so much! Love you guys <3 bye bye~


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back! I hope you guys had a great winter break ^.^ 
> 
> I'm starting up part 2 now, and I should still be updating weekly. Here's chapter 14! I hope you guys enjoy ^-^

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 14:

“I have a non-fat, no whip, white chocolate mocha for Brenda,” called out Phil as he set the drink on the counter. A young girl came up, grabbed her drink, and walked away without a thank you, unsurprisingly. Phil sighed quietly to himself. He honestly hadn’t expected to have to go back to his old job, but he had.

After the news was leaked about him and Dan, it didn’t take long for things to fall apart. Dan lost his job at the company. They informed him that he might be able to come back in the future, but for the time being, he was done. Because of this, Phil inevitably lost his job as well, forcing him to return to his previous one. Dan, on the other hand, had made quite a living and wasn’t looking for new employment yet. Phil was certain that Dan was far too upset to look for new work. He didn’t blame Dan at all. Dan had his dream job, and he lost it. Phil couldn’t help but to feel responsible.

There was only one up side to everything. Dan and Phil didn’t have to hide anymore. If they wanted to hold hands in public, they could. Despite everything that happened, they stayed together. They knew that through it all, there was no way they were going to give each other up. Now, they saw each other regularly. Though everything was hard, for the first time they were able to act like a real couple, and that always made things better. When they struggling, they could hold each other no matter where they were.

After his shift ended, Phil took a cab to Dan’s apartment. Yes, it was an apartment, but he owned the entire floor. Phil had a key, so he let himself in incase Dan was taking a nap. He walked inside to see Dan on the couch watching a show.

“Hey,” he greeted.

Dan’s head turned, and a small smile formed on his lips. “Hey,” he responded. He waited for Phil to sit next to him on the couch before continuing. “How was work?”

“I hate my work.” Phil began imitating his costumers in a high pitch voice. “Make sure it’s non-fat. Ew, whip cream, that stuff is fattening. I ordered three shots and I only taste two.” He huffed, tossing himself to the side to land on Dan. “People are stupid, bear.”

Dan chuckled, “I can agree, but what I don’t understand is why you must call me that.” He leaned down to plant a kiss on Phil’s cheek.

“I told you. You’re great for cuddling, and how kind you are makes me think of Winnie the Pooh from when I was a kid.”

“I used to watch that too. That probably explains my ‘articulate’ voice,” he used air quotes for the word “articulate”. He laughed lightly. Soon enough, he was capturing Phil’s lips with his own. Phil gingerly pushed him back, moving them so he could lie on top of Dan on the couch. It was nice, having privacy. They no longer had to worry that someone was coming or that they’d be found out. They could be themselves together now, no strings attached.

Phil often stayed the night with Dan. Usually it was peaceful. Phil would either let Dan lie on his chest, or he would spoon the younger man. However, some nights, like that night, were not as quiet.

Dan often still had nightmares. He would awaken screaming, crying, unable to calm down. The night terrors were always awfully vivid flashbacks. However, lately, he had been dreaming about losing Phil the same way he lost Nathan. He hadn’t told Phil that his dreams had changed. The last thing he wanted was for Phil to worry more than he already did. He just wished the dreams would go away.

“NO!!!” screamed Dan as he bolted upright. His face was already damp with tears. He scrambled around, disoriented from awakening from a night terror.

“Dan, Dan!” Phil gently touched Dan’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” he whispered. Dan turned to see Phil, and he immediately fell into the older man’s arms. He was a sobbing mess. What he saw was too real for him to handle in those moments. Phil held him close, feeling extremely guilty for never knowing what to do. Phil always did his best to calm Dan, but sometimes there was nothing he could do but provide comfort. It was times like these that he truly wished he looked different.

***

Saturday afternoon was quiet. Dan was in his living room trying to relax. He knew that Phil would be over after going on a run. Even though Phil’s modeling days were over, he stayed with the schedule that Dan had laid out; it kept him healthy. Checking the time, Dan saw it would be about another half an hour before Phil would arrive. He kicked his feet up onto the coffee table and opened his computer. It was always a frustrating process going through his emails. All he had now was spam emails from people that weren’t aware of his newly acquired unemployment status.

A loud, repetitive buzzing sound from Dan’s cellphone snapped him out of his mindless scrolling. The screen said “Mum” and had the option of answering or declining. He wanted nothing more than to click the red icon, but he answered the call nonetheless.

“Hi, Mum,” he greeted somberly. He could hear his mother sigh on the other line.

“Hi, sweetie,” she replied, her voice slightly impatient. “How are you?”

Dan suppressed a hefty sigh that he wanted to let out. “I’m fine, mum.” He didn’t mean to come across as irritated, but this was the third time his mother had called that month. Normally, she didn’t call at all. Now all of a sudden she was “concerned” about him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing really. Just waiting for my show to start. What have you been up to? Have you found work yet?” Her voice was coated sweetly, but Dan could still hear the irritation.

“No, mum. And I’m not looking. I lost the one job I really wanted, so I’m not up to look for another right now. You and dad need to just deal with that.” He kept his tone calm, but inside he felt a mix of hurt and anger. His parents never cared unless he was failing, and he thought he’d finally escaped that cruelty.

His mother sighed, “Daniel. You need to look for something. You did this to yourself, and now you need to be an adult and fix it.”

“Paparazzi are sleezebags; that’s not my fault.” Dan’s voice was beginning to rise from frustration.

“You knew the rules, and you willingly broke them.”

“Okay! I fucked up! Are you happy now?” Dan clicked off his phone and tossed it aside. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, attempting to keep himself from having another break down. It always hurt him to be reminded that his parents only bothered with him if he was screwing up. It had been that way his entire life, and it was the last thing he needed, especially now. His phone began to vibrate, and he answered it without so much as looking at the screen. “What?” he shouted.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is this a bad time?” asked Tyler, his voice a mix of hesitant and sassy.

Dan sighed, “Sorry, Tyler. I thought it was my mum calling back.”

Tyler made a hissing sound through his teeth. “Ooo… Bitches R Us pestering you about work?”

“To say the least. After all, it was my fault, so I need to be an adult and fix it.”

“Wow,” sighed Tyler. “What the fuck did they teach her in mom school?” Tyler began using an annoying, valley girl voice. “Alright class, remember, never pay attention to your children. _Unless_ they make one little mistake. You can’t let them get away with that shit. Mmm mm. No, that’s bad shit.” He smiled when he heard Dan laughing a little. “Also, don’t forget that if they’re not perfect, there’s a problem ‘cause you’re totally giving birth to little baby Jesus’ they’re gonna be all cute and shit.”

Dan knew he shouldn’t be laughing, because all of Tyler’s statements were painfully true, but Tyler always managed to put a funny spin on terrible things. “Tyler, stop,” he barely managed through his laughter.

“That’s not what I heard last night, baby boy. You know better than to say no to daddy.”

“Oh my, oh my god!” his laugh dropped to a low tone because of how _hard_ he was cracking up. “Shut the fuck up. We both know in this relationship I’m daddy.”

Tyler scoffed. “From what I heard, you nearly lost your voice screaming your head off getting pounded into the mattress. Soooo…”

Incoherent sounds of protest were all that came out of Dan’s mouth. He was glad Tyler wasn’t there to see the vibrant shade of red that he’d acquired across his cheeks. “Shut it!”

“I believe ‘shaking like a Chihuahua’ was the phrase I was told.”

“I’m going to punch Phil in the neck.”

“Oh, it’s not his fault. I practically held him at gun point to get the deats as soon as I heard you bottomed.”

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re at your apartment, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The window that has a lovely view of the street, feel free to jump out of it. Just, head first.” Dan whistled for the sound of something soaring.

Tyler chuckled. “Well, anyway, don’t listen to that hoe. Normally I’d stab her for you, but Christmas is right around the corner. Father Christmas would be like, ‘Ho, Ho!’ because one hoe, died.” Dan burst out laughing, making him smile. He always did his best to make Dan laugh when Dan was upset. “Speaking of Christmas, do you still want to come over this year, or did you make plans with Phil?”

“Uh,” Dan hesitated. “Well, Phil doesn’t…he doesn’t know about the whole…thing.”

Tyler allowed his eyelids to droop in an annoyed manner. “So, you’re boyfriend doesn’t know that you don’t visit, speak to, like, your family?”

Dan sighed, “No. And I’d like to keep it that way so he doesn’t have more to worry about.”

“Well that’s healthy.”

“Shut up.” Dan heard keys jiggling in the door. “Oh, he’s home. I’ll call you later.”

Tyler’s eyes widened. “Bitch, did you just say he’s _home_?”

“Uh…” Dan felt his cheeks flush. He hadn’t realized what he’d said, but he’d said it. “I have to go.”

“You son of a bitch; don’t you dare ha—!”

Dan ended the call and tossed his phone aside just in time. Phil walked into the living room, his fringe sticking to his forehead from sweat.

“Hey, bear, how’s your day been?” He wrapped his arms around Dan from behind and planted a kiss on the younger man’s cheek.

“Alright,” replied Dan.  Phil sat on the couch next to him, wrapping him in an embrace. He leaned against Phil, curling his legs up onto the couch. “How was your run?”

Phil sighed, “Tiring. But it was good. We should run together sometime.”

Dan smiled, “We should.” He tiled his head up, nudging Phil’s nose with his own. Phil grinned and rubbed his nose back before bringing their lips together. He carefully maneuvered his body so he could push Dan back and lie on top.

Dan easily moved backward, having gotten used to this routine. He swung his right leg up so that his thigh could wrap around Phil’s waist while his ankle rested on the edge of the couch. Carefully, he brought his arms up, placing one hand on the small of Phil’s back and allowing the other to tangle in the former model’s hair. Phil rolled his hips gently, moving with Dan in perfect rhythm. Dan let out quiet moans as he let Phil take over completely. He’d gotten used to submitting, though he would never admit to anyone besides Phil that he liked it. Despite having done this dozens of times now, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to the bliss and ecstasy.

Later into the night, Dan and Phil were cuddled up together on the couch, letting Netflix play in the background. Occasionally they took a few minutes to pay attention, but mostly it was a mix of dozing off and exchanging lazy kisses.

The episode ended, bringing up the menu to display that the next episode would start in 20 seconds. Dan and Phil turned to look each other while nothing important was on the screen. It was quiet, allowing the sounds of the apartment settling to be heard ever now and again. Phil decided to make some conversation since they hadn’t talked very much in a while.

“So, what are you plans for Christmas?” he asked.

Dan’s mind raced momentarily. “Uh, not much. Just visiting family.” He technically wasn’t lying. Over the years, Tyler’s family had become like his own. Back when Nathan was around, he wasn’t on good terms with his folks either. The Oakley family was always kind enough to have both him and Dan around.

Phil smiled, “That’s nice.” He hesitated, but then he began. “Dan, I know it’s a lot to ask, but if it’s alright, could I maybe spend the holidays with you? My parents are both going to their own parents homes since my grandparents are getting old, and my brother has his wife and kids.” He noticed the worried look on Dan’s face. He felt slightly guilty for asking along with embarrassed. “Eh, don’t worry about it.”

“No, no, Phil, it’s not that.” Dan’s eyebrows knit seeing the worried and confused expression on Phil’s face. He sighed. “The truth is; I don’t visit my real family.”

“What?” questioned Phil in a quieter voice, feeling like the topic deserved to be discussed with care. “Why not?”

“My family isn’t the greatest. My parents never really showed me any affection. They only ever had a talk with me if I did something wrong.” He took a quiet, deep breath, trying to keep all emotions at bay. “The only time they ever once said they were proud of me was when I got my previous position as a photographer. Other than that, nothing. They don’t call. They just don’t care.” Before he could say another word, he found himself in a tight embrace.

Phil tightened his grip on Dan, his heart breaking for the younger man. “I am so sorry… That is _terrible_ …”

“It’s okay. That’s why I said I don’t visit my real family. I visit my true family instead. Tyler has me over with his family for the whole week before Christmas and for New Years. It’s the sweetest thing.”

“If you can do that this year I want you to. Don’t worry about me.” Phil pulled away and smiled at Dan.

Dan thought for a moment, and a small grin appeared. “What am I thinking? You can come to. I know his family won’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I’ll text him right now.” Dan reached over to the coffee table and grabbed his phone. He quickly texted Tyler asking if Phil could come along for Christmas. It wasn’t long before his phone sounded in his hand.

**Tyler:**

**No shit, of course he can. It’s just going to be me and my mom this year anyway. Just if you share a room, keep it down. Queen Jackie will not hesitate to come in and whoop your ass if you keep her up. ;p**

Dan and Phil laughed reading the text. Dan nudged Phil playfully. “See? I told you.”

Phil chuckled, “Alright. I guess we’re all set then. I can’t believe how close it is. Only a few more weeks.”

“Yup. Then we’re headed out to Michigan. It’s going to be cold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that! As usual you can follow me on social media for sneak peeks and more phan related content :3
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: Phangirl-landphil
> 
> See you guys next week!


	15. Chapter 15

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 15:

It was snowing. Phil looked up at the pale grey sky as white fluff fluttered down slowly. It was such a calm day that even the snow wasn’t in a hurry to reach its destination on earth. Though it was below freezing outside, Phil needed the peace and quiet. He was sat on a bench at the park where he frequently went on runs. Stuffing his hands into his coat’s pockets, he brought his down and looked at the white that graced the ground. He needed to think.

Dan’s depression was getting worse. He was much less motivated to do much of anything anymore. He was still caring and loving to Phil, but Phil was watching the life drain from his eyes every day. It killed Phil on the inside to watch the man he loved falling apart. There were also little, worrisome things that were getting more frequent.

One night, Dan and Phil were at Dan’s apartment getting ready to have dinner together. They had been cooking with each other, holding up different things for the other to taste and exchanging hot, passionate kisses pressed against the counters. It seemed like it was going to be a perfectly normal night, but then something happened. Dan was about to set the table. He grabbed two plates from a cabinet and turned around. When he looked at Phil, it just so happened that Phil was standing in a space the exact same way that Nathan had once. For a moment, it was like an incredibly painful deja vu for Dan. He felt dizzy and dropped the plates in shock. Phil rushed to him immediately. He almost had a breakdown right there.

Later that night, Dan had another night terror that resulted in awakening screaming and weeping. Phil held him close, trying to calm him. As he held Dan close, he felt his heart aching. Though he knew it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help but to feel guilty. He couldn’t fix what happened. It wasn’t until that night that Phil had realized that the loss of Nathan had truly caused a form of PTSD for Dan, and it broke his heart to know that there was nothing he could do to repair that.

Phil checked the time. 11:56 a.m. He needed to head out.

It wasn’t a very far walk. Phil made his way to down the road up and to a house. He knocked on the door gently, knowing it would be heard. Soon enough, the door opened up.

“Hey, Chris,” greeted Phil with a smile.

Chris gestured for Phil to come inside. “Come on in, Phil.” Phil stepped inside, walking past him. He closed the door behind them. “Scotch or Whiskey? Ya know, at noon.”

Phil made a “hmm” sound. “Scotch on the rocks. And it’s the 5 o’ clock somewhere.”

“Coming right up.” Chris made his way into the kitchen alongside Phil. Phil sat down while he opened up the cupboard where he kept his liquor. “So how’ve you been? Things must be a little rough if you asked if we could have a drink while catching up.”

Phil shrugged, “I mean it could be better. But things are pretty good. How are things with you? I know you left the dream job,” his voice dripped with sarcasm.

Chris laughed, “Ah, yes, I miss the smell of chocolate and bitches in the morning.” Phil laughed along with him. “Yeah I mean the job at Best Buy isn’t exactly a whole lot better since people are fucking stupid, but it pays a lot better.”

“Money is a wonderful thing, my friend.”

“I bet you’d know all about that. Speaking of, what happened? I never really found out why you lost your job in the first place.”

Phil sighed and gave a small chuckle, “Well, you’re in for quite a story.” Chris poured him his scotch and handed it to him as he sat down next to him. He took a swig before beginning. “So the guy that hired me, Dan, he and I spent a lot of time flirting from the beginning. It was very obvious that we were interested in each other, but as soon as I started working for him we weren’t allowed to have anything between us.” Chris nodded, urging him to continue. “Well, after a while things started getting more heated between us. While in Paris,” he cheeks flushed.

Chris’ jaw dropped. “Did you bang him?”

Phil laughed and nodded shyly while his face continued to burn. “Yeah…”

“Nice!”

“Shut up! Anyway, that happened, and as we were leaving the hotel room, someone took a picture of us kissing. It spread everywhere and before we knew it paparazzi were following us asking about it and making a huge mess of things.”

“No way! Dude, that sucks.” Chris took a sip of his Whiskey.

Phil drank some more Scotch before continuing. “Yeah. So, needless to say, his boss called, and we both got fired.”

Chris’ eyes widened, “Wait, he got fired too?”

“Yeah. Which was terrible. He had his dream job, and he lost it. I can’t help but feel guilty, even though I know it was a mutual fuck up of ours.”

“I can understand feeling bad. That has to be rough.” He sipped his drink. “Did anything else happen?”

Phil huffed, “You could say that.” He launched into the story about Nathan, leaving out a few details to keep things relatively private. He only mentioned that Dan lost his fiancé and that he looks just like the man. Chris stared at him with wide eyes. “I know. And things are…things are getting worse. He has some major PTSD because of it, and I feel bad when I can’t fix it.”

“That’s something you can’t beat yourself up about.”

“I know.” He finished is drink. “I just wish I could. I want…I want this relationship to last. I love him. I just…don’t know how fast to move because of what happened to him. I’m scared of getting too serious too fast and then something happening.”

Chris gnawed his lower lip thoughtfully. “Well, I’d say just stay where you’re at. Wait until you’re both a little more stable, and then see about moving forward.”

“I think you’re right. It’s just hard, you know? Like, I want to share so much with him, and so far I am. We’re both going to his friend’s house for Christmas, and I’m really excited. I just don’t know where we’ll go from there.”

“Take it as it comes.”

Phil nodded his head, “You’re right.”

***

It was just two hours later when Phil had to go to work. It was another long afternoon. The faculty’s promotion was “Buy one holiday drink and get the other half off”, so they were extremely crowded. People were coming in at a constant rate, almost all of them buying the peppermint mocha. Phil couldn’t help but to worry they were going to run out of the syrup and have to deal with angry costumers. Luckily, his break came along, and he was able to step out back.

There were a few coworkers outside as well, but Phil didn’t talk to them much. He took out his phone and texted Dan.

**Phil:**

**On break. I hate people :)**

Dan immediately texted back.

**Dan:**

**I’m sorry, babe. I hope the day gets better for you <3**

Phil smiled reading Dan’s text. He was about to type back when he overheard one of his coworkers.

“I don’t know,” she huffed. “I really want to take good, professional Christmas pictures for our cards, but I don’t want to spend a ton of money either on someone that won’t even do a good job.”

Phil eyes widened and he stepped forward. “Hey, I know someone that could help you out.”

***

Phil stepped inside Dan’s apartment after unlocking the door. Sure enough, the TV was on, but Dan couldn’t be seen. Phil moved over the couch to see that Dan was around asleep lying on his back. A smirk formed on his lips. He carefully climbed on top of Dan gently enough to keep from waking him. He began nibbling Dan’s neck. Dan awoke with a sharp intake of breath that instantly melded into a moan.

“Mmm, hi,” he murmured.

Phil giggled, “Hi.” He moved away from Dan’s neck to look at the younger man. “I have some good news.” Dan looked at him curiously. “I found you a photography job!”

“Huh?” asked Dan, his voice not even remotely enthusiastic.

“Well,” Phil hesitated. He suddenly felt worried. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. “One of my co-workers wants nice Christmas photos of her family taken. I told her I knew someone that could do that for her. Of course she’ll pay.”

Dan almost looked upset. “I don’t know…”

“What do you mean? I know it’s not exactly a professional job, but it’s something, right?” Phil’s eyebrows knit with worry. Why wasn’t Dan more excited?

“I just don’t know… I haven’t even _looked_ at my camera since I lost my job… I just… I feel stupid…”

“Bear… Look…we both fucked up…but that doesn’t mean you should give up what you love.” Phil brushed a stray piece of Dan’s hair away from his face. “I think you should do this. It’ll help you get back into everything. Then, maybe you can find another permanent job.”

Dan turned his head away from Phil and stared off into space. “Maybe…” He was about to speak again, but he felt his neck being kissed again, and he couldn’t find words.

Phil pulled away from Dan enough to speak. “I tell you what, if you can honestly tell me that you don’t want to do it while I do this, then that’s fine.” Phil smirked as he brought his attention back to Dan’s sensitive skin. Luckily for him, Dan was wearing sweat pants, so he was easily able to slip his hand beneath the waistband.

“T-That’s not, uhh, fair,” uttered Dan through breathy moans. His length was already getting hard and it had only been a few seconds. “I don’t, uhh, want…” He couldn’t speak through the uncontrollable sounds of pleasure that continuously escaped.

Phil began pulling down Dan’s sweat pants. It wasn’t long before the material was pooled at Dan’s ankles and out of the way. Phil ghosted over Dan’s erection. “What were you saying?”

“I don’t want-fuck!” cried out Dan. Phil took him into his mouth, deep throating with ease right away. Phil began bobbing his head, licking stripes on Dan’s length. He worked his way back up to suck on the head. “Fuck! Uhh..!”

Phil smirked around Dan and then moved off with a “pop” sound. He wet his fingers while Dan’s head was still thrown back so that it wouldn’t be seen. “Hm?”

“I _said_ I don’t-oh fuck!” Dan’s words were cut off yet again as Phil began to finger him. “This isn’t, uhh...fair!”

Phil chuckled. “If you can’t say it before you come, you lose.” He then pushed in a second digit, moving inside deeper to find Dan’s sweet spot. His fingers brushed the walls just right, causing Dan to loudly respond. He roughly pushed his fingers over the spot over and over, easily making Dan to spray all over his clothes.

Dan had to take several deep breaths before being able to speak. “I hate you…” he murmured in a tone that suggested just the opposite. “Now I have to wash these.”

Phil shrugged, “I can do that for you while you’re taking photos.”

Dan sighed, “Fine. You win.” He maneuvered forward to kiss Phil. “What would I do without you?”

“Crash and burn.” Phil laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! I hoped you enjoyed the chapter ^.^ I'll also see you all in hell XD As always you can find me on Twitter and on Tumblr for sneak peeks and more phan related content. :D
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: Phangirl-landphil
> 
> See you guys next week!
> 
> P.S. I know someone is going to say that Phil wouldn't say, "I hate people :)" but if you worked at Starbucks, wouldn't you? XD lol


	16. Chapter 16

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 16:

Dan was stood in his bedroom. He stared down at his dresser, more accurately, the camera he hadn’t touched since he lost his job. It had felt wrong to even look at it since he managed to fuck up the reason he received it in the first place, but now he didn’t have much of a choice. Slowly, he picked it up. It was stupid, honestly. It was just a camera. However, it really wasn’t, at least not to him. What most people viewed as an object used to take pictures, he viewed as something that had been guiding him his entire life. It was something that had caused an equal amount of happiness and heartache. It was why he met Nathan. It was why he met Phil.

“Dan?” inquired Phil as he pushed the already cracked open door. “Are you ready? I’m driving still for you, right?”

Dan instantly felt better with Phil in the room. Phil always had that effect on him. “Yeah. I’m ready whenever you are.”

Phil stepped into the room. He gently pecked Dan on the lips before intertwining their fingers and bringing his boyfriend forward. They walked out to the car, Dan getting into the passenger seat. Phil started the engine and began driving to their destination. They were going to be meeting his coworker, Lindsey, at a park not too far from the apartment. It had recently snowed, so Lindsey wanted to take the photos outdoors. Why use a green screen when there’s a real, beautiful winter wonderland right outside?

After arriving at the park, Phil parked the car, and he and Dan stepped out. The air was chilled, but not to the point of discomfort. It was crisp, easily countered with a cup of hot tea. Snow gently floated down, making everything in the proximity just a little bit brighter. Dan and Phil stood by the car, waiting. Lindsey should have been there any moment. Sure enough, a car pulled up next to theirs, and out stepped a family.

“Phil!” greeted Lindsey with a smile. She made her way over to Phil and gave him a hug. “Thank you so much for meeting us here. This means a lot.”

Phil chuckled, “Well, don’t thank me. Thank him,” he gestured to Dan. “This is Dan. Dan, this is my coworker, Lindsey.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Lindsey as she shook Dan’s hand.

“Nice to meet you too,” replied Dan.

Lindsey beamed. “Honestly. I can’t thank you enough for this.” Suddenly, her expression changed. “Do…do I know you? You look familiar.”

Dan felt his cheeks redden. He hoped that Lindsey wouldn’t recognize him, but it was pretty much inevitable. He was featured in magazines almost as often as his models were. “Uh, we’ve never met before,” he mumbled embarrassed.

Lindsey gasped, “Dan… Dan Howell?”

“Ding, ding, ding,” said Dan sheepishly. “Guilty as charged.”

“That’s why I’ve seen you! Oh my goodness! I can’t believe Daniel Howell is taking my Christmas photos.” She blushed. “I apologize. I must sound so silly.”

Dan laughed lightly, “No, no. Honestly, I’m flattered, and I’m glad I can be here today.” He gestured to the park. “Shall we?”

Lindsey smiled and made her way to her family. Everyone walked through the park, looking for the spot where she wanted to take the pictures. Eventually, they approached a children’s play area. Since it was rather cold, no one had disrupted the white blanket that had fallen on everything from the slide to the swings, giving everything a very lush allure. It was a beautiful background.

“Alright, so should we start with some basic shoots of the family with the playground in the back?” asked Dan as he turned on his camera. The camera screen lit up. For a moment, he felt like he was back at the studio. He began to smile. When he looked up, Lindsey’s entire family was huddled together, already beaming for the camera. His smile only grew wider. “Alright, I need you two to get together a little closer. Don’t be afraid of your sister.” The kids laughed and got closer. Dan gestured to Lindsey’s husband. “Try putting your arm around her.” Her husband did as asked. Dan brought the lens up and looked through the camera. “Perfect.”

The camera shutter could just barely be heard. Phil’s eyebrows knit, and he smiled softly, his expression displaying pure adoration. There, that was the Dan he fell in love with. He watched as Dan took his familiar stance of slightly bent knees, adjusting the camera as the he took countless pictures. Dan then had the family move around a bit, testing the best way for them to be arranged for the photos. Then for the other parts of the card, Lindsey wanted pictures of the kids on the playground.

“How should they pose?” asked Lindsey.

Dan shook his head, “No posing. Trust me. Just let them play like they normally would, and I’ll handle the rest.”

Lindsey pursed her lips, considering the idea and trying to figure out what Dan was getting at. “Well, you’re the boss.” She smiled. “Jack, Alex, go play for a few minutes, okay?”

The kids giggled and took off, excitedly climbing the playground. Dan followed them from a distance, waiting for the right moments to start taking pictures. He snapped photos of Alex going down the slide, Jack climbing up rope, both kids sliding down the fireman pole, and both children laughing on the swings.

After he had enough, he brought the camera over to Lindsey and let her take a look. She began clicking through the captured moments of her children, and she grinned from ear to ear. “Oh my gosh. These are precious!” She turned to Dan. “You really have a gift.”

Dan laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know about that, but I love taking pictures.”

“Well,” started Phil as he made his way over. “I’ve been trying to tell him he has a gift for a long time, but he never listens to me.”

Dan rolled his eyes, “You have not once told me that.”

“Oh really? I guess I thought it was obvious.” He winked.

Lindsey giggled, “You two are cute. Thank you so much for today.”

“It’s not a problem.” Dan took his camera back. “I’ll email you the best ones, and then you can choose from there.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful. I’ll text Phil my email.” After a moment of silence, she spoke again. “I guess we’ll be heading out. Again, thank you so much, and you both have a very happy Christmas.”

“You have a happy Christmas too,” replied Phil.

“Happy Christmas,” repeated Dan.

Lindsey hugged both of them before going back to her family. Once she was out of ear shot, Phil turned to Dan. “You look so happy.”

Dan looked at Phil questionably. “I do?”

“Yeah, you do. When you were taking pictures, you kept smiling so much. It made me really happy to see you like that again.” He wrapped his arms around Dan’s neck, touching their noses together. Dan let his camera hang from the strap around his wrist, and brought his hands to Phil’s waist, gently bringing the older man closer. Phil moved slightly, gently pressing his lips to Dan’s briefly. “I think you’re ready to get back out there.”

Dan pecked Phil’s lips before replying. “You think so?”

Phil kissed him again, “I do.”

Dan heaved a sigh. “I tell you what. I’ll…I’ll start looking for work in the new year. How’s that?”

“I think that works out perfectly.”

“The one down side is I’ll need to go clothes shopping _again._ ” He laughed.

Phil laughed as well. “Well, in the meantime, I know something we can do,” he kissed Dan one more time, biting the photographer’s lower lip, “that doesn’t require _any_ clothing.”

***

It was the week before Christmas, meaning it was time to head out to Michigan. Dan and Phil were at their own apartments, both busily packing. Phil couldn’t believe that Tyler and his mother were kind enough to have himself and Dan over for two weeks. He felt truly blessed. They were definitely a kind family. He and Tyler had actually become rather good friends, meaning he’d be spending the holidays with a good friend and his boyfriend. He couldn’t ask for anything more.

Dan was finishing up packing while he was on the phone with Tyler. Tyler was running him through what he would need, as he had the memory of a goldfish when it came to necessities for traveling.

“Snow coat?” asked Tyler.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yes, I have a snow coat. I forget things like my gloves, not my coat.”

“Last time you forgot you were going somewhere with decent amounts of snow,” sassed Tyler.

“It was a long year okay. This time I think I have everything.”

“Your ski pass so we can renew it?”

“Fuck!” Dan began rummaging through his drawer. Suddenly it was evident that he had no idea where his pass was, and he was going to spend the next half an hour looking for it. “I’ll find it.”

“Well, while you’re looking for that, you need to start talking. What you said the other day—”

“I’m going to stop you right there. Shut up. It was a slip up.”

Tyler scoffed. “Yeah, a Freudian slip up. Look, don’t get mad at me. I’m just worried you’re moving fast in fear. I’m allowed to be concerned.”

Dan yanked out the ski pass and shouted in victory. “Fuck yes! Found it! And, Tyler, I understand why you’re worried. But I _swear_ everything is fine. We’re fine. I’m fine.” He then heard an alert tone on his phone, letting him know he had received an email. He put Tyler on speaker and opened his email.

“Alright. I just don’t want you rushing because you’re afraid of letting him slip away or something, which would be ridiculous, as that boy is crazy about you. By the way, so…” Tyler’s voice faded in the background. Dan stared down at his email, his heart racing.

**Mr. Davis:**

**Mr. Howell. It has come to my attention that you are a very skilled photographer with previous professional experience. A woman named Lindsey Turner posted photographs on her Facebook page and included your name, which is how you were brought to my attention. I’m looking for someone to take a position at my company. You would be in charge of shoots for many magazines including the cover of People Magazine. Of course, this would require moving to Los Angeles, but I can assure you it would be worth it. If you are interested, contact me at this email as soon as you can. I understand that it is the holidays, so I don’t expect anything until the new year. Have a good holiday season, and I hope to hear from you.**

**Sincerely,**

**Richard Davis**

Dan couldn’t believe his eyes. Someone was offering him a position as a photographer in _Los Angeles_. It was incredible. It was amazing. It was…impossible. Los Angeles… All the way in Los Angeles… He couldn’t possibly go there. However, in the back of his mind, he knew that Tyler and Phil wouldn’t let him turn the offer down, which meant they couldn’t know about it. If he decided to go he could tell them, but there was no way. He couldn’t leave. He just couldn’t. It was an incredible offer…but…

“Dan? Are you there?” asked Tyler.

Dan snapped out of his trance and stuttered. “U-Uh, yeah. Sorry. Phil’s here to pick me up. I’ll see you when we land.” Without another word he hung up the phone.

Luckily, it wasn’t much longer before Phil actually arrived. Phil walked into the apartment, hands in his coat pockets. “Bear, are you ready?”

Dan walked out to meet him, his suitcases rolling behind him. He set them down and wrapped his arms around Phil, gently kissing him. Phil wasn’t expecting it, as they were in a slight hurry to get going, but he didn’t protest. They kissed each other for a few moments before parting. “Ready,” said Dan, a growing lie beginning with that one word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys ^.^ I hope you liked this chapter. It's the start to a new series of chapters taking place over the holidays, which I can't wait for you guys to read. As usual you can find me on Twitter and on Tumblr for sneak peeks and more phan related content. :)
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: Phangirl-landphil
> 
> See you guys next week!


	17. Chapter 17

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 17:

“We’re looking at a continually smooth ride, ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy the rest of the flight,” said the flight attendant over the loudspeaker. The click from setting the phone down could be heard, and then silence followed.

Dan and Phil had been on the plane for 6 hours. They had just over two more hours to go. Dan was sound asleep, his head resting on Phil’s shoulder. Phil couldn’t sleep on planes if it meant his survival, so he was leaned back slightly, a book in his lap. He’d been meaning to finish the new Stephen King novel for a while, and this was the perfect opportunity.

Towards the end of the flight, Phil found it too difficult to focus on his book. He marked the page and shut the hardback. His mind was too preoccupied thinking about the weeks to come. Tyler and his mother were saints, having Dan and Phil over for most of the holiday season. Phil couldn’t help but to grin a little. When he first met Tyler, he simply saw a flamboyant man that could put together an outfit in seconds. He never expected that Tyler would be such an important person to himself and Dan. Life was funny that way.

The plane finally landed after some time. Dan and Phil waited in line for their bags and then flagged down a cab to take them to Tyler’s home. The drive was extremely slow, as snow and ice were everywhere. The ice wasn’t too bad on the main roads, but the neighborhoods took a bit more time to get through. Once they arrived, Dan paid the driver, and he and Phil grabbed their bags in a hurry, trying to quickly get out of the snowstorm. The front door swung open before they even made their way up to the door.

“Hurry up you two!” shouted Mrs. Oakley. “You’ll freeze out there!”  Dan and Phil hurried as told, getting inside and brushing off the snow onto the mat by the entrance. “You must be Phil. Nice to meet you.”

Phil shook her hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Oakley.”

She laughed, “Oh please. Call me Jackie.”

“Heeeey,” shouted Tyler from the back of the house. He had just stepped inside from the backdoor. “I was wondering when you two would get here.” He took off his gloves and shivered. “I swear I forget what cold is since I don’t leave my apartment in London.” He laughed.

“It’s ridiculously cold,” commented Phil.

Tyler made his way over and hugged both Dan and Phil. “I’m glad you guys made it safely. It’s a fucking blizzard out there.”

“What were you doing outside?” asked Dan.

“I was clearing the porch of ice. If we don’t keep up with it it’ll keep freezing over and then you have a personal ice rink.”

“Do you want help?” asked Phil with a concerned expression. “That has to be a lot of work alone.”

Tyler’s complexion started turning red. “Weeeeell…”

The backdoor opened with a creek, grabbing everyone’s attention.

“Tyler! You asshole, why did—?” Connor looked up from stomping his shoes to knock off snow. He smiled when he saw Dan and Phil. “Oh! Hey, I didn’t know you guys would be here.”

“Connor? What are you doing here?” asked Dan.

“None of my family could fly in for Christmas because of the blizzards. So Tyler said I could spend the holidays here. I’m guessing it was similar with you?”

“Similar is a good word,” chuckled Dan. “That’s cool though that we’re all here.”

Tyler raised his hands to point at Dan and Phil. “You two should still help us with the ice so we don’t die.”

“And while you boys do that I’ll make you something warm,” said Jackie. She headed over to the kitchen, already knowing what she was going to fix.

Dan, Phil, Tyler, and Connor worked on shoveling snow and breaking ice out back until it was safe to walk. Once they were back inside, Jackie brought out four mugs and set them on the living room coffee table.

“Homemade hot chocolate,” she beamed.

“You really are queen,” commented Connor as he picked up the mug to warm his hands.

Dan laughed, “Right, Phil, it’s a long story but she is Queen Jackie.”

Phil was already burning his tongue on the hot chocolate before he replied. “I can see why. This is really good even though I already damaged all my taste buds trying it.”

Jackie laughed and gestured to the couches, “Well, sit down. Relax. Thank you all very much for helping out back.”

“Oh, it was no problem,” replied Connor with a smile. Once everyone was sat down, he turned his attention to Dan and Phil. “So, if you don’t mind, fill me in? What happened to you guys?”

“You haven’t told him?” questioned Dan turning his head to look at Tyler.

Tyler sipped his drink before responding. “I was going to, but I thought it would be a lot funnier coming from you.”

“Because what happened was funny.”

Tyler shrugged. “One part of it was.”

“You guys are killing me,” interrupted Connor. “Come on, spill.”

With a sigh, Dan launched into telling the story about what happened in Paris, leaving out details about Nathan mainly to keep the mood from dropping below 0. Phil chimed in occasionally, mentioning things that Dan forgot in that moment of speaking. Connor was glued to the edge of his seat, taking quiet sips of his drink, not wanting to miss a detail.

“That’s when the fucking paparazzi showed up,” concluded Dan.

Connor’s jaw dropped, “Oh shit. What did they do?”

“They asked us to explain pictures of us kissing,” stated Phil. His cheeks reddened a bit as he prepared to explain the next part. “And they so kindly mentioned that our room received a lot of noise complaints from the night before.”

Connor sprayed his drink all over his lap from laughing. He began fanning his face, which was now burning from the substance. “Ow! Fuck!” Despite the pain he was still laughing. Tyler began laughing from a mix of the story and Connor’s response. Connor quickly moved his burned hand back and forth. “Ow, ow, ow!”

“Hang on,” Tyler barely managed to speak through his laughter. He got up to grab Connor something to wipe away the spilled drink.

“I am _so_ sorry I laughed so hard, but oh my god,” expressed Connor.

Dan’s face was crimson, but he couldn’t help but to giggle as well. “I’ll admit that it’s funny now, but in that moment I had never been more mortified in my entire life.”

“Well that’s what you get for screaming your head off,” commented Tyler, a cheeky grin appearing on his face as he handed Connor the napkins.

“Actually shut the fuck up,” snapped Dan lightly. He brought his mug up to his face, partially to take a drink, but mainly in a failed attempt to hide.

Connor tried to stifle his laughter and failed miserably. “You know,” he wiped away the spilled drink before finishing his thought, “I had no idea who topped, but now I know.”

Dan shifted a slight glare to a laughing Tyler. “Literally kill yourself.”

Tyler pretended to be hurt. “How dare you. I’m there for when you can’t walk, and this is how you repay me?” Connor burst out laughing, making Tyler start to as well despite trying to keep up the faux betrayal.

Dan’s face only flushed worse. “I’m being attacked and it’s just fucking rude.”

“Hey now, we’re all adults here. We can casually discuss sex. Even if it’s the kind of sex that results in damaged vocal chords.” Tyler was trying immensely hard not to laugh at his own joke.

Sighing, Dan turned his attention to Connor. “If he’d dead tomorrow, he brought it on himself.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Phil, do me a favor and make sure Dan is incapable of walking to my room tomorrow morning.” Connor was unable to internalize his laughter.

At this point, Dan wasn’t even embarrassed; he was just frustrated that he couldn’t summon the same wit when he was constantly the target. “I hate you both, I swear to god.” He began chuckling as well, despite the nature of his comment.

It was a few minutes later when Jackie came back into the room. “I had a thought,” she commented. Everyone turned their attention. “I know there are only five of us, but since it’s just us, I was thinking we could do a little white elephant.”

“Oh that could be fun,” replied Connor.

Tyler gasped and smiled, “Ooo we should do gag gifts.”

Dan’s eyes widened slightly as he looked over to Jackie, “Have you thought this through?”

“I have,” stated Jackie with a small laugh. “It’s up to you. I just thought it would be fun.”

“I vote yes,” announced Tyler.

“So do I,” added Connor. The two men looked to Dan and Phil.

Dan shrugged his shoulders, “Why not?”

“I’m already thinking of funny gag gifts,” admitted Phil.

“How about we do it Christmas Eve?” asked Jackie. Everyone agreed that it was a good idea.

“We can take a day to go shopping as soon as the storm passes by,” said Tyler.

“Sounds good to me,” said Phil.

Everyone started a conversation about where to go and how to spend the holiday season. Dan was glad to be there with everyone. After everything that happened, he finally felt like he didn’t need to worry anymore. Phil felt the aches in his chest fade. Dan seemed genuinely happy. Phil hoped the vacation would be healing for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that chapter guys! I'm excited for these upcoming chapters, especially because Conler. Next fic will definitely be Tronnor though ;) 
> 
> Just a quick heads up for you guys, I might not be able to update weekly. It might be off a few days here and there. My second semester of college has started, and I am in a work heavy creative writing class. You can see how that makes things difficult. So I'm sorry about that. However, I have a plan for a one-shot coming up, so you can expect that along with new chapters :)
> 
> As always, you can follow me on social media for updates, sneak peeks, blah, blah, blah, you guys know the drill :) Love you guys! See you soon! <3
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: Phangirl-landphil


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ALIIIIIIVE!!! Hey guys! So here's a new chapter! I'm so happy I finally finished this! I hope you guys like it! Also, read the ending notes please! I have a question for you guys after this ^^ Enjoy!!

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 18:

The roads finally cleared two days later. Dan, Phil, Tyler, and Connor decided that they better hurry and go Christmas shopping. After taking Tyler’s car to the mall, they decided to part ways in pairs. Tyler went with Phil, and Dan went with Connor. That way, they could give each other advice about gifts. They agreed to meet back at the food court in two hours.

The mall was a zoo. Everyone was scrambling around trying to get last minute Christmas shopping accomplished. The air was filled with the buzzing of people discussing plans and trying to determine what to buy for one another, a struggle that the boys were facing too. None of them were sure what to get the other, so deciding on a store to even _start_ looking was a challenge on its own. Also, on top of that, they were looking for gifts for the white elephant as well.

As they were walking, Tyler and Phil spotted an odd store called Spencer’s. Tyler practically dragged Phil into the store.

“If anything, we’ll find a gag gift here,” he said.

Phil looked around the store curiously. The shop sold everything from nose piercings to inappropriate graphic t-shirts. There was an entire wall lined with various snap-backs and belts as well. He followed Tyler to the back of the store. He suddenly knew what Tyler meant when he stated that they could find a gag gift. The wall was coated with various sex toys, and the stand on the opposing side had objects such as penis shaped lollis and pillows.

“Wouldn’t your mum freak out if someone opened up something like this?” asked Phil as he picked up a flogger. “And I can’t believe they sell these in the mall.” Suddenly he felt his ass get smacked and he jumped. He turned to see Tyler laughing, flogger in hand.

“Sorry,” he laughed and put the object back. “And are you kidding? I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom bought something like this just to fuck with me. But we need something good. Dick-pops are funny, but overdone.” He scanned the area, and then his eyes landed on something. “What the fuck is this?” He picked up a rubber mushroom that flopped all over the place.

Phil stared at it with a confused expression. “What the hell?” he laughed. He took the mushroom from Tyler and bounced it in his hands. “This is so weird!”

“Shot gun that thing,” said Tyler. He took the mushroom back. “Now you need to pick something.”

Phil’s eyes glazed over the various merchandise. He picked up a box and turned it over to read the label. “I think I’ll go with the sex dice.”

Tyler burst out laughing, “Yes! Okay. But for serious gifts, I have _no_ idea what to get Connor.”

“Doesn’t he love photography?”

“Yes,” confirmed Tyler. “His Instagram is _aesthetic_!”

Phil smiled, “Then I know what you can get him.”

***

Dan and Connor were sifting through the items at Bath and Body Works. Dan was shopping for Phil. He knew it wasn’t exactly an extravagant gift, but Phil had an obsession with candles. Luckily, the store had put out about a thousand different Christmas related scents. Now Dan just had to choose one.

“What about this one?” asked Dan handing Connor a green candle.

Connor gave the item a whiff before turning his nose up at it. “Too artificial. That is _not_ pine.”

Dan nodded in agreement. “That’s what I thought. I was hoping this would be easy. Phil is such a candle slut; it’s ridiculous.” He chuckled.

“I’m the same way,” said Connor as he started looking through more of the scents. “When I’m home, I _always_ have a candle lit. It’s like, I have to or I feel like something’s off.”

“I can understand that,” Dan made a disgusted face at yet another candle. “Jesus Christ is there anything that doesn’t suck?”

Suddenly, Connor took a sharp intake of breath. “Oh my _god_. Dan, we have a winner,” he handed off the item. It was scented “fresh cookies” and that was _exactly_ what it smelled like.

“Fuck me,” said Dan. “That’s a good candle. We’re buying this one.”

“Alright, but now I need your help. I don’t know what to get Tyler, and frankly I’m suspecting that he’s hard to shop for.”

“Oh,” Dan scoffed, “Tyler is impossible to shop for. So, you don’t get him a gift like an object or anything.”

Connor looked at Dan, extreme puzzlement crossing his face. “Huh?”

“We have some time, so we’re going to walk down the street; there’s a salon there. Pay for Tyler’s next hairstyle, and he will fucking love you.”

Connor nodded his head, a smirk forming on his lips, “You’re a genius.”

“I know.”

***

Christmas Eve finally arrived. The boys spent the entire day helping Jackie decorate the house. Jackie told embarrassing stories about Tyler when they brought out the “elf on a shelf”. Apparently, Tyler once knocked it over as child on accident, and cried thinking that Santa was going to be mad at him. Tyler’s response was to throw a small wreath at Jackie when she wasn’t looking.

Tyler helped his mother unbox things, Connor set up the stockings, and Dan and Phil were in charge of decorating the top of the tree. Phil had insisted on putting on Michael Buble’s Christmas album, which was a recommendation that had no protests from everyone else. “All I Want for Christmas is You” started playing, and Phil wasted no time grabbing Dan for a dance. Seeing this, Tyler decided it was a good idea. Before Connor could finish turning around he found himself being led in a dance by the kitchen. Everyone shared sheepish grins, knowing they must look silly, but not really caring at all. Jackie picked up Tyler’s phone and opened the camera, recording the precious moment.

Later into the evening, everyone decided to start the white elephant whilst “Home Alone” played in the background. Jackie had everyone take a number out of one of Tyler’s hats.

“Dammit,” said Tyler. “I got 1.”

“Ha!” teased Dan. “Sucks to suck.”

Tyler shot him a playful glare. He then glossed over all the gifts that were available. “I’m just scared because I know you’re all sick mother fuckers.”

“Uh, so are you,” said Connor. “So, I’m not helping you.” He closed his eyes and gave Tyler a big smile, further trying to jokingly push Tyler’s buttons.

“You’re a bitch,” stated Tyler through a laugh. He quickly pecked Connor on the cheek and then reached to grab a gift at random. “Lord, please be something decent.” He took off the wrapping paper to find a card. “You light up my world,” he opened the card, “let’s fuck!” Everyone burst into laughter. “Alright, at least there’s a Starbucks gift card in here. Whose was this?”

“That was mine,” admitted Phil. “I remembered seeing it, so I went back and bought it when you were waiting in line for bubble tea.”

“You sneaky bitch!” Tyler rolled his eyes with a smile. “Well, that’s my turn for this round. Who’s next?”

“That’s me,” said Phil. “Um,” he covered his face with his hands, “now I know how hard this is! I don’t know which one to pick since mine is gone! At least the normal one.”

“See it’s terrifying!”

“And if that’s your normal gift now I’m really scared,” commented Connor.

“This is terrifying! Um, okay,” Phil reached for a gift and grabbed at random just like Tyler had done. It was a small box. He tore off the wrapping paper and took off the lid. “Oh! It’s a gift card for bubble tea!” he smiled.

Dan burst out laughing. “Are you joking? Did we all just go for gift cards and sex stuff?”

“I think we did, because I bought a gift card too,” said Connor through a laugh. “I’m also next, but I think I’ll take a risk.” He grabbed a gift and opened it quickly. After rolling his eyes, he threw his head back. “They’re fucking sex dice.”

That time, they heard Jackie laugh from the kitchen.

“Well, I know what our evening plans are,” stated Tyler, his face flushing immediately after his statement.

Connor pinched the bridge of his nose. His face brightened to match Tyler’s. “Tyler! Shut up!”

“Okay, I’m scared,” said Dan despite his smile. “Shit.” He picked up a present and opened it. It was the mushroom. “What the _hell_ is this?”

Tyler couldn’t contain how hard he was laughing. “I was _so_ hoping you’d pick that!”

“Tyler, what the actual fuck is this?” asked Dan as he made the mushroom flop in his hand. “Why? Why do you buy these things?”

“Because I know you hate them but secretly love them.” Tyler grabbed Connor’s sex dice. “I mean, part of the white elephant is a trade. You can always trade,” he examined the dice, “but I doubt anyone is going to take that mushroom from you, which is part of why I wanted you to get it.”

Dan narrowed his eyes, “Kill yourself. Just swan dive out your bedroom window.”

“Even if I did that, I’ll just break something. I wouldn’t _die_. I’m not a weak ass mother fucker.”

“Oh, oh I’d finish you off. Don’t worry.”

Tyler blew Dan a kiss in response.

After the white elephant ended, everyone cuddled up on the couch to finish watching the movie. Dan rested his head in the crook of Phil’s neck and pulled the blanket up to cover them better. Despite the height difference, Tyler held Connor close, causing Connor’s feet to slightly dangle off the edge of the couch. Dan couldn’t help but smile seeing that. He was glad that Tyler was happy. If anyone deserved to have someone special, it was Tyler. As his mind wandered, he began to think about the email that was still stored on his cell phone. He pushed the thought back, demanding himself not to even give it attention until the holidays were over. It was a wonderful time, and even _he_ deserved a break. Wrapping his arm around Phil’s midsection, he closed his eyes and drifted into a light sleep.

***

Christmas morning came, allowing everyone to feel happy from the moment they woke up. Dan was the first to wake up. He attempted to awaken Phil by placing light kisses on Phil’s neck. Sure enough, Phil began to smile as his eyes fluttered open. He maneuvered to meet Dan’s kisses with his lips, a gentle way of saying good morning.

Tyler awoke Connor in a similar fashion, running his fingers through Connor’s hair and pecking his jaw. Connor groaned from being awakened, but inevitably smiled. He moved his head and kissed Tyler on the nose.

Once everyone was awake, they decided to start with breakfast. It was tradition to make pancakes in the shape of snowmen, so that’s what they did. As they were making the batter, Tyler decided to pick up a bit of flower and flick it at Connor’s face. Seeing this, Phil mimicked the action and tossed a puff of white at Dan. It didn’t take long for a war to break out, making everyone laugh and become an absolute mess.

“I leave the kitchen for two minutes,” Jackie rolled her eyes and laughed. It was then that she noticed Tyler had a handful of flour. “Don’t. You dare. Tyler.” She continued to chuckle despite her very lightly threatening tone. Tyler stepped closer, and she stepped back. “Matthew!”

 _Puff!_ The flour smeared all over her face and in her hair. Noting happened for a moment, everyone was still. Then, she rushed forward and grabbed the entire bag.

“Shit, run!” shouted Tyler through a laugh.

Needless to say, by the time everything was over, it was as if it had snowed indoors. It was a _mess_.

Cleanup took a little bit longer than usual because of this, but that was okay. Everyone enjoyed snowman shaped pancakes and hot chocolate. After, they all gathered around the tree to exchange gifts. Jackie took the roll of handing things out.

“Okay,” she said looking at the label, “this is to Connor from Tyler.”

“Thank you,” said Connor as he took the present. He discarded the paper and nearly jumped when he saw the gift. “Oh my god!” he turned the box around to show everyone. It was a Polaroid camera. “I’ve always wanted one of these!” He turned and hugged Tyler. “Thank you.” He gave Tyler a peck on the lips.

Tyler turned red and smiled uncontrollably. “I’m just glad you like it. And that you don’t already have one.”

Jackie held out another gift. “To Dan from Phil.”

Dan took the gift and swiftly opened it. It was a _very_ nice photo album that had his name engraved on the bottom left corner. “Oh my god,” he turned to Phil. “I can’t believe you remembered me talking about this.”

“Of course I did,” replied Phil. “And your photos deserve to have somewhere special to be placed.”

“You’re sweet,” Dan leaned forward and gave Phil a quick kiss.

Tyler scoffed, “Ugh, get a room,” he teased.

Dan grabbed a pillow and threw it at him, “Shut it.”

“To Phil from Dan,” said Jackie.

Phil knew what it was from the shape, but his excitement became clear when he saw what the scent was. “Oh my god, yes!” He popped off the lid and sniffed the candle. “Oh my god. I’m lighting this forever. Thanks, Dan,” he beamed.

“Sorry that it’s a little less sentimental,” Dan folded his arms awkwardly.

“Are you kidding? I love it.” More kisses were exchanged, followed by more teasing from Connor and Tyler.

“To Tyler from Connor,” said Jackie.

The moment Tyler opened the gift was saw what it was, he nearly tackled Connor with a hug. “Oh my god, bitch, you are fabulous!”

Connor laughed, “I love how ‘bitch’ is a term of endearment coming from you. I’m glad you like it.” He hugged Tyler back.

The rest of the gifts were exchanged, followed up by spending the rest of the day lazily enjoying food and movies. However, as everyone lay on the couch like the night before, Dan felt the same thoughts creeping into his mind. He nuzzled Phil’s neck, trying to focus on that, focus on Phil, but that made things worse. The idea of leaving Phil broke his heart, but Phil would never let him turn that offer down. As Phil gently rubbed his back, he decided in that moment that Phil couldn’t know. No one could. He would turn down the offer, and no one would have to know it was even something that took place. With a yawn, he turned his attention back to the movie, making himself a promise to not let anything get in the way of him and the precious person in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. :) 
> 
> Also, I have a question for you guys ^^ Over time, I have gotten a TON of questions about where I learned to write, my process, all that kind of stuff. I wanted to know if you guys would maybe want me to make a video with some writing tips. Let me know if that's something you guys would be interested in :)
> 
> As always, you can follow me on other social media for updates and sneak peeks :) Thanks again, and I'll see you guys soon! Bye!~
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/


	19. Chapter 19

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 19:

With the holidays passed, the boys decided to go out and have some more fun. There wasn’t exactly a ton to do around town, but if you looked hard enough and knew how to have a good time, you’d be fine. Tyler knew of an adult ice skating rink downtown. They served alcohol—you couldn’t go out onto the ice if you drank—and had glow-shaking after 9:00 p.m. So, after 9:00 p.m., the boys arrived at the rink.

After paying for their skates, they stepped out onto the rink. The rink was lit by a disco ball in the center, and a variety of colored lights shining around different areas and then switching around. Music played from the speakers, but not so loud you couldn’t hear one another. There were a decent amount of people around; everyone seeming to be having a good time.

Having grown up around these types of activities, Tyler and Connor were perfectly fine. However, Dan and Phil were wobbling disasters.

“You okay over here, boo?” asked Tyler as he skated over to Dan with ease.

Meanwhile, Dan was gripping the edge of the rink in order to stay upright. “Shut up, Tyler. This isn’t easy.” He attempted to let go, but as soon as he did so, he lost his balance, causing him to be forced to grab the side of the rink again, his knees bent slightly from almost falling.

Tyler didn’t bother resisting laughing at him. “You having some trouble? You need a hand?” He pretended to reach out for Dan, and then quickly withdrew his hand, snickering as he did so and skating backwards. “Love you, cutie.”

“Go to hell.” Dan pressed his back against the side of the rink. He heaved a deep breath, trying to convince himself that this couldn’t be that hard. In fact, it was easy. Yeah. It was easy. He pushed himself forward, and immediately his feet launched forward into the air. Before he account for what happened, he was sitting on the ground with an already sore ass.

“You okay, bear?” asked Phil as he carefully pulled himself over to Dan using the edge. His legs wobbled viciously, his body protesting the lack of balance. “Why did we think this was a good idea?”

Dan pointed at Tyler with narrowed eyes. “Because this fucker convinced us.”

“What?” Tyler feigned innocence. He skated past Dan and Phil, holding Connor’s hand. “I’m having a great time.”

Connor tried his best not to laugh, but ultimately failed. “I’m sorry, but it’s funny.”

“I’m going to be disgustingly adorable with my boyfriend now, since you can’t.” Tyler turned around, skating backwards with ease. He brought Connor with him, twirling him as if they were dancing. They maneuvered on the ice easily, able to spin into each other to be held from behind and continue skating.

“Want to help me kill them later?” asked Dan. He slowly got to his feet, his body lightly shaking out of reflex. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Shit! Help!” His arms wiggled all around, trying relentlessly to stay standing.

Phil did his best to make his way to Dan and help balance him. He managed to wrap his arms around Dan, using him for balance. “This was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, if one of us goes down, then we both do. Fuck. Okay, no, you know what?” Dan forcibly straightened out, almost toppling over in the process. “We can do this. We can fucking do this, Phil! Just stand upright and maneuver forward.” He let go of Phil and outstretched his arms, trying to stay steady. Slowly, he inched forward little by little on the ice. “See that? That’s progress.”

“You’re pathetic,” said Tyler through a laugh. “Get it together.”

Dan continued to slowly move forward, slightly hunched over, trying not to fall. “Tyler, you’re crossing into dangerous waters where if you don’t shut up soon I’m going to bitch slap you.” He attempted to mimic slapping Tyler by quickly moving his hand, and that caused him to lose his balance and fall again.

“Bear, maybe we should take a break and go get a drink,” said Phil, his legs still trembling from being unable to hold himself up. He made his way to the exit, stepping out of the rink onto the safe tile. He sat down at a table, looking out onto the rink.

Dan didn’t bother standing up. He crawled on his hands and knees to the exit and then stood up. “I think I hate ice skating.” He sat down next to Phil, sighing. “I also think I’m done skating. Time to get a drink.”

“Yeah, I think so. What do you want?”

Dan hummed, contemplating his options. “I think I’ll take a margarita.”

“One margarita coming up.” Phil got up from his seat and made his way over to the bar.

Reaching into his pocket, Dan took out his cellphone and began scrolling through twitter. Without warning, he got an urge to look at the email again. Why? Why did he want to look at it? It’s not like he was going to act upon it. In fact, he should probably just delete it. He opened his Gmail account and then the email. It was as if the offer was staring back at him, taunting him. It was an incredible opportunity, but he just couldn’t do it. His thumb hovered over the trash icon. He should just get rid of it, forget about it. It shouldn’t be there anymore. He should just—

“Hey,” said Tyler with a smile as he walked over hand-in-hand with Connor. “Give up on skating?”

Dan quickly clicked off his phone, stuffing it into his pocket. “Yeah.” He faked a smile, trying to hide behind it. If Tyler started questioning anything he would be in serious trouble. “Phil’s getting us drinks.”

“Well, as much fun as it was watching you fall out there, I could go for a drink myself.” He sat down across from Dan and looked up at Connor. “Babe, will you get me a Colorado bull dog?”

“Sure,” said Connor. “Be right back.” He disappeared to the bar.

Tyler heaved a sigh, a little tired from being out on the ice. “You having a good vacation?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded his head. He smiled. “Thank you for letting Phil come with me. It’s really made a huge difference. Spending time with him like this has been so nice.”

“Of course. Hell, I knew that Connor was going to come, and no offense, boo, but I would third wheel you so hard.”

“Oh, trust me, I know.” He laughed. “How are things with you two?”

“Things are going really well. We are official now, which is nice.”

“That’s great. Plus, double dating is always fun.”

“True,” Tyler adjusted his glasses, “but we need a system.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, “A system?”

“Yeah. Because the thing with double dating is that sometimes after a while you want time alone to make out or have a quickie in the bathroom or something.”

“Tyler,” Dan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I think that’s just you.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, “Shut up. Thumbs up emoji means we’re fine, suggestive finger and hole emojis mean we need to split off.”

Dan rested his arms on the table and hid his face. “You’re disgusting. But that works.”

“One margarita,” said Phil as he approached Dan. He set down Dan’s drink and sat down. “And here I have my super manly strawberry cocktail.”

“It’s just oozing testosterone,” teased Dan. He picked up his drink and began sipping it, enjoying the taste. “I prefer peach cocktails personally.”

“I can’t tell if you both just like these easy drinks, or if you can’t hold your liquor,” said Tyler. “Oh,” he pretended to have a realization. “Wait a minute. I seem to recall—”

Dan raised his hand up, “Shut up. Shut the fuck up right now. That was _one_ time!”

“To be fair, if the cab hadn’t have showed up, we probably would have hooked up,” observed Phil.

“Oh, I’m not denying that, but Tyler needs to shut it.”

“When do I ever shut up?” asked Tyler.

Phil shrugged, “True.”

“I think that Tyler is like a shark,” commented Dan. “Sharks die if they don’t keep swimming. Tyler will die if he doesn’t talk.”

Tyler scoffed, “Hashtag rude.”

“Yeah, you would know,” teased Connor as he sat down. He handed Tyler his drink and gave a goofy smile. “I loooove you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Tyler tossed his head and eyes back. “The things I put up with.”

After finishing their drinks, the boys took an Uber back home. Despite the late hour, they all agreed that ordering pizza was acceptable. Dan took out his phone and, in his slightly intoxicated state, didn’t think twice when handing it to Tyler.

“Here, go ahead and phone for it. I need to use the toilet,” he said as he handed off the phone and turned away.

Even though pizza was on the way, Dan felt exhausted enough to try and crash out until the food arrived. Lying in bed, his eyes immediately closed, fatigue taking over. He felt the bed move slightly, nearly making him jump out of his skin.

“Sorry,” said Phil. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Dan couldn’t help but laugh to cover up how startled he felt. “Jesus Christ! You have me a fucking heart attack, you spork.” He motioned for Phil to lay by him.

Phil lay beside Dan, pulling the younger man to him. Dan lay his head on Phil’s chest, nuzzling Phil’s neck and lacing their fingers together. “I really needed this holiday.”

“So did I,” replied Phil. He gingerly kissed the top of Dan’s head. “I’m glad it’s been treating you well.”

“My nightmares have stopped.”

“I noticed,” he smiled.  “You’ve been sleeping really soundly.”

A knock at the door cut their conversation short.

Dan shifted his attention, “Yes?”

Tyler carefully opened the door, hunching his shoulders awkwardly. “Sorry. Dan, can I talk to you please?”

“Here, I’ll move,” said Phil. He got up and left the room, not really giving it any thought.

Tyler closed the door and turned on the light. He stared at Dan, clear anger crossing his expression. “I swear to god.”

Dan felt his heart drop into this stomach. No. “W-what?”

Tyler held up Dan’s phone, the screen displaying the email. “When the fuck were you going to tell me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed that :) I'm sorry it was shorter than normal, but I really wanted to end it where I did. Sorrynotsorry to say that the cute holiday chapters are over, and now we're back to our regularly scheduled programming >:) But thank you so much for reading!
> 
> As usual, you can follow me on my social media to keep up with things. :) Thanks again, and I'll see you next chapter!
> 
> Tumblr: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK FROM THE WAR (school)! I'm so sorry about that wait, guys! But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 20:

There was no doubt about it. Dan felt bile building in his throat. It would be a miracle if he managed to keep himself from getting sick. The anger in Tyler’s eyes was clear and justifiable. Dan didn’t know what to say. How was he going to explain it? He wished that he could have a few moments to think of something to say, but Tyler was staring at him, his expression seething pissed, demanding answers.

“Why were you going through my emails?” asked Dan hoping to temporarily shift the blame.

Tyler’s eyes narrowed, irritated with what Dan was trying to do. “I turned on your phone to order the food, and it was the last thing you had opened, so I saw it. Dumbass.”

“Oh,” Dan felt his heart drop. Shit. Not only was Tyler not snooping, but now he had to explain why he was looking at it again. “Tyler, I swear to you I will explain that email if you promise not to bring it up to Phil.”

“Dan, I’m not saying anything to Phil, but you are,” said Tyler, his tone sharp.

Dan released a frustrated sigh, “Tyler, you don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand? Dan, it’s me! We’ve been friends for _six years_. I always understand. What I don’t understand is why you hid it from me and from Phil. This is amazing news.”

“It may be amazing news, but I’m not taking the offer.”

“What?” shouted Tyler. “Why not? Are you insane?”

“Keep your voice down!” snapped Dan. “I’m not going. That would mean leaving London to go to _Los Angeles_. I’d be leaving Phil, and you, and I just, no. I’m not going.”

Tyler sighed. “Dan, I know that leaving would be hard, but you can’t turn this away.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want you or Phil to know about it. I was just going to delete the email and forget it ever happened.”

Walking over to Dan, Tyler sat down beside him, placing his hand on Dan’s knee. “Look, I know it’s going to be hard, but you should talk to Phil about this. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you move to LA, maybe he’d go with you.”

Dan was taken aback. Tyler usually discouraged moving things forward too quickly. It was strange for him to suggest this. “Aren’t you usually against moving too fast? Moving in together is one thing, but in another country?”

“I don’t know,” Tyler shrugged. “It would be crazy, but if it means you consider taking this opportunity, do what you’ve got to, boo.”

“It’s just that,” he paused, “if Phil doesn’t go with me, he’d still never forgive me for not taking the opportunity. And I can’t leave him, Tyler. I can’t. I don’t know what would happen to me if I did.”

“All I can say is, wait for the holidays to be over. Once we get back to London, sit him down and talk to him. But you have to do it right away. If he finds out on his own, it’ll be much worse.”

Dan nodded his head in agreement, “You’re right. I never meant for even you to find out, let alone like that. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just please promise me you’ll tell Phil about it as soon as we all get back to London.”

“Okay,” Dan sighed, “I promise.”

***

Because of that promise, the days went by in a flash. Before Dan could comprehend how much time had passed, he was back on a flight, headed home with Phil, Tyler, and Connor. He wanted to sleep, but his heart was racing too much for that to be possible. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was scared. What if something happened to his and Phil’s relationship? What if Phil wouldn’t go with him? Questions without any answers swirled in his mind, making him feel consistently worried.

It was a both a blessing and a curse that Phil couldn’t sleep either. Whilst Tyler and Connor were passed out in the row behind them, Phil was wide awake. Dan and Phil cuddled up together to watch Big Hero 6 on their small TV. Dan laced their fingers together, wanting to interlock them as close together as possible. He didn’t want to let go, ever, but it would happen eventually. He’d be forced to let go; he’d be forced to tell Phil the truth. What was he going to do…?

Phil turned his head, lightly nuzzling Dan’s neck. “I had a really nice holiday.”

Despite everything, Dan couldn’t help but smile. “I did too. It was really nice, and it was a lot of fun. I can’t believe how many episodes of _F.R.I.E.N.D.S_ we watched when we were snowed in.”

“’Oh. My. God.’” Phil imitated a character from the show, making Dan laugh. “It was great though, and I think Jackie is one of my favorite people now.”

“She’s everyone’s favorite.” Dan chuckled, “Just don’t wake her in the middle of the night.”

Phil covered his mouth with his hand to suppress a laugh, “Remember when we almost did? Well, you, actually.”

Dan lightly smacked Phil’s arm, his cheeks lighting up. “Shut up. That was just as much your fault as it was mine.”

The rest of the flight went by easily, but from the moment the plane landed, Dan felt overwhelmed with worry. It wouldn’t be long before they were back home, and then he’d have no choice but to tell Phil the truth. As much as he would love to avoid the subject and never bring it up, pissing off Tyler was not something that he wanted to do. At least he had _some_ time. Phil went back to his own home to unpack, giving Dan time to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wanted to say. However, that wasn’t going over very well. Every time Dan felt he had the right words to say, he would say them out loud, and then they were wrong. He ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a harsh, frustrated huff. What a nightmare. Something was going to go wrong, he just knew it.

Taking out his cell phone, Dan opened up the email. He read it over and over again. Was it worth it? Was Tyler right about how good of an opportunity it was? From the get-go, he’d ignored the details of it. As soon as he read “Los Angeles”, he pushed it all aside. But, looking at it again, it…it really was a great opportunity. Turning something like this away, he’d have to be an idiot, but he couldn’t leave Phil. He just couldn’t. Maybe Tyler was right about asking Phil to come with him. It was plausible, just barely. But, what if Phil said no? What if they broke up because of it? His mind drifted back to Nathan. He couldn’t fathom what would happen to him if he lost the one person he loved again. No, he couldn’t let it happen, but he also couldn’t hide the truth forever. He was at a standstill, standing on top of a pinnacle, having no idea where to go next.

His phone went off, making him aware of a text. He clicked on his phone to check it.

**Phil:**

**Almost done unpacking, but I think I’m just going to stay in tonight. I’m more exhausted than I thought since I didn’t sleep on the plane. I’ll be over tomorrow though. <3**

**Dan: Sounds good :) Get some rest. I love you.**

**Phil: I love you too, bear ^^**

Dan turned off his phone and tossed it onto his bed. He didn’t have the energy to unpack, or the motivation. After changing into sleepwear, he lay in bed, lazily scrolling through twitter, waiting for fatigue to kick in.

_Nathan lay on the ground, the bullet wound oozing blood, pooling throughout his shirt. Dan cradled him close, tears streaming involuntarily. He cried out, screaming for Nathan to be okay, but it was too late._

_“Why weren’t you there?” asked Nathan._

_Dan’s eyes shot open. He began trembling violently. Guilt engulfed him. Why couldn’t he have been there on time? He should have left early. It was his fault. It was his fault._

_“It was your fault,” whispered Nathan. “This was_ your _fault.”_

Dan awoke with a severe start. He bolted upright, heaving deep breaths as tears spilled down his cheeks. His heart was pounding harshly in his chest. Quickly, he reached for his phone and texted Phil.

**Dan:**

**If you’re awake, can we meet somewhere? I’ll even come over to your apartment. I just really need you right now.**

A few minutes passed before Phil replied.

**Phil: You can come over, bear. Are you okay?**

**Dan: I’ll see you soon.**

Dan felt guilty. He knew replying with that probably had Phil worried, but he really didn’t want to try to explain. He took his own car, knowing that catching a taxi at four in the morning was _not_ going to happen. Once he arrived at Phil’s apartment, he used the key Phil had made for him and went inside.

Phil looked up from the couch and stood immediately. “Bear, what’s going on?” Fear swam forcefully within him. What was happening?

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil, pulling the other man as close as possible. “I love you. I love you so much and I can’t lose you,” he poured out.

Now Phil was extremely worried. He maneuvered Dan so that they could both sit down. He watched Dan carefully, not sure if Dan had more to say.

“I, uh,” Dan paused, taking a deep breath. “I got offered a job.”

“What?” asked Phil in shock. His face lit up. “That’s great! That’s—”

“In Los Angeles.”

Phil’s expression dropped. “What?” he whispered.

Dan shifted his gaze to meet Phil’s, his eyes shining with light tears. “It’s all the way in Los Angeles. I was waiting until after the holidays to tell you.”

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Phil wasn’t sure what he felt. It was wonderful news. But, Los Angeles; that was so far. “Are you going to take it?”

“I don’t know. It’s a wonderful offer, but it’s so far. I don’t want to leave everything here behind.”

“What is exactly is the offer?”

Dan reached into his pocket and pulled up the email. He handed his phone to Phil. Phil read the email carefully, looking for any red flags; there were none. Handing the phone back to Dan, he sighed.

“You can’t turn that down. You just can’t. It’s incredible,” he said.

“I know that… But leaving, I don’t know if I can do it.” Dan sighed, closing his eyes, allowing the stray tears to leak out. “Phil, would you come with me?”

Phil’s eyes slowly widened, his mouth falling open. “What?”

“Will you come with me?” Dan didn’t dare open his eyes. He couldn’t bear to see what expression Phil was wearing. When silence followed, all he could hear was his heart slamming.

“I’ll have to think about it,” said Phil finally.

Dan looked at him with surprise. “Really? You’ll consider it?”

“Yes,” Phil nodded, “but leaving would be huge for me too. So I’ll need a few days to think it over and really weigh the pros and cons.”

“Okay,” Dan managed a small smile. “That means a lot to me.”

Phil grinned as well. He gave Dan’s lips a quick peck.

“Can I stay here tonight?” asked Dan. “I wasn’t sleeping well.”

Phil intertwined their fingers and stood up, bringing Dan with him. “Come on.” He led Dan to the bedroom. They lay together, laced together in every way possible.

Phil slowly ran his fingers through Dan’s hair, lulling Dan to sleep. Now he was the one who couldn’t seem to find rest. His mind was racing. How could he leave his home? Everyone he knew was in the UK. He couldn’t fathom moving to America. However, the thought of not being with Dan made his heart ache. He couldn’t bare leaving, and he also couldn’t stand to leave Dan behind. With no indication of what to do, he closed his eyes, hoping dearly that an answer would somehow find him. After all, he’d promised that in a few days he’d make the biggest decision of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, guys! I don't know if you noticed, but we are reaching the endgame. I have the last two chapters mapped out, and now I just need to write them. Prepare yourselves.
> 
> Thanks again! As always, you can follow me on other social media for more phan related stuff. See you guys soon! Bye bye~ ^^
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION! Hey, sorry, XD Just needed to let you guys know that reading the notes at the end of this is extremely important! Thanks! Enjoy the chapter!

Picture Perfect

 

  
Chapter 21:

The frigid air was numbing, violently piercing Phil’s skin until he could hardly feel the bite anymore. He sat down on a bench in the park. Once again, he really needed to think. He absentmindedly kicked the snow on the ground, the white ice reminding him that not all that much time had truly passed. There was a saying that went, “Seasons change, but people don’t.” And yet, the season was the thing in the world that hadn’t changed. White powder still littered the ground; the clouds were still constantly present and dark grey. Phil was the one who had changed, and in such a short time. He wondered how that was possible when so little time had gone by. In mere months, his whole life had twisted around, and now he was left without a single clue of what to do.

The idea of moving to Los Angeles was terrifying. The city was much bigger than London, and it was in another country. Phil had only been to America once with his family when he was a child. They took him to New York, which was exciting, but the city was very intimidating. All he could imagine was another city like that, and he had no idea if he could manage to live there.

As the air continued to make his skin numb, part of him wished it could have the same effect on his emotions. If he could not feel anything, make an outsider perspective decision, it would be so much easier. Sadly, that wasn’t the case, and there was no way it could be. He only had a few days to make a decision; that’s what he promised.

He reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone. He began typing, knowing that he needed some sort of guidance. After getting a response, he headed home to be able to carry on a better conversation.

Once Phil was home, he sat down with his laptop, clicking it on. He opened up Skype and waited. Soon enough, a call began to come through. He answered it as fast as he could.

“Hey, mum,” he said with a small smile.

His mother smiled on screen, happy to see him. “Hi, sweetie. What’s going on? You only ever ask to get on here when something’s wrong.”

“I just really need some advice.”

“Well,” she leaned back, “lay it on me.”

Phil launched into a full blown story. He’d told his mum over the course of time little things about him and Dan. She knew they were dating, but she didn’t know a lot of details. Phil began pouring out everything he deemed necessary for her to know. He finished up, heaving a heavy sigh. By that point, his mum was looking at him with sad eyes and her hand over heart.

“Oh…honey,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry this is so hard on you.”

Phil felt like he could cry. In that moment he realized that he might. His eyes felt warm, and soon enough the warmth spilled out, running down his face. “I don’t know what to do.” He raised his arm to wipe away his tears. “I’ve never been more torn or confused. I love him. I love him so much, but I don’t know if I can leave. This is my home. All my friends and family are in this country.”

His mum sighed, “Well, baby, the home is where the heart is, and right now, it sounds like your heart is with Dan. I’ve never seen you so happy when talking about someone. You light up even more than you already do, and you and I both know that’s saying something.”

Phil rolled his eyes and laughed lightly. “You’ve got to stop calling me the sun. I am not the literal sun.”

“Well, you’re my _son_ ,” she pointed at the camera and smiled.

“Oh god,” Phil pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a real laugh this time. “Mum! That was so bad! No wonder I have a terrible sense of humor!”

“My point is,” she calmed down from her giggles, “that you need to go with whatever makes you happy. Leaving home is hard, but if it means you’re with the person that means the most to you, then it can be worth it. Whatever you decide, baby, it’s going to work out. I promise.”

Phil managed a small smile, “Thanks, mum. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetie. I’ll talk to you soon.” She waved and turned off Skype.

Phil closed his laptop. He took a long deep breath, trying to process everything and relax. It was going to be really rough, but he knew what he was going to do. His mum was right; it was going to be okay. It had to be.

***

Dan paced back and forth in his apartment frantically. He’d been on the phone with Tyler for over an hour. It was a blessing that Tyler dealt with his frazzled antics, especially because if he had to deal with the nerves alone, he would have already had at least a minor breakdown. It was terrifying him not knowing what Phil was going to say. Deep down, he couldn’t believe that he had asked in the first place. How could he ask Phil to pack up his life and go with him? He felt like an idiot, a selfish idiot.

What was he going to do if Phil said no? Tyler and Phil would never let it go if he turned it down. Yes, at the end of the day, it was his decision, but even he knew that turning it away would be a mistake.

“What if he says no?” asked Dan, admittedly for at least the fifth time.

“He won’t,” replied Tyler. His phone was beside him on his desk. He was using the speaker function so he could attend to his work on the computer while still talking with Dan. He couldn’t help but think that it was a good thing he was patient. Dan was quite a handful when extremely stressed. He sighed, “Babe, I know you’re scared, but this is just one of the challenges you two have to get through. If your relationship is as strong as it seems, you’ll be able to get through this no matter what happens.”

Dan let out a few incoherent noises of protest before giving up. “You’re right. I’m just so stressed out. I’ve never been more scared, and time has never seemed to drag on so much. I swear, hours go by, and then I look at my phone to see it’s been ten minutes.”

“I know, babe,” said Tyler. “It’s tough, but you giving him time to really think it over is what’s going to result in the best outcome. He has a lot to think about. I mean, you’d both be packing up your _entire lives_. Give him time, and in the meantime, you need to go over some things as well. For one, you need to email that guy back. I’m going to assume you haven’t yet.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“I know, because you’re waiting for Phil’s answer, but you can’t do that. You need to email that guy back as soon as possible, and since you’re not doing anything, I vouch you do it now.”

Dan groaned, “Now?”

“Now.”

“I’ll call you later.” Dan hung up his cellphone and then pressed the top of it to his forehead. He continued to huff and let out frustrated sounds, trying to get it out of his system before writing the email.

Dan sat down in front of his computer. He opened up Gmail and read over the email again. With a shaking hand, he moved the mouse and clicked “reply”.

**Mr. Davis, I am interested in taking this position. Please let me know if there is any information that you need from me. I look forward to working out details and becoming a member of your company.**

**Thank you so much,**

**Daniel Howell**

Dan clicked the send button, and his heart gave one harsh slam against his chest. There. It was done. There was no going back. Now, no matter what Phil said, he’d made the commitment.

A knock at the door snapped Dan out of his trance. He bolted up, hurrying and looking through the peephole. Just as expected.

“Phil,” he said as he opened the door. He stepped aside, letting Phil walk in. “Normally you call first. You scared me. What’s going on?”

Phil inhaled deeply and quietly, trying to hide that he was trying to stay calm. He looked up at Dan, his eyes shining. “I can’t go with you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hiding behind brink wall to avoid gun shots* *whistles* Hey there's one more chapter so don't shoot yet!
> 
> Anyways, I have some really big news. Firstly, the bad part of it, is after Picture Perfect is over, I will be taking a long hiatus from Fanfiction. BUT! There's a reason being this.
> 
> Over the summer, I am going to be working day and night on an original novel that I have had in progress for a while. Once it's complete, I'm going to seek publication. This is a big step for me as a writer. I want writing to be my career, so this is the first step. That's why I'm taking a hiatus, but I won't be gone forever. I love writing fanfiction to much to just walk away :)
> 
> Also, I really want to start uploading videos to my YouTube channel. I'll be talking about writing, (finally making that writing tips video for you guys) books that I'm reading, stuff like that. It'll help keep me on track with what I'm doing in my personal life to jumpstart my career, and if you guys are interested in tuning in, I will put a link to my channel so you can go subscribe ^.^
> 
> Lastly, I just wanted to thank you guys. The overwhelming response I've received on this fic is what gave me the confidence to attempt getting published. It's all I want, and because of you guys I'm going to really try and go get it. So thank you so much.
> 
> As always, I hope you guys liked that chapter! All my social media links will be below! Thanks again you lovelies! Bye~!
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/
> 
> YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Nicolettepino


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...  
> I can't believe we're at the end, but we are. I hope you guys enjoy it :) Thank you for being here <3

Chapter 22:

 _CRASH!_ It was like watching everything that mattered in the world get smashed into millions of pieces. Dan suddenly felt as if he couldn’t breathe. His throat closed up, and his chest ached. Phil wasn’t going with him. Why? He wanted to ask, but that didn’t seem like the best idea. He feared that he wouldn’t be able to handle the answer.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Phil. “I just…I can’t leave Britain. It’s my home, and I’m not ready to leave it behind.”

Dan felt himself on the brink of tears, but he swallowed it back. “You don’t have to explain. I was just hoping, but I completely understand.” His heart sent shooting pains throughout his body. He’d been heartbroken, and he’d known loss, but this was a different kind of pain. “I’m still going to take the job.” His voice faltered slightly with his statement.

“I would hope so,” Phil attempted to smile, “it’s a great thing. You deserve it.” He paused for a moment. The dreaded question was on the tip of his tongue, but he felt nauseas at the idea of having to ask it. “But…” he trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it.

“Where do we go from here?” Dan inquired. He knew Phil well enough to know what words were resting in Phil’s mouth. “I don’t know. What do you want to do? Long distance seems,” he stopped, shifting his gaze to the floor.

Phil took Dan’s hands into his own, pulling Dan closer. “I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to hold you back. Your entire life is about to change. I know that you would need to be free.”

Now the tears couldn’t be held back. They dripped slowly down Dan’s cheeks, despite his unchanging expression. “I don’t want to hold you back either.”

Phil pulled Dan to him, pressing their lips together. It was a sad kiss, a type of goodbye. He felt everything breaking, tearing, but what else was he supposed to do?

“Will you go to the airport with me? You know, when I go?” asked Dan.

“Of course I will,” Phil rested his forehead against Dan’s. “I promise.”

***

It wasn’t long before Dan was ready to head to Los Angeles. He and Phil drove to the airport, the entire ride silent and cold like a bitter winter night. They couldn’t bring themselves to engage in conversation. It hurt too much. Once they arrived, time seemed to go by all too fast. Everything moved quickly, and before they knew it, it was time.

“Attention. All flights at B gates will be boarding momentarily,” said a voice over the intercom.

Dan and Phil didn’t dare look at each other. They knew that if they did, they’d probably burst into tears. Holding everything together was hard enough as it was. Phil felt his heart breaking apart in his chest. There was a painful sting, and he felt sick to his stomach. He’d been heartbroken before, but never this bad. It was unlike anything he’d felt before.

Dan thought he might be sick. Everything was falling apart. How could he do this? How could he leave? It was a mistake. It had to be.

“That’s your flight,” said Phil in a quiet voice. “You should probably go so you don’t miss it.” Keeping his emotions at bay was proving to be nearly impossible.

“Right,” said Dan as he stood up. He made the mistake of turning to look at Phil. He felt everything ripping apart.

Phil stood up and met Dan’s eyes. “I-I’ll walk with you.”

They walked together until Phil wasn’t allowed any further. Neither of them said a word out of the fear of falling to shattered pieces, pieces that may never be picked up.

“Last call for all flights at B gates,” said the voice over the intercom.

“That’s me,” whispered Dan. He looked at Phil, uncontrolled tears shimmering in his eyes. “I love you…”

Phil wanted to snap right there. He wanted to cry. He wanted to tell Dan not to go, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “I love you too.” Slowly, he brought himself forward, gingerly pressing his lips to Dan’s.

Dan reciprocated, setting his luggage down and bringing his arms around Phil. He deepened the kiss, treasuring it. He pulled away, resting their noses together. Carefully, he brought the rest of his body away from Phil. He grabbed his suitcase and gave a small wave, turning away before Phil could see him fall apart. Approaching the entrance to the plane, he scanned his ticket. He looked back, meeting eyes with Phil one last time, and then he stepped out of sight.

***

Phil was laying on his couch watching movies on Netflix. He let various sad love movies play in the background as he drowned his sorrows in copious amounts of popcorn. Just as he felt himself dozing off, a knock at the door startled him. “Jesus, what now?” he angrily groaned as he got up. Going over to the door, he opened it, and his heart almost burst.

Dan.

“What the, huh, Dan?” he questioned as he threw his arms around Dan.

Dan returned the gesture, holding Phil as tightly as possible. “Not to sound like I’m quoting _F.R.I.E.N.D.S._ again, but I got off the plane…”

Phil pulled away to look at Dan, his expression showing a clear mix of joy and confusion. “But why? Why’d you get off?”

“Because you weren’t on it with me.” Dan took Phil’s hands into his own. “I thought about what I wanted to say about a million times on the way here. Look,” he squeezed Phil’s hands. “No job is worth not being with you. I’d take being on the streets and having you by my side, over having my dream job for the rest of my life. I lost the love of my life once, so how stupid would I have to be to _walk away_ from my second chance, the chance most people don’t get.” He then bent down, getting on one knee.

Phil’s eyes widened with shock, his jaw falling agape. “Dan. W-what are you—?”

“I don’t have a ring, or any real plan. All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’d be an idiot to try and live any other way. So, Phil Lester, will you please do me the honor of marrying me?” Before Dan could get the word “me” out of his mouth, Phil had jumped down and thrown his arms around Dan.

“Yes!” Phil nearly knocked Dan over from tossing all of his weight onto the younger man. “Yes, I will.” He maneuvered to kiss Dan, bringing his hands to Dan’s face. “I’m never going to let you go again; I promise.”

Dan smiled, gently pressing his nose against Phil’s. “And I’ll never leave again. You’ve got me forever now.”

“I think I’ll live.” Phil chuckled lightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Dan brought their lips together again. They lay there, not bother to move to a different space. All they could do was treasure each other, hold each other. Neither of them were entirely sure how, but it was going to be okay. As long as they stayed together.

~5 Years Later~

“Move over! It’s my turn!” shouted a young girl. She was just over five years old, pushing her brother out of the way so she could play on the slide.

The boy, age 8, tried pushing her back. “Delia, you just took your turn!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” said Phil as he walked over to them both. “I saw. Winnie, give your sister a turn, please.”

Winnie huffed. “Okay.” He moved aside, letting Delia slide down the slide. “Can we just put two slides in the backyard?”

“We’ll see,” said Phil with a smile. He ruffled Winnie’s hair. “One swing set and slide was a big enough challenge for me and dad.”

“Well,” started Dan as he approached. “That’s because we’re both construction-challenged. Hopefully if I get the promotion we can afford to hire someone.” He held up his camera. “In the meantime, your mum wants some pictures of you and the kids to put up around the house.”

Phil laughed, “When does she _not_ want new pictures?”

Dan shrugged, “Not entirely sure, but she’s too much of a sweetheart to let down.”

Dan began snapping pictures of Phil, Delia, and Winnie, smiling uncontrollably as he did so.

After getting engaged, it was only 6 months later when Dan and Phil got married. Shortly after that, Dan was hired at a different photography company, one that paid even better than the last one. After three years of saving up money and buying a home, they were able to adopt Winnie and Delia. The kids were growing up so fast. For the first time in a long time, everything was wonderful, and they couldn’t have been happier.

Once Dan was done taking photos of Phil and the kids, he decided to take a few candid shots as the kids played on the swing set. He took a few candid pictures of Phil, but then he decided to take a regular photo. There were a dozen different things he could have said to get Phil’s attention.

“Phil!”

“Smile!”

“Look over here, you spork!”

He had used each of these in the past, but this time he knew exactly what he wanted to say to get the most beautiful smile possible from Phil.

“Hey, Phil,” he called out, getting his husband’s attention. “I love you.” _Snap!_ He took the picture right as Phil grinned, and just like everything else in that moment, it was perfect.

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end everyone. smile emoticon I hope you enjoyed that story. It was quite a journey to write it, and I had an amazing time heart emoticon I'm so happy that I got to share it with all of you.
> 
> There are few shout outs that I'd like to give now that we're at the end.
> 
> First, thank you to "apieformydean" for being my first comment! grin emoticon  
> Next, thank you to "George89" for leaving a comment that was incredibly long and sweet, and gave me confidence when I was at a standstill with my writing.  
> Next, thank you to "@Dannyboylester" and "@goddamnitlester" two wonderful people on Twitter who are always absolute sweethearts that always make my day!  
> And last, but obviously not least (cliche af), thank you to my beautiful girlfriend, "cynx_17_kh" We met through the comments of this fic, and she's been there with me when I was stuck or lacking confidence in my writing heart emoticon She's really something special.
> 
> And of course thank you to everyone who read, commented, left kudos, all of that good stuff. You guys are amazing! 
> 
> It'll be a while before I start posting a new fic, but I will be back! Promise! And if you want to know when that is, I'll post my social media links below. Thank again, everyone! You're all incredible <3 Bye~
> 
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/followurdream97
> 
> Tumblr: http://phangirl-landphil.tumblr.com/
> 
> YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Nicolettepino


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